Kids these days

[ruksak]

I posted this here, in the Society & Rights forum because of the relevance to the new age we live in, as well as the discussion of privacy rights of teens. As a parent of a 12 year old daughter whom I cannot communicate with because she's always got her nose in her laptop, I found this interesting.



How do we feel about this?

1) About his perceived "snooping"?
2) About the use of a gun in this video?
3) About his posting this video on his daughters Facebook page?

I'll wait for replies before I chime in. Enjoy!

[Darklordabc]

Initial reaction: He's probably a douche bag
1. No comment
2. Waste of a laptop
3. Douche thing to do

[barts]

The guy has the daughter whom he raised. If she's not to his liking, he needs to look to himself (and his various wives) to learn why.

In my view, this father is acting as irresponsibly, as immaturely, and as disrespectfully as he claims his daughter is.

[BlackSheep]

1) About his perceived "snooping"?

It demonstrates he has no respect for his daughter and as such she has no respect for him. Kids are gonna vent and it has nothing to do with being cool.

2) About the use of a gun in this video?

The gun use in the video shows me he is a guy who is all about show and a power play.

3) About his posting this video on his daughters Facebook page?

Again he is in a power struggle with his daughter. he may win the power struggle and he may lose his daughter.

[BlackSheep]

The guy has the daughter whom he raised. If she's not to his liking, he needs to look to himself (and his various wives) to learn why.

I agree.

In my view, this father is acting as irresponsibly, as immaturely, and as disrespectfully as he claims his daughter is.

I think he is acting far more irresponsibly, immature and disrespectful than his daughter.

[Angry Citizen]

How do we feel about this?

1) About his perceived "snooping"?
2) About the use of a gun in this video?
3) About his posting this video on his daughters Facebook page?

I feel conflicted, but overall I think it was more on the positive than on the negative.

1) It's one thing to "snoop" and discover intimate details of a daughter's life like, say, through a journal/diary, but she's posting publicly on a public website. The only claim to privacy is that she tried to block her parents from seeing it. Tried, and failed. This is also good training for real life. If a boss manages to find a bitchy post about your time on the job, including numerous disrespectful messages to the boss, do you think the boss is gonna say "oops, I shouldn't have been in here to begin with"?

2) Creative and justified. Many parents have said "I'm going to throw that piece of shit away if you don't start behaving!" He took it one step further through drama. He shot a laptop. It's not like he shot the daughter.

3) I think this is slightly dubious, but the public humiliation will likely be a huge social sanction against further misbehavior. Not something I'd do myself, but not something I'm willing to criticize.

Honestly, I understand where the daughter's coming from. I too was once a teen. But I think where the father erred is in his assumption that the daughter is "lazy" because she's not working and going to school at the same time. Sure, she's in high school, and high school is something of a joke to anyone whose IQ is over 100, but children should focus on being children and trying to achieve an education rather than attempting to enter the workforce as early as possible. I'm almost twenty-one and have never held so much as a shoe-shine service or lemonade stand. I'm also spending most of my days in intellectual activities of some kind or another, either through this site or through a mechanics book. I don't have time to hold a job, and if I did, what possible benefit would it be? "Here's your change sir" and "Do you want fries with that" are the only jobs I could get right now, and these are about as useful to an aspiring engineer as tits on a bull.

Barts:

The guy has the daughter whom he raised.

In this age of globalized communication at the tips of one's fingers, the guy has the daughter society raised. The parent is only one small variable in a world that teaches children they have to work when they're still learning how to be responsible adults. The child has internet influences, work influences, school influences, friend influences, enemy influences, and between all those influences, sometimes they get parent influences as well. You're from an age where parents had direct control over their child's lives, and could be said to be by far the main influence. That age died a decade ago. Get with the times.

[ruksak]

It seems he provides very well for his daughter. He obviously gives her the best things in life that he works hard for. Yet she wants to be paid for her chores and obviously doesn't appreciate what it takes to earn the money necessary to purchase a laptop.

Not too long ago, many fathers would have beaten the skin right off her ass for finding a letter that communicated such a message about her disdain for her parents asking her to do her part.

He giveth, he taketh away. For her friends that thought she was righteous in her rebellion, when they logged on to communicate with her, they were greeted with her father.

The guy has the daughter whom he raised. If she's not to his liking, he needs to look to himself (and his various wives) to learn why.

For all we know, his wife got caught sucking off the neighbor. So we shouldn't pass judgement on his marital past. I give credit to him for including his ex-wife (her mother) on the list of people whom are angry at her for this. Which tells me that her mother is having issues with her self-entitlement as well.

Anyone I've ever known that has a preteen/teenage child has some level of issue with them in regard to self-entitlement, barts. The story is as old as time. Children coming of age not realizing what it's like to earn their keep. That these toys we take for granted cost money, money that must be earned.

In my view, this father is acting as irresponsibly, as immaturely, and as disrespectfully as he claims his daughter is.

I wish you could explain in better detail? How, specifically, is this irresponsible or disrespectful?

I understand the "immature" part. He seemed a bit glorious in wielding a gun to do this. Actually I would've used a shotgun, but I doubt I would have paused to describe the caliber and the make of the ammunition. I'll give you that much.

[lsbskins1]

I have mixed feelings about this guy. I like it that he took his daughter to task for her "cleaning woman" condescending bullshit, but then...he fucking had to shoot the damn computer. Temper, temper! And it isn't a sign of maturity when you try to out "asshole" your teenager. Its kind of like punching someone in the face to teach them not to punch people in the face. He gets an A for caring about her in general and especially for trying to teach her the value of the work and toil of others, but an F for method.

[ruksak]

It demonstrates he has no respect for his daughter and as such she has no respect for him.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

She apparently wanted him to upgrade/update her laptop, one that he bought her. An item that far exceeds in price anything I ever received as a child. In the course of doing so he encountered a communication between his daughter and her friends. This communication painted her father as a slave driver that treats her unfairly. I can only imagine how my blood would boil to learn that my daughter has been openly telling the public that I'm a tight-ass slave driver, when it appears he rewards her greatly for completing her chores as requested.

The gun use in the video shows me he is a guy who is all about show and a power play.

20 years ago, school administrators would wield a frightening paddle to beat other peoples kids for their transgressions as they saw fit. I think some perspective is key.

I believe the utilization of the gun is a tremendous tool. Here he has used this tool as a way of communicating with teenagers in a way that they would understand. A sledgehammer would've had the same affect. Teens are terribly superficial, and the use of a gun would likely be seen as "cool" to kids. As well, the symbolism is meant to convey power. We live in an age where you cannot smack your kids ass or you might go to jail and have your kids taken from your home. It is time for some creativity.

I think this is a great example of the ways of old clashing with the ways of the new generation.

Again he is in a power struggle with his daughter. he may win the power struggle and he may lose his daughter.

Bah....I bet in 15 years she's a well adjusted adult that will laugh her ass off when telling this story to her friends. I remember thinking my father was an asshole and a tyrant for taking my door from me for slamming it too often. Yes, he actually took my bedroom door off the hinges and put it in his closet. Ohhhhhh I hated him for that. The result; I didn't slam my door anymore and 20 years later I laugh my ass off telling this story to my friends.

[barts]

In this age of globalized communication at the tips of one's fingers, the guy has the daughter society raised. The parent is only one small variable in a world that teaches children they have to work when they're still learning how to be responsible adults.

This father had control and influence over his daughter from the day she was born. He taught her his values, explicitly or implicitly. He had the power to control what influences touched her life. Now that she's not turned out as he hoped, he's blaming her, and taking no responsibility himself.

Moreover, in the raising of his daughter, he has chosen now to shame her before the world. She's 16 years old. Someone who is still learning and maturing. Someone who at 16 is likely acutely sensitive to what people think of her. Someone who can still use a real, loving parent, and he chooses to shame her, at last count, in front of over 18 million people.

Too often parents praise themselves if the kids turn out all right, and blame the kids if they don't. This Tom Jordan is a parent of the worst kind, and the one who will suffer most is the daughter whom he is badly raising and now publicly humiliating both on YouTube and Facebook.

Based on the comments on YouTube and Facebook, Jordan's public humiliation of his daughter is widely supported. Jordan's daughter is today reviled by millions of strangers who know nothing of the young girl except what her father published. And, Jordan has destroyed the only means his daughter had to explain herself to millions of people who now condemn her because of the words of a gun-toting, cigarette smoking, twice-married self-professed "good" parent whose idea of disciplining children is public humiliation.

Jordan is publicly torturing his daughter and reveling, it seems, in the attention he is getting.

Kids don't get to choose their parents, but parents get to choose to have kids and how they raise them. Jordan is an example of the worst kind of father, one who privately and publicly psychologically abuses and humiliates his children. He shouldn't be surprised that he is being treated as he treated her. She is what he raised her to be.

I wonder what Jordan's response will be when the next video his daughter posts on YouTube is her suicide note.

[BlackSheep]

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Well we ave a very small snapshot, but in my experience if you want your kids respect you then you need to respect them. This is from my experience with my two kids (16 & 20) who I have always been there for and have raised by myself for the last four years.

If don't respect them where are they going to learn respect from?

She apparently wanted him to upgrade/update her laptop, one that he bought her. An item that far exceeds in price anything I ever received as a child. In the course of doing so he encountered a communication between his daughter and her friends. This communication painted her father as a slave driver that treats her unfairly. I can only imagine how my blood would boil to learn that my daughter has been openly telling the public that I'm a tight-ass slave driver, when it appears he rewards her greatly for completing her chores as requested.

It is never about stuff. I have been largely unemployed for 2.5 years and my kids have gotten no allowance and had to do without and are respectful while other kids are not bot wit and without. It is not about money or stuff.

20 years ago, school administrators would wield a frightening paddle to beat other peoples kids for their transgressions as they saw fit. I think some perspective is key.

I am aware of that. I am 49. Do you want kids who are afraid or kids who respect. These are very different things.

I believe the utilization of the gun is a tremendous tool. Here he has used this tool as a way of communicating with teenagers in a way that they would understand. A sledgehammer would've had the same affect. Teens are terribly superficial, and the use of a gun would likely be seen as "cool" to kids. As well, the symbolism is meant to convey power. We live in an age where you cannot smack your kids ass or you might go to jail and have your kids taken from your home. It is time for some creativity.

It would have had the same effect as a schoolyard bully. It is time people realized kids are people. There is no magic transition at 18. I am all for creativity, but not when it is meant to foster fear and loathing rather than love and respect.

I think this is a great example of the ways of old clashing with the ways of the new generation.

It is an example of that. I don't want to instill fear into my kids. I don't want the government to instill fear into me. I want to work with my kids to help them get through life in the best way possible and simply trying to force them to respect me is not the way. I respect my kids and most people I deal with. I am ope and honest with my kids.

Bah....I bet in 15 years she's a well adjusted adult that will laugh her ass off when telling this story to her friends. I remember thinking my father was an asshole and a tyrant for taking my door from me for slamming it too often. Yes, he actually took my bedroom door off the hinges and put it in his closet. Ohhhhhh I hated him for that. The result; I didn't slam my door anymore and 20 years later I laugh my ass off telling this story to my friends.

She may very well do that. I would take the door off my kids hinges as well, but that is a long way from what he did. I would also talk to them. He destroyed a valuable piece of property in a show of power and temper. He hacked into something he had no right to do so and he humiliated her.

Do you think she will respect him for this? Do you think this will her learn to respect people? I doubt he has ever respected her and so she does not.

[ruksak]

@ barts.

Kids typically have hundreds, if not thousands, of "friends" on Facebook. Many of these "friends" are not friends at all. Only strangers with a supposed digital identity. Yet she shared her woes with them, allowing droves of strangers to peek into her world.

The lesson seems fair to me. He replied in kind, fought fire with fire, allowed her a taste of her own medicine. {And this is how the world works} Perhaps she will think twice before allowing others to get in on her private life and talking shit about her father to thousands of strangers?