Why can't Conservatives be funny?

[sdbest]

In another post, I wondered--thanks to a point made by John Stuart Mill--why stupid people tend to be Conservatives. That topic was locked by the moderator. I'm not sure if that goes in the win or loss column. Ah well!

The question now is why can't Conservatives be funny? This important social observation has been raised by Ellis Weiner over at The Huffington Post.

It's one thing being stupid, but of lack humor? That's intolerable.

I have managed to find a Conservative joke, told by John McCain no less,

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because her father is Janet Reno. [Source]

See, Conservatives can't be funny.

Regards
S.

[Mr.Vicchio]

Are you joking?

Dennis Miller, hilarious, Rush is hilarious, so is Sean when he' in the mood. Ever listen to Glenn Beck? Ben Stiller anyone?

The real question is, why can't Liberals do talk radio, now THAT's a debatable question, your question is just too easy to slam.

[sdbest]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Are you joking? Dennis Miller, hilarious, Rush is hilarious, so is Sean when he' in the mood. Ever listen to Glenn Beck? Ben Stiller anyone?

Ben Stiller's a democrat, not a conservative. I agree Rush is a joke, as are Sean, and Glenn Beck. As for Dennis Miller, here's some samples--and none of them are funny,

"If you want somebody to repair your roads, educate your kids, or purify your water supply, you may want to turn to private enterprise, but if you want massive f***loads of your enemies wiped out in record time, Uncle Sam is the man for you."

"The French, you might as well gas up the dinghy and go fishing with Fredo because you are dead to me, okay. You know something? These pricks are now putting -- they're putting swastikas on our flag in France. You've got all those boys buried in Normandy. And after we had the good taste to chisel the armpit hair off the Statue of Liberty you gave us, you know something, I always thought that tint was oxidized copper. Little did I know it was green with envy."

"Listen, I would call the French scum bags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac."

"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

"I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment."

"As for what many are calling racial profiling in the aftermath of September 11th, well, get ready to be pissed off, you ACLU-F***ing-Morons, we're dealing with a massive threat and limited manpower, so, you want them to check everybody out equally? Sure, fine okay, but let's at least compromise and put the Swedish dwarf a little further down the list than the Iraqi explosives expert carrying a Belgian passport with more eraser marks on it than Kid Rock's trig final."

"There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference."

"The simple fact is, you've got to view this war like we've been on a long family car ride. Bush is the father and he's been screaming 'don't make me come back there!' for around 200 miles now and it just reached the point where we had to pull the car over and the bad kid is going to get the spanking of his life."

"Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong."

"I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass."

See what I mean. Conservatives don't do funny.

Regards
S.

[Mr.Vicchio]

Sorry, typed that fast, Ben STIEN, my mistake.

[sdbest]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Sorry, typed that fast, Ben STIEN, my mistake.

No problem. However, I just read some of Ben Stein's columns and none of them appear to be funny. Can you point me to some Ben Stein humor?


Regards
S.

[Mr.Vicchio]

Bueller.... Bueller...

Ring anybells?

How about "Win Ben Stein's Money?"

BTW I know you like to slam on Rush and Sean... how big are their audiences again? How much money do they make? Yeah.

[lsbskins1]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Bueller.... Bueller... Ring anybells? How about "Win Ben Stein's Money?" BTW I know you like to slam on Rush and Sean... how big are their audiences again? How much money do they make? Yeah.

Well, you see, progressives can think for themselves. They search for many sources of information in an attempt to gather many perspectives and fact check. They do not need to have the answers given to them by a voice from the air. In fact, they are uncomfortable with the very concept. Don't Rush's fans proudly proclaim themselves "Dittoheads"? Proudly!

"Sean, Rush tell me how to live. I do not like having to think for myself. Speak! I will say it...Ditto, Ditto, Ditto!"

So, be proud that a significant portion of the country needs people to tell them what to think, goes to the well often and is fiercly loyal to a world view, no matter how many facts contradict that world view. Be proud of that. I will continue down the path I have chosen. I prefer checking varied sources, and allowing a fact or two to guide my opinions. If that means that those like me spread the ratings points around and refuse to follow the herd like an unthinking blob, that is the price we pay.

[Mr.Vicchio]

Rofl, Liberals live off emotions and delude themselves into thinking they are self thinkers. They also believe that Talk Radio is a marching orders session when it's in reality a discussion or information...

Maybe that's why air America failed so badly? Radio is about ideas, and liberal emotionalism fails miserably in such an environment while ideas and insightful humor flourish.

[lsbskins1]

It seems you assume I have never heard the Rush show or Hannity. I live in conservative land. I listen to them on the waay to lunch and on the way home. I know what they say. No discussions at all. They say, you listen. They take questions, if you ask "How did you get so smart, (insert name of host)", they talk to you for 2 or three minutes, praising your brains and offering to send you free stuff. If you ask "Why are gas prices so high?" They say something like "Market forces, dummy!" and hang up. A real prime example of back and forth exploration of issues, that! Please!

[lsbskins1]

Radio is not about issues, it's about selling ad time. Issues take more time to flesh out than the marketing dept gives you between ads for shampoo and Viagra.

[Mr.Vicchio]

Well, I'll just point to market successes and failures to counter you.

Rush, Sean and Glenn, successful with huge audiences.

Air America, complete, and utter failure.

Conservatives win.

[rez]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Rofl, Liberals live off emotions and delude themselves into thinking they are self thinkers. They also believe that Talk Radio is a marching orders session when it's in reality a discussion or information... Maybe that's why air America failed so badly? Radio is about ideas, and liberal emotionalism fails miserably in such an environment while ideas and insightful humor flourish.

Like what lsbskins1 said -- Radio is about ads (same with T.V.)

If you want to have a discussion of information, go to school or go to a book store.

The problem with conservatives is the fact that they don't like school or book stores because they are "liberal". Basically, anybody that critically thinks is a liberal.

[rez]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Well, I'll just point to market successes and failures to counter you. Rush, Sean and Glenn, successful with huge audiences. Air America, complete, and utter failure. Conservatives win.

No, thats not how it works. That mentality has been used throughout gradeschool and highschool.

[lsbskins1]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Well, I'll just point to market successes and failures to counter you. Rush, Sean and Glenn, successful with huge audiences. Air America, complete, and utter failure. Conservatives win.

That means they are successful at selling products, not that they are successful at illuminating issues. And if your audience does what they are told, rather than thinking for themselves, they will buy more of the products you hawk. So, what have you proven?

[lsbskins1]

As a side note, Beta was better than VHS, but it lost in the marketplace.

[The Sexorcist]

Great point.

Does anyone else sense that conservatives tend to cry "conspiracy!" whenever something from a legit institution comes out against a issue they hold dear? College campuses teach science that tends to favor the ideas of human-induced global warming and evolution? LEFT-WING CAMPUSES! The media reports of the misdeeds and illegal actions taken by the Bush Administration? LIBERAL MEDIA! Congress is trying to pull troops out of the disaster in Iraq? CORRUPT LIBERAL POLITCIANS USING HARDBALL TACTICS!

Seems like they can't deal with the fact that, maybe, just maybe, they could be wrong.

[Mr.Vicchio]

That's cause there is no such thing as human induced global warming, it's just a slogan to pass left wing social laws and control how people live.

What illegal actions by the Bush administration? Oh that's right, 600 investigations so far and Congress has been able to prove... nothing.


Sorry but you crack me, I guess liberals ARE funny with the written word.

[lsbskins1]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio That's cause there is no such thing as human induced global warming, it's just a slogan to pass left wing social laws and control how people live. What illegal actions by the Bush administration? Oh that's right, 600 investigations so far and Congress has been able to prove... nothing. Sorry but you crack me, I guess liberals ARE funny with the written word.

No such thing as human induced global warming, hey? Well, the body of evidence is clearly not what motivates your opinions. But we knew that because you belive that no-one in the Bush administation is guilty of anything. You crack me up. sdbest was "sort of" wrong. Conservatives are funny, but only in that campy, "I didn't mean to be funny but this is so over the top you have to laugh" kind of way.

[The Sexorcist]

Quote by: Mr.Vicchio Oh that's right, 600 investigations so far and Congress has been able to prove... nothing.

It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that the Administration has stonewalled any investigations into possible wrongdoings. No, it's because they're totally innocent. Riiiiight.

It cracks me up; these kind of people wouldn't believe Clinton if he told them the sky was blue, but they swallow anything that comes out of the Bush crowd as if God himself whispered it into their ear.

THE GOVERNMENT. IS. ALWAYS. LYING.

[LadiesMan217]

Well, I'll just point to market successes and failures to counter you. Rush, Sean and Glenn, successful with huge audiences. Air America, complete, and utter failure. Conservatives win.

If you want real talk radio then you gotta listen to Michael Savage. That is an enlightening and entertaining show.