Parental Punishment

[Dolly]

You can't legally restrain another adult either. It's at minimum a battery.

[Muckraker]

You can't legally send another adult to the 'naughty corner' either. That's called false imprisonment.

You got me on that one. I'll have to concede that point.

Maybe I'll say that I'll only discipline my own child in a manner that I would feel comfortable disciplining someone else's child.

I don't see the value of corporal punishment because we are teaching children a problem-solving method that is basic, crude, and is only applicable in real life when you have your own children; because if you attempt to use those strategies on other adults or other people's children you will be jailed.

[Angry Citizen]

Maybe I'll say that I'll only discipline my own child in a manner that I would feel comfortable disciplining someone else's child.

That's fair. Besides, that's your decision. Some people raise their kids free of corporal punishment. That's your right.

I don't see the value of corporal punishment because we are teaching children a problem-solving method that is basic, crude, and is only applicable in real life when you have your own children; because if you attempt to use those strategies on other adults or other people's children you will be jailed.

It's not a problem solving method. It's a disciplinary method intended to elicit behavioral changes. As the child ages and becomes more one's intellectual equal, one would become more willing to sit and discuss the ramifications of their actions, and punish using more advanced techniques. Frankly, I just don't believe children are capable of linking a behavior with a detailed, extended punishment like grounding or confinement. They're not even able to do multiplication yet, and we expect them to remember what they did wrong a week ago to get their favorite toy taken away? Hardly.

[ensayne]

It's not a problem solving method. It's a disciplinary method intended to elicit behavioral changes. As the child ages and becomes more one's intellectual equal, one would become more willing to sit and discuss the ramifications of their actions, and punish using more advanced techniques. Frankly, I just don't believe children are capable of linking a behavior with a detailed, extended punishment like grounding or confinement. They're not even able to do multiplication yet, and we expect them to remember what they did wrong a week ago to get their favorite toy taken away? Hardly.

It is important to remember the distinction between intent and the true consequences of one's actions. If the intent is to elicit behavioral changes and this does not occur with corporal punishment, then your argument is weakened. Your contention begs for supporting evidence.

[mbc85]

You got me on that one. I'll have to concede that point.

Maybe I'll say that I'll only discipline my own child in a manner that I would feel comfortable disciplining someone else's child.

you are raising your kid, not someone else'.

I don't see the value of corporal punishment because we are teaching children a problem-solving method that is basic, crude, and is only applicable in real life when you have your own children; because if you attempt to use those strategies on other adults or other people's children you will be jailed.

Why would you want to discipline some one else' children aside from your own?

[Tycoon]

What rights does a parent hold when it comes to punishing their child? Do you agree with "spanking" or other traditional forms of punishment or "parental privilege"? At what point is punishment excessive?

In my opinion, overly restricting the rights of a parent to raise their child the way they see fit would only render them unable to do their job. There has to be good reason for the government to interfere on the child's/children's behalf.

However, I do personally disagree with any form of physical punishment, even simple spanking. Spanking and other forms of physical punishment teach children that problems cannot be resolved without physical force, and studies have proven that children who are spanked are more likely to beat up their spouses or end up divorcing.

[Angry Citizen]

In my opinion, overly restricting the rights of a parent to raise their child the way they see fit would only render them unable to do their job. There has to be good reason for the government to interfere on the child's/children's behalf.

However, I do personally disagree with any form of physical punishment, even simple spanking. Spanking and other forms of physical punishment teach children that problems cannot be resolved without physical force, and studies have proven that children who are spanked are more likely to beat up their spouses or end up divorcing.

I'm intrigued. Proof please.

[ensayne]

In my opinion, overly restricting the rights of a parent to raise their child the way they see fit would only render them unable to do their job. There has to be good reason for the government to interfere on the child's/children's behalf.

However, I do personally disagree with any form of physical punishment, even simple spanking. Spanking and other forms of physical punishment teach children that problems cannot be resolved without physical force, and studies have proven that children who are spanked are more likely to beat up their spouses or end up divorcing.

From what I've been reading, I haven't found a definitive study yet. Most studies seem to focus on harsh punishment or verbal punishment exclusively but fail to control for parental warmth and thus fail to convince me.

In any case, corporal punishment does seem to lead to a higher prevalence of psychological issues. In reading a recent paper, the researchers found that
"more than a third (35%) CP starts as an infant." While usually the authors of papers try to remain as objective as possible in their reports, it seems the statistics brought out underlying judgement...

"Our informal observation suggests that CP of infants is typically a slap on the hand for something such as pushing food off a tray or touching something
forbidden. Although this is not a severe form of CP, the fact that over a third of a nationally representative sample of parents hit infants in any way is a startling
and sad characteristic of American patterns of child rearing, and one that, in our opinion, needs immediate attention."

As expected, AC, the majority of CP occurs during the toddler years. Not much can be made of it, simply because it doesn't involve dimensions of explanation of the punishment, which you would supposedly do.

[DavidSupreme]

This thread worries me for several reasons, I seen some members post some things I would consider awful and my personal view is that they should not be allowed to have children or raise children, others have posted things that just makes me worried, Dolly's post have done such things and made me want to simple interject and post my opinions and want to hear your view on this.

I take the raising of children very important and would consider some points VITAL and basic RIGHTS for innocent children and to make sure they have a chance for a good future, this includes:

1. Not Indoctrinate them into religious beliefs such as Christianity and Islam
2. Letting them MAKE MISTAKES and LEARN from it and simple provide explanations where needed for WHY it is "bad" (and making the SUBJECTIVE/ARBITRARY reasons for it CLEAR).
3. NOT controlling them in their choices such as forcing them to wear specific clothes, telling them what to eat, preventing them from making mistakes (LET THEM MAKE THE MISTAKES), Lying to them (telling them gods/santa/grandma is around, etc, you know the deal).

These are just a few examples what I see people do that both destroys the childs future by planting harmful seeds that may (or may not) make them do bad choices in life.

[Angry Citizen]

1. Not Indoctrinate them into religious beliefs such as Christianity and Islam
2. Letting them MAKE MISTAKES and LEARN from it and simple provide explanations where needed for WHY it is "bad" (and making the SUBJECTIVE/ARBITRARY reasons for it CLEAR).
3. NOT controlling them in their choices such as forcing them to wear specific clothes, telling them what to eat, preventing them from making mistakes (LET THEM MAKE THE MISTAKES), Lying to them (telling them gods/santa/grandma is around, etc, you know the deal).

Agree fully.

[ensayne]

This thread worries me for several reasons, I seen some members post some things I would consider awful and my personal view is that they should not be allowed to have children or raise children, others have posted things that just makes me worried, Dolly's post have done such things and made me want to simple interject and post my opinions and want to hear your view on this.

What worries me, in the context of punishment, is that people act according to what they think and not what they know, without any supporting evidence of their beliefs. This is magnified x10000000 when it comes to the development of their own child, something which I think deserves their interest, moreover it should cross political and religious divides which is why I brought it up.

I take the raising of children very important and would consider some points VITAL and basic RIGHTS for innocent children and to make sure they have a chance for a good future, this includes:

1. Not Indoctrinate them into religious beliefs such as Christianity and Islam.

Unless there is a correlation between the religion of the parents and the punishment, I refuse to believe this is relevant to the thread entitled "Parental Punishment." Feel free to start your own thread on "How to raise the ultimate child." I fully disagree with the idea, they should be raised with an understanding of the 3 major religions, starting in the 1st grade and their history both good and bad.

These are just a few examples what I see people do that both destroys the childs future by planting harmful seeds that may (or may not) make them do bad choices in life.

This sentence makes no sense, if it "may (or may not)" make them do bad choices, then it doesn't definitively destroy the child's future.

[Buzz62]

I'm not sure if it is correct in saying that they "understand" corporal, or physical, punishment. Certainally they understand that they are being hurt, but I wouldn't say they comprehend WHY something was wrong other than the fear of that very pain.

I would suggest that it is never okay to intentionally harm a child whether it be smacking the bottom or the face. Are we really prepared to make claims that it is our right to harm them simply because we brought them into the world?

From what I understand about different parental techniques it seems probable that letting the natural consequences play themselves out is much more effective than instilling a child with fear. Other parents on this forum might be able to elaborate further on this subject.


Perhaps, I would suggest, if a child was raping anyone then the so called parents weren't doing a very good job to begin with wouldn't you agree?

You don't have any kids, do you?

I have 3.
1 will be 14 in 3 weeks and the twins are 9.
I have spanked my 13 yr old daughter ONCE.
It worked well as I have never had to strike her ever again.

I have spanked the boys a few times.
That too works...though not as well as it did with the girl...and they know what is on and what is not.

On the other hand, the kids have several friends who's parents do not believe in spanking. Generally you can identify these kids right away, as they don't seem to have any manners, nor do they seem to understand the concept of respect.
One of 'em is a very close friend of my daughter's who now has the distinction of being the youngest HS drop-out I've ever known at 15. Her parents think forcing her to attend school would be a bad idea...go figure...