Mail Order Brides: A Disturbing Phenomenon In America

[tinybear]

"Each year, hundreds of Internet bride services recruit thousands of women—mostly from Eastern Europe, Southeast Asia and other economically depressed parts of the globe—to marry their American clients. Matchmaking Web sites feature glowing testimonials and pictures of smiling couples. The sites play off old stereotypes of foreign women as subservient, "traditional" wives."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6884657/site/newsweek/

Folks, the reason why "mail order brides" is a thriving business speaks volumes about American men and what insecure losers they are. They can't get anywhere or deal with American women so they look elsewhere for impoverished, subservient & so-called traditional brides from Third World countries so that they can bully/abuse them. Something is seriously wrong with our society. Where do you think we have gone wrong and how can we remedy the situation (if at all)?

[Milton Bradley]

In my experience, the men ordering mailorder brides are the ones tires of the ball busting, control freaks, and the women who only want to be lied too.


Many, many women refuse to date anybody who doesn't lie to them continouisly. They insist that you pretend to be something you are not, or accept some minor flaws with the sure knowledge that they can change you over time.


This seems to me a uniquely American phenomenon, and many of us just want no part in contemporary American dating culture.


I have already lost all hope in meeting a Cacausian women that does not have the value set put fourth in daytime soaps, womens magazines, and romance novels.


Think for yourself, try having an original thought, will you.

[Milton Bradley]

I forgot to mention the fact that I do not know one soul that is involved with a Cacausian female who does not complain about that fact constantly, or claim to be happy about their relationship.


Not one, straight, or gay.

[tinybear]

And so men like to have mindless robots as their spouse as long as they are pretty, smell like perfume and do the housework, right?

[Milton Bradley]

I never gave an opinion, which I probably should have, nor did I admit to having a mailorder bride.


So, ...


A) I guess I have no objection to other people doing as they wish, I mean, its a free counrty, right? (sarcasm)


B) I will likely never be in a position to attempt something like this myself, so I should not be asked to defend an offense I did not commit. In other words, how can I know if it would be right for me, I have never tried.


However, if your buying, ...

[Pooeypants]

Quote by: Milton Bradley I forgot to mention the fact that I do not know one soul that is involved with a Cacausian female who does not complain about that fact constantly, or claim to be happy about their relationship. Not one, straight, or gay.

PS Caucasian <---- is spelt like so.

I think you're onto something there, our societies have a media which overwhelming brainwashes a lot of woman with prejudices and standards that don't always conform with reality.

[Samildanach]

I am seeing an Eastern European woman from the baltic region and part of what I LIKE about her is the more traditional female role that she has been brought up in. She is by no means subservient, we have our arguments believe u me but I think you have a very skewed viewpoint about these women probably because you view them as some kind of threat. Just because an American man would choose to go out with a foreign bride rather than a homegrown one does not mean he is weak insecure or warped. It purely means he is looking for something that is either not available on the whole within his own culture or very rarely available. The fact is that those women from places such as eastern europe and russia have seen just how hard things can get so when they meet people who are nice to them, ie not trying to push them out on the streets as prostitutes etc etc (See Brigit Jones 2, horrible movie but it does give you some idea.) they really apreciate it. Women brought up to be completely secure in modern society protected by laws etc in a lot of ways just don't respect men to the same degree (and men want respect from their women) because the men they see have had their physical power constrained by law to 'even things up', to make it a nice 'equal' society whether its good for society or not.

They can't get anywhere or deal with American women so they look elsewhere for impoverished, subservient & so-called traditional brides from Third World countries so that they can bully/abuse them.

Maybe thats because American women refuse to deal. Looking elsewhere is not a bad thing if thats what makes you happy, and your assumption that the average man only wants one of these more traditional women to abuse or bully is just plain wrong. On the whole European women are more traditional, have realisitic expectations and are generally pretty down to earth, you are correct that a lot of these societies are not rich by western standards and because of that, for these women, money is not so much of a consideration when choosing a mate, never having had a lot to begin with they learn how to use what they have wisely. so having a women who doesn't want you for your money, who knows how to spend money wisely instead of frittering it away on shoes and handbags, and who is prepared to take on a more traditional role, for most men thats pretty much what they ideally want in a partner.

[G. Adams]

Quote by: tinybear And so men like to have mindless robots as their spouse as long as they are pretty, smell like perfume and do the housework, right?

Of course we don't, but as so many are mindless robots of fashion and media bullshit, they may as well be pretty, smell like perfume and do the housework.

I personally would rather just hang on for an intelligent and independant woman than settle for either a bimbo or housewife.

[ericsp23]

Folks, the reason why "mail order brides" is a thriving business speaks volumes about American men and what insecure losers they are. They can't get anywhere or deal with American women so they look elsewhere for impoverished, subservient & so-called traditional brides from Third World countries so that they can bully/abuse them. Something is seriously wrong with our society. Where do you think we have gone wrong and how can we remedy the situation (if at all)?

I think you are making an unfair genaralization about all American males based on the actions of a very small minority. I personally do not know anyone who would even consider doing something like this, and I suspect that actual number of American males that would do this represent a very small minority of the men in this country.
And I don't even know if it's fair to characterize the men who DO use this service as being control freaks. I would imagine that most of them are just lonely and don't have much luck meeting women and see this as an easy way to do it.
I suspect that the reason the industry is "flourishing" as you say has more to do with the number of foriegn women who want American citizenship the easy way. I don't know the statitistics, but I would imagine that there are many more women looking for American husbands than American men looking for foriegn brides.

[tinybear]

American women outnumber American men.

[ericsp23]

That doesn't mean it is easy to meet women. Some men struggle with this throughout their lives. The process of meeting a woman, dating her, falling in love, and eventually marrying her can be very difficult in our culture. Many men are intimidated by it and find it easier to just place on order over the internet and cut through all the BS.

[Samildanach]

I would imagine that most of them are just lonely and don't have much luck meeting women and see this as an easy way to do it.

There is a hell of a lot more to it than that. Have you actually met any eastern European women? A good deal of them are utterly stunning not having grown up on the burgers and fries diet of the west. I suggest you should take a trip to Riga in Latvia in the midsummer and you would be quite blown away by some of the women just walking around everyday.

[ericsp23]

I spent a summer in Budapest, Hungary as part of my university's study abroad program, and I agree that the women were beautiful. I don't really know that that is the sole motivating factor of the men who participate in this kind of thing though.

[tinybear]

Quote by: ericsp23 That doesn't mean it is easy to meet women. Some men struggle with this throughout their lives. The process of meeting a woman, dating her, falling in love, and eventually marrying her can be very difficult in our culture. Many men are intimidated by it and find it easier to just place on order over the internet and cut through all the BS.

That's why I think men are such wimps!

[tinybear]

Quote by: Samildanach There is a hell of a lot more to it than that. Have you actually met any eastern European women? A good deal of them are utterly stunning not having grown up on the burgers and fries diet of the west. I suggest you should take a trip to Riga in Latvia in the midsummer and you would be quite blown away by some of the women just walking around everyday.

OK, I'll admit American women have got to stop eating at McDs so often, but looks aren't everything, eh guys?

[Samildanach]

That's why I think men are such wimps!

ah tinybear, such judgement, maybe its because of attitudes like that that your men are being driven away into the nonjudgemental arms of Europeans.

As for cutting through all the BS, thats the male way. The less BS the better.

[RickSp]

Quote by: tinybear "Each year, hundreds of Internet bride services recruit thousands of women—mostly from Eastern Europe, Southeast Asia and other economically depressed parts of the globe—to marry their American clients. Folks, the reason why "mail order brides" is a thriving business speaks volumes about American men and what insecure losers they are.

There you go again TB. Once again basing broad and ugly generalizations on things you seem to know little about.

"Each year, hundreds of internet brides" make American males "insecure losers". So a few hundred demonstrate that millions are losers. Painting with a rather broad brush aren't you? I have no idea how many women emmigrate for marriage, nor how many of these would be considered "mail order" brides, and I suspect neither do you.

[tinybear]

Touched a raw nerve there didn't I, Rick?

[ericsp23]

Quote: Quote by: ericsp23 That doesn't mean it is easy to meet women. Some men struggle with this throughout their lives. The process of meeting a woman, dating her, falling in love, and eventually marrying her can be very difficult in our culture. Many men are intimidated by it and find it easier to just place on order over the internet and cut through all the BS. That's why I think men are such wimps!

Can you please explain to me the logic of calling all men wimps because of the actions of a handful of men?

[tinybear]

Did you not hear what Samildanach just said? "Cutting through the BS" is the male way. 'Nuff said, I think.