If Rape Were Legal...

[nine steps]

Imagine a world . . .

Imagine a world where rape is legal. Perhaps even a world where, for some, rape is a rite of passage amounting to proof a man can assert control over his own destiny. Some who have already completed that rite of passage may even encourage others to do so, both as a means to validate their own actions and to consolidate the practice.

Imagine the victim of that rape, knowing she has been violated, being bewildered, hurt to the core, and convinced by any reasonable moral standard that it was wrong, trying to find justice and appropriate consequences for the perpetrator. At first she is treated with bemusement that she should have such temerity. Then the excuses, the brush-offs begin, "I'm sure he felt he was doing the right thing", "You must have done something to deserve it", "You shouldn't have been in the wrong place at the wrong time", "I've heard that you're up for it pretty much whenever", "He says you were asking for it", "He must have really raped you good- HAHAHA!" If you're lucky, you get: "Most men aren't like that."

It would be no surprise that most of these apologists are men, most women simply turn their backs, but an astonishingly large fraction are happy to back up the men. It must be sickening.

If you persist, the accusations start: "Why do you have such a problem with men?", "There's obviously something wrong with you", "You have to face up to your own behavior, you can't hope to get better if you don't".

You know that to concede any of this will destroy you completely, both from within and by validating this twisted logic for others. So you keep going. Then they say you're obviously a danger to yourself and to others, and they're taking your children away to make sure you can't hurt them. They might even give the children to your rapist. Then, devastated and unable to function you get fired, then get into trouble because you can't pay the man who took your children. Because you were raped. Because he raped you. Suddenly, everything that matters is taken from you because of something that someone else did to you.

This is what it is like for men who are removed from their family home by false accusations of abuse, perhaps by a wife who has been abusive herself for years, but you took it because, well, you're not sure why anymore. It's a rite of passage now, for the self-assertive woman, to rid herself of a man she's decided is 'holding her back' and her divorced friends will happily help her build a case, from raw cloth if necessary. Any regrets will just fuel the fire.

Don't tell me it's not like rape until you've lived through having your world turned upside down, your reputation questioned by anyone who feels like it, taken from and kept from everything you care about by the one person who was supposed to stand by you.

You know it is wrong, but no-one will listen. They apologize for the mother, excusing her actions by arguing that she must feel you are a threat, that you must have done something to deserve it, that it's your tough luck for marrying the wrong woman. It’s all your fault, after all. Idiotically, they ask: "Why would she lie?" But you know it's not true, it's patently ridiculous, isn't it? So you argue.

Most of the people with the power to help, but won't, will be women, but, confusingly, some of them will be men, although most men will just look at you strangely and change the subject when you ask them to try to see it your way, that you have to do something.

Keep going, and they'll judge you to have a problem with women. "Why are you such a misogynist?" they'll ask, "What’s wrong with you, that you can't admit to what you've done wrong". Try to cut a deal, try to bargain an admission of something you know you didn't do to get a little mercy, and all mercy will evaporate, you've just sacrificed yourself on the altar they constructed.

But it wouldn't matter anyway because it's a Catch-22. If you won't admit to the accusations then you're in denial and therefore a danger to your wife and kids.You have to be kept from them. Fighting that just proves their point (so does giving in). They're taking your children from you and giving them to the women who did this to you. Then they make you pay. And God help you if you break down and can't keep your job. Everything that matters is taken from you because of something that someone else did to you. That's what it's like, there's no need for imagination, it's out there, right here, right now. Rape is legal, if you're a man and divorce is the tool used to violate.

[Chaossaber314]

Wow, dude. Excellent post.

You should hit me up in PM. I have some stories I think you'd find interesting.

[nine steps]

What is PM?

[Jack]

PM=private/personal message.
Left click on Chaossaber314's name and you should see an option to send an email or private message.

[Brillonewt]

woah man, sounds like you have a personal grudge...... got me curious, if you dont mind me asking, if youve dealt with this situation personally before?

[triad]

Holy shit, I have never heard a story that put into such a sharp perspective. I know that the legal system favors women constantly, because for some reason women have the ability to change their emotions to suit the image they are trying to portray. All women can do this, only the f*cked up crazy ones use it in the manner mentioned in the OP. The worst part is, you can't tell they are crazy until it is too late.

[nine steps]

Quote by: Brillonewt woah man, sounds like you have a personal grudge...... got me curious, if you dont mind me asking, if youve dealt with this situation personally before?

You've got me curious.. if you don't mind me asking, are you a pickpocket? Specifically the type that walks up to someone and points somewhere in front of them and shouts out, "what's that?!?" while you take their wallet out of their back pocket? I mean since you're sleazy and dishonest enough to try to sidestep the subject because you are not intelligent enough to discuss the actual topic, by changing the subject to me, I have to assume you also have the low-life morality of a criminal as well.

[Jack]

Please read the forum rules. Debates on topic are encouraged. Personal, disparaging comments directed toward other members are not allowed. Let's keep this on topic or the thread will be closed.

DO NOT RESPOND IN THIS THREAD TO THE PRECEDING MESSAGE. Please contact a member of the staff privately if you have any questions.

[nine steps]

Quote by: triad All women can do this, only the f*cked up crazy ones use it in the manner mentioned in the OP. The worst part is, you can't tell they are crazy until it is too late.

Exactly. Women tend to be master actresses, therefore it is impossible to judge their actual character in the beginning.. which makes the situation even more insane for men. You also have to remember that women in the U.S. today have absolutely zero respect for men in general (they are taught to spit and laugh at men and just take them for granted like ATM machines with a penis from the time they are born by school, TV, and everyone they know) and have their own completely seperate culture with it's own kooky, psychotic, up is down morality, victimhood, and complete unaccountability for anything ever under any and all circumstances. Example: In a survey regarding the Andrea Yates case (drowned all five of her children), most women actually said that it was husband's fault for leaving her at home with the children.

[Nono]

Quote by: steps Imagine the victim of that rape, knowing she has been violated...

Why she?

[phoenix_fire]

From what I've observed, people tend to take advantage of other people whenever possible, regardless of gender. If you want an interesting counterpoint to the tirade in the OP, try

[HelioPrime]

Quote by: phoenix_fire From what I've observed, people tend to take advantage of other people whenever possible, regardless of gender. If you want an interesting counterpoint to the tirade in the OP, try

Anyone ever ask you if you were expecting when you read that?

[Maryjane]

Anger can motivate you or it can destroy you. From the looks of things, the bitterness is eating you alive. Why let it get the best of you? It's already colored your perception that all women are shit. That's simply not true. It's not fair to lash out at people because you are hurt, especially if they aren't the ones that caused your pain. It's no wonder people are ambivilant to your complaints.

[phoenix_fire]

Quote by: HelioPrime Anyone ever ask you if you were expecting when you read that?

No, you would be the first. Are you trying to give me a Mary complex?

It was for a class.

[nine steps]

Quote by: Maryjane Anger can motivate you or it can destroy you. From the looks of things, the bitterness is eating you alive. Why let it get the best of you? It's already colored your perception that all women are shit. That's simply not true. It's not fair to lash out at people because you are hurt, especially if they aren't the ones that caused your pain. It's no wonder people are ambivilant to your complaints.

WOW!

1) I'm not angry.

2) I'm not bitter.

3) Who said 'it' was 'getting the best of me?'

4)I don't think 'all women are shit.' Read the article again- (maybe the topic is too complex for you to understand though)

5) I'm not 'lashing out.'

6) If anyone is 'ambivilant to my complaints' I don't even care.

You are doing a whole lot of projecting onto me. I do not think anything like you (obviously). When you make assumtions, you make an ass out of yourself.

In your next post, make a comment on the actual subject instead of trying to subject me to your 3 penny psychoanalysis that is offensive and condescending and plain rude.. you'll find it's refreshing.

[nine steps]

Quote by: phoenix_fire From what I've observed, people tend to take advantage of other people whenever possible, regardless of gender. If you want an interesting counterpoint to the tirade in the OP, try

That is true. One problem though; when men take advantage of women it's called 'rape' or 'domestic violence' or 'fraud.'

When take advantage of men, it's called 'Wednesday afternoon.'
(Or just another day, or business as usual, or the system) You have a long, long way to go in understanding how our two-tier social and legal system operates.

[phoenix_fire]

Quote by: nine steps That is true. One problem though; when men take advantage of women it's called 'rape' or 'domestic violence' or 'fraud.' When take advantage of men, it's called 'Wednesday afternoon.' (Or just another day, or business as usual, or the system) You have a long, long way to go in understanding how our two-tier social and legal system operates.

Considering the brevity of my post, I would have to say that you are now the one making assumptions upon my understanding.

Men can take advantage of women in totally legal ways. Both have nearly symmetrical extremes. The abuse does not have to leave a mark.

[nine steps]

Quote by: phoenix_fire Considering the brevity of my post, I would have to say that you are now the one making assumptions upon my understanding..

'Brevity' doesn't have anything to do with it. You're naive in that Sesame Street kind of way. (It's the other kind of 'street' smarts- lol).

"Men can take advantage of women in totally legal ways."

Examples please.

[phoenix_fire]

Quote by: nine steps 'Brevity' doesn't have anything to do with it. You're naive in that Sesame Street kind of way. (It's the other kind of 'street' smarts- lol). "Men can take advantage of women in totally legal ways." Examples please.

Of course it does. How you propose to have a reasonable grasp of my knowledge of the entire "social and legal system" based on just a couple of sentences that really didn't mention either is beyond credulity.

If, for instance, the wife came into the relationship with more money and there was no pre-nup, the husband is entitled to half in many states.

Psychological abuse and subjugation.

Society usually dictates that the wife has to be the one to care for the household and children. In many cases, that means that the wife has to give up her job, experience, promotion potential, wages, and self actualization while the husband is not required to make any sacrifice. It is common amongst law students seeking employment for young men to borrow wedding bands and for young women to hide theirs. Why do you think that is? Marriage makes men seem more stable and women less reliable.

Do the math. In states where the family assets are divided up the middle between the wife and the husband, if the wife gets the kids, then her portion suddenly becomes a lot smaller after being divided up between herself and the children. And she gets to start from scratch on the job hunt with no one to care for the children. Meanwhile, the hubbie is off on a beach somewhere chatting it up with a newer model.

Infidelity usually has a far steeper consequence for the woman than it does for the man.

[nine steps]

Quote by: phoenix_fire Of course it does. How you propose to have a reasonable grasp of my knowledge of the entire "social and legal system" based on just a couple of sentences that really didn't mention either is beyond credulity. If, for instance, the wife came into the relationship with more money and there was no pre-nup, the husband is entitled to half in many states. Psychological abuse and subjugation. Society usually dictates that the wife has to be the one to care for the household and children. In many cases, that means that the wife has to give up her job, experience, promotion potential, wages, and self actualization while the husband is not required to make any sacrifice. It is common amongst law students seeking employment for young men to borrow wedding bands and for young women to hide theirs. Why do you think that is? Marriage makes men seem more stable and women less reliable. Do the math. In states where the family assets are divided up the middle between the wife and the husband, if the wife gets the kids, then her portion suddenly becomes a lot smaller after being divided up between herself and the children. And she gets to start from scratch on the job hunt with no one to care for the children. Meanwhile, the hubbie is off on a beach somewhere chatting it up with a newer model. Infidelity usually has a far steeper consequence for the woman than it does for the man.

That's very interesting. Here on Earth though, in today's divorce court, [i]anything[i] a man does can be construed as 'abuse,' from a cold stare, to a disagreement, a criticism, or stopping her from blowing all the money at the mall, then used as leverage in divorce court. The man has no rights in the marriage at all. Try living your life as a man in the U.S., then get back to me and let me know how it goes.