A modest dog-flavored proposal

[Thanatos]

I have the right to eat live puppies in public. They are high in protein, fresher than what you get in the store, and I need them for lunch at my job because a salami sandwich wouldn't survive that long unrefrigerated. I'm just a working class stiff who wants to eat lunch and enjoy the sunshine. You know they eat dogs in Vietnam all the time; this is America and who are you to impose your cultural standards on me?

Its a slippery slope we do not want the government sliding down; if they ban puppy eating then they might ban eating durians in public, or try to force us all to be vegetarians because eating meat is cruel. Then they'll shut down all the Honey Dew Donut shops for encouraging unhealthy eating habits. Giving the government the right to control your eating habits is just a bad idea.

And why am I more in trouble for doing it in public? Would it really be any better if I ate them in my basement lair instead of the middle of the park?

((your turn. Invent an off the wall imaginary right and do your best to defend it))

[JaneDoe321]

Uhh... durians SHOULD be banned in public. That smell is a public health hazard!

[Anmon]

I should be allowed to shoot any criminal that breaks into my home, and be commended privately and publically for it.

[gallo]

Quote by: Anmon I should be allowed to shoot any criminal that breaks into my home, and be commended privately and publically for it.

Certainly. You must live in Texas where that is the case.

[Thanatos]

Quote by: JaneDoe321 Uhh... durians SHOULD be banned in public. That smell is a public health hazard!

But...its deliciously creamy. Also, it doesn't scream like a puppy and so can't violate public noise ordinances.

For those unfamiliar with the issue, a durian is a green spiky fruit that tastes like heaven and smells like an outhouse full of decomposing skunks in a tropical climate, with a hint of really sweaty feet. This exceedingly potent fruit has been used on Fear Factor and it really is illegal to eat them in public in some places.

[SoylentGreen]

[b]Anmon[/B ]I should be allowed to shoot any criminal that breaks into my home, and be commended privately and publically for it.

As every person should be commended privately and publicly for defending themselves against an attack, no matter where or when.
Good luck getting of the first shot.

But...its deliciously creamy. Also, it doesn't scream like a puppy and so can't violate public noise ordinances.

Sounds good , but if you were a real working class stiff eating lunch on the run then you just can't beat rat on a stick. Easy convenient and less messy, Especially when deep fried and crumbed. And there more available in large american cities than puppies.

[Jack]

Soylent, you of all people should have endorsed the right to eat people. Not living people, of course, but the recently dead. Meat's meat. I'm sure in the end it all tastes like chicken. If no one objects to the idea of being consumed after death, and those doing the consuming have no objection, who is anyone else to tell them they can't engage in cannibalism?

[Anmon]

Quote by: gallo Certainly. You must live in Texas where that is the case.

texas has the right idea, any criminal or person that breaks into a persons home doesn't deserve to live for the complete lack of respect alone.

[Anmon]

Quote by: SoylentGreen As every person should be commended privately and publicly for defending themselves against an attack, no matter where or when. Good luck getting of the first shot.

put the gun somewhere ready loaded, where you can get too it fast helps.

have a couple around, best place is the coffee table, and one under the bed.

[Matt]

Quote by: Jack Soylent, you of all people should have endorsed the right to eat people. Not living people, of course, but the recently dead. Meat's meat. I'm sure in the end it all tastes like chicken. If no one objects to the idea of being consumed after death, and those doing the consuming have no objection, who is anyone else to tell them they can't engage in cannibalism?

I'm up for it. Always good to vary your diet

[triad]

If someone's baby cries in the theater i should be able to throw their baby across the cinema. Or on a plane i should be able to use the scientific supreme-vacuum toilet to remove crying babies from the cabin.

They tell me I can't listen to my iPod because it may interfere with the pilots headsets and cause a loud-high frequency in their headsets. So I should be allowed to flush babies down toilets.


Ridiculous enough for you??


(100% against baby tossing, by the way)

[SoylentGreen]

Quote by: triad If someone's baby cries in the theater i should be able to throw their baby across the cinema. Or on a plane i should be able to use the scientific supreme-vacuum toilet to remove crying babies from the cabin. They tell me I can't listen to my iPod because it may interfere with the pilots headsets and cause a loud-high frequency in their headsets. So I should be allowed to flush babies down toilets. Ridiculous enough for you?? (100% against baby tossing, by the way)

It certainly is ridiculous.
Not only off topic but inconsistent with the topic as well.
So far no one but you has said anything about interfering with other people's jobs or lives through eating. Nor has anyone but you been suggesting that other lives should be brutally murdered for the pleasure of consumption. Although I do hear that beating a dog to death does give an adrenaline rush that leaves a nice flavour in the meat. Possibly why New Guinea cannibals chose to torture their meal to death.

[gallo]

Quote by: Anmon texas has the right idea, any criminal or person that breaks into a persons home doesn't deserve to live for the complete lack of respect alone.

Indeed. But as far as I know, you aren't allowed to eat the intruder.

[Anmon]

Quote by: gallo Indeed. But as far as I know, you aren't allowed to eat the intruder.

I don't see why not, their just dead meat

[Anmon]

=triad;503746]If someone's baby cries in the theater i should be able to throw their baby across the cinema. Or on a plane i should be able to use the scientific supreme-vacuum toilet to remove crying babies from the cabin.

Ive done that once with a guys mobile phone, I made sure it hit the screen too, there were cheers and claps.

[Thanatos]

Quote by: Anmon I don't see why not, their just dead meat

I'd never eat an American. We're fat and squishy and full of weird chemicals.

[Chancellor]

Quote by: Thanatos I have the right to eat live puppies in public. They are high in protein, fresher than what you get in the store, and I need them for lunch at my job because a salami sandwich wouldn't survive that long unrefrigerated. I'm just a working class stiff who wants to eat lunch and enjoy the sunshine. You know they eat dogs in Vietnam all the time; this is America and who are you to impose your cultural standards on me? Its a slippery slope we do not want the government sliding down; if they ban puppy eating then they might ban eating durians in public, or try to force us all to be vegetarians because eating meat is cruel. Then they'll shut down all the Honey Dew Donut shops for encouraging unhealthy eating habits. Giving the government the right to control your eating habits is just a bad idea. And why am I more in trouble for doing it in public? Would it really be any better if I ate them in my basement lair instead of the middle of the park? ((your turn. Invent an off the wall imaginary right and do your best to defend it))

I'm not sure about doing it in public but if you want to eat puppies in the privacy of your own home, that's your business.

[SoylentGreen]

Quote by: Chancellor I'm not sure about doing it in public but if you want to eat puppies in the privacy of your own home, that's your business.

That's the point of the thread. I think my rat on a stick idea has real potential in some of those big cities, good supply and hopefully lots of demand. But then along comes squeamish lot like you and I can't do business.

[Anmon]

Quote by: Thanatos I'd never eat an American. We're fat and squishy and full of weird chemicals.

point taken, if its an American he or she can get put through a mincer, for the local neighbor hood cats.

[Derek Wolff]

That would be considered animal cruelty if you go out and purchase a puppy to eat. Maybe if some one is nuts enough to begin selling dog meat you can have your puppy. Good luck finding some one that sells it, I doubt it will get enough costumers to stay afloat.