Mail Order Brides: A Disturbing Phenomenon In America

[ericsp23]

I don't know if I understand how that makes us wimps. I suspect it has more to do with laziness then with being a wimp.

[RickSp]

Quote by: tinybear Touched a raw nerve there didn't I, Rick?

No, just tired of sweeping generalizations based on nothing.

If you really want to make ludicrous assertions at least attempt to support it by something other than your own biases.

[KittyKat]

How about a mail order groom?

If the price was right and I could find a man who is handsome, well built, and willing to take care of me - SOLD!

Have you seen some of the guys that actually get these mail order brides? Well, ugly men need love too!

K

[G. Adams]

I do rental, pay is per hour, double after 8, a third off for groups.

[bishop]

Quote by: Milton Bradley I forgot to mention the fact that I do not know one soul that is involved with a Cacausian female who does not complain about that fact constantly, or claim to be happy about their relationship.

let me be your first then.. i'm with a "caucasian" (part german, belgian, irish, italian, lebanese and palestinian). she's a staple "melting pot" american girl. known her for over 3 years, been together with her for about a year and a half. oh yeah, and i've been living with her for the past 6 months. probably gonna marry her some day.

we have our little bursts of disagreement, but i don't have anything to complain about at all. she's incredibly down to earth in the sense that she doesn't buy into the vogue magazine bullshit AND she isn't one of these loud mouthed bitches who think that the world cares about their unimportant opinions. definitely dated A LOT of girls before i hooked up with her. the vogue magazine girls... everyone knows how they are, especially since so many girls complain about them too. funny, imo, that most of these girls bitching them out are bitches themselves. they look for guys who will listen to everything they say, agree with their opinions, lick the shit off their ass, etc.. from what i've seen, those types of girls are the norm, not the vogue types.

my girl.. if i want to go unshaven one day, bustin out some sweatpants on the bus/train, she won't really care (she'll bust on me though, but i don't care). if i want to ignore her for a bit and play some gamecube or geek out on this site, she'll just find something to do by herself. she isn't some overemotional, newage, money loving, self-loving asshole.. the only expectations either of us have is to love each other and be nice to each other. that's it.. neither of us are the boss of the other person and our egos aren't interested in beating out the other one's ego.

[RickSp]

To follow Bishop's lead, I am very happily married and will be celebrating my 20th anniversary in a bit less than a year. My wife is a professional - good looking, independent and extremely bright. She does very well in a male dominated industry. She is no Stepford wife, nor could I imagine wanting to be in the room with a Stepford wife for more than a few minutes, much less marrying one.

So if MB has never met anyone who doesn't complain about being involved with a "Cacausian female" (though I am not sure what race has to do with it) then I would only suggest that he must be hanging with the wrong crowd.

[bishop]

good girls are always hard to find, but you know it when you find.

[Milton Bradley]

Quote by: Pooeypants PS Caucasian <---- is spelt like so. I think you're onto something there, our societies have a media which overwhelming brainwashes a lot of woman with prejudices and standards that don't always conform with reality.

I know, my spelling habits dried up in the twenty years after High School because I had no reason to put pen to paper.


I watched this happen with my parents. They were seemingly happy until my Mother got her Redbook subsciption.


She would endlessly ask my Father to participate in the tests in the back of the book to "rate their happyness". When my Father was too wise, or too busy to partipate, my Mother would take the test anyway, and answer for him. Needless to say, they failed test miserably, and she decided that she was unhappy from that moment on.


I find it remarkable that she was never aware that she was unhappy until the womens magazines told her that she was.


I see similar things in all of my friends, and families relationships, and I recognize that I want to play no part in this insanity.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Rick SP, and Bishop, I think its wonderful that you are happy with your choice, and your life, but that does not change my story in any way, as I don't really know either of you, only your online personna's. I was speaking of things that I can observe in person, and niether of you fit that criteria

[bishop]

where did you say what you observe in a person? i missed that.

[Milton Bradley]

I thought that was implied by the statement "in my experience", or "that I know".

[RickSp]

Quote by: Milton Bradley Rick SP, and Bishop, I think its wonderful that you are happy with your choice, and your life, but that does not change my story in any way, as I don't really know either of you, only your online personna's. I was speaking of things that I can observe in person, and niehter of you fit that criteria

I was responding to your comment:

I forgot to mention the fact that I do not know one soul that is involved with a Cacausian female who does not complain about that fact constantly, or claim to be happy about their relationship. Not one, straight, or gay.

I know lots of happily or reasonably happy married couples. I have no knowledge of your friends or their relationships.

Bishop, I agree a good woman isn't easy to find, and as my wife reminds me, so is a good man.

[PatrickHenry]

Marrying foreign women is an honorable American custom. Ordering a bride from the matchmaker or from a picture is also not uncustomary. Why do you find fault, tinybear? Are you living in Asia and haven't been chosen yet? Maybe it is sour grapes...

I have a number of men friends here in Hawaii who have married Filipina women from the PI. Their marriages seem normal by local standards and mixed race families are a blessing. I don't know personally of any severe abuse or "ugly" or hopeless men who were willing to settle for "second best". The Filipinas are good people, not all pretty, but not toads either. I am happy for these couples, because they seem to be happy with each other.

[tinybear]

How many of such couples have you seen? I've seen many British men with Filipina wives in Hong Kong. The men are happy. Too bad I can't say the same for the women. They get treated like housemaids.

Basically, mail ordering something means buying it. You own it and expect it to serve you.

[prettyredhead]

IMO It is true that many foreign brides are looking for you to make them a citizen. WHy else would they marry a total stranger? Lack of men in Europe? Pah!! No, stupid, its the card. Not your manly masculinity...LoL
Yes, many Russian and European men I would bed in a second. They grow them bigger over there. .. .haha. And the cute little accents.
But, hey buy a bride, and let your peers and family snicker and poke fun at your lack of cahooona's when it comes to a little American rejection. Then, when you find her under your best friend, then you can laugh at your own stupidity. American women generally have no other motive to marry you than money. Or security. That frightens you to not be needed.
Would you rather have a woman whom you are sure is marrying you for reasons other than money or a citizenship? How sad. How pathetic.
Who doesnt want to come to America? Peeeeeze meeester taka me home witha you!!!!Peeeze.

[Samildanach]

American women generally have no other motive to marry you than money. Or security. That frightens you to not be needed.

Actually no its not frightening at all. However it does automatically disqualify them. Men want to love and be loved regardless of how much money they make, its not about being needed, they want a person that would choose to be with them if they had nothing at all. Gold diggers are just about the most despicable people around. they basically trade security/money for acting as though they love the person. If the person runs out of cash they say goodbye. So how much do I need a person like that....about as much as I need a hole in the head.

[tinybear]

Quote by: prettyredhead IMO It is true that many foreign brides are looking for you to make them a citizen. WHy else would they marry a total stranger? Lack of men in Europe? Pah!! No, stupid, its the card. Not your manly masculinity...LoL Yes, many Russian and European men I would bed in a second. They grow them bigger over there. .. .haha. And the cute little accents. But, hey buy a bride, and let your peers and family snicker and poke fun at your lack of cahooona's when it comes to a little American rejection. Then, when you find her under your best friend, then you can laugh at your own stupidity. American women generally have no other motive to marry you than money. Or security. That frightens you to not be needed. Would you rather have a woman whom you are sure is marrying you for reasons other than money or a citizenship? How sad. How pathetic. Who doesnt want to come to America? Peeeeeze meeester taka me home witha you!!!!Peeeze.

American brides can be gold diggers too, you know.

[Samildanach]

I wonder if I could order blonde Ukranian twins from Europe and get a two for one deal

[Nono]

Mail-Order may have the rational edge on Romantic-Russian-Roulette. The former works more often than one would think.

Just remember that when you marry somebody from another culture you are, in a sense, marrying that person's culture (whether you realize it yet or not). Am specifically thinking of my Italian mother-in-law...

[SVMc]

I think there are a number of interesteing social ideals at work here. My first question is why should an American woman expect to marry an American man? My partner and I are not the same nationality... does this make our relationship inferior... I don't think so.

Also, I have not heard of any significant raise in men using mail order brides.... the only difference may be the location. One little known fact is that mail order brides were quite common in Canada between rural and urban areas as little as a century ago. I also have not heard of any significant numbers of women complaining about abuse of mail order brides.

I may be able to step back from the picture and look at one case. Many years ago a friend of my parents who was around 60 at the time married a young woman from China who was 27. I remember being shocked when I heard the news (I was 24 at the time) she had been married when they met, he bought her husbands family an extention and second dining room on the restaurant they owned and essentially purchased her from them. It really sounded like a worse case scenario, when we finally met them we found out that she had entered into the marriage as a business contract. She wasn't in love with him and he with her... but she wanted to be taken care of financially and he (quite frankly)wanted a trophy wife. The interesting thing is that despite not being in love, they were quite happy together, and good friends. To this day I'm not sure what to make of this marriage except that it is what suited both of the people involved, and they both entered into it in free will, ergo, it's really none of my business.

[Nono]

SVMc, have you read the novel "Getting Married In Buffalo Jump", by Susan Haley? Not unsimilar.

An Indian friend of mine insists that arranged marriages work better than our system of "romantic love".

The thing is that if there is a high degree of clarity before the knot is tied, the thing probably stands a better chance. Affection grows through shared hardship, etc. Whereas if you have your head stuffed with all that romantic nonsense (i.e. all the ideals nobody can live up to) then you have a lot of pre-erected barriers to overcome in addition to everything else.

Who knows?