Why Can't People Get Along?

[PhanthomOps]

[b]What is it that prevents us from either getting along with other people, or even attempting to??

Why is this so difficult??

IMHO we are all basically raised:
1) to respect others who are older
2) to respect the rights of others
3) to accept the differences such as race, color of skin, ethnic background, religion, etc
4) to share what you have with others less fortunate
5) to earn your way in life and to be proud of your accomplishments without lording it over others
6) to have moral values
7) to be honest
8) to have integrity
9) to advance in position without stabbing other people in the back
10) not to be so closed minded that you refuse to hear the other side
11) etc.

At the age of 63, and having been through quite a lot in my short life, I have my opinions, however, before posting them - I want to hear from you.

THIS THREAD HAS NO BOUNDRIES WHATSOEVER - IT GOES WHERE YOU WANT TO TAKE IT

[Mr.Vicchio]

People Suck. Start from there and move on.

Yesterday I was out with my GF and some asshats in a pick up truck called her a dork for wearing her birthday present.. a punisher tank top I bought her. Losers. Driving by in their pick up truck they shouted this. Why? What purpose did it serve? It made them feel big, manly and cool. People like that deserve to be removed from the gene pool because they add nothing good to it.

We can't get along because we are all dishonest. Dishonest in debate, dishonest in what we want, what we like, what we hate...

Some people use this to gain political or personal power, it feeds on itself. Those at the top make an enemy, get people to believe in this enemy, and reap the rewards of the followers... and it all goes down hill from there.

Its sad really.

People suck.

[Gorgo]

I get along with everyone. Where do you guys hang out? (0:

[dotcoma]

People suck.

I disagree. I think people rule.

[Pooeypants]

If we all got along in the world it would mean one thing; communism

We'd all look similar, have same ideals and moral values, we'd all wear same clothes and do similar jobs with similar pay.

No one would be counted as an individual. Thus the price we pay for being different to others is war and conflict.

[dotcoma]

If we all got along in the world it would mean one thing; communism

What?

[rhod01]

"have same ideals and moral values"

Bull! Hardly anyone condones sexual promiscuity, nor likes same-gender orientation and sex.

[Igotarock]

Mr. Vicchio,

What happened to your girlfriend really stinks. Punisher t-shirts are really cool, obviously their taste was in their a**.

PhanthomOps,

You live in NYC. You have 10 million people fighting for their square inch of overpriced real estate. To get to and from work people have to suffer the sardine can experience. Don't forget the 50-yard stare we all have living there to protect us from being bombarded. There are people there who fit your description, you just have to find them, in fact, I remember working with some of them.

In my opinion, I think it stems from how you are raised and the people you are exposed to in life. A good foundation stays with you no matter where you are or who you are dealing with.

[rmg]

One reason people don't get along is because we have different interests at different times in our lives. If we put evil intents aside for a minute, think of the different interests each of us has at different ages and under different situations. The average 21 year-old kid isn't going to care much about social security reform or mortgage rates, but s/he'd care much about student loan rates and availability. Similarly, we may be staunchly anti-abortion but reconsider that position if our 15 year-old daughter gets pregnant.
The more people in a given population, the more varied the interests and the more turbulent the fight for a happy or unhappy medium. This is why successful communes must necessarily remain small - it's harder and harder to get a greater number of people to agree on a majority of issues.

[PatrickHenry]

PhantomOps, you must have lived a sheltered life...
This is your experience with people?

IMHO we are all basically raised: 1) to respect others who are older 2) to respect the rights of others 3) to accept the differences such as race, color of skin, ethnic background, religion, etc 4) to share what you have with others less fortunate 5) to earn your way in life and to be proud of your accomplishments without lording it over others 6) to have moral values 7) to be honest 8) to have integrity 9) to advance in position without stabbing other people in the back 10) not to be so closed minded that you refuse to hear the other side

If this were true, we would get along. Since that is not the case, it's time for you to go back to the drawing board with your Pollyanna assumptions.

[syracusa]

I have days when I think people really SUCK (behave worse than animals who kill to surive). Humans intentionally keep others down (killing included) for their own personal advancement (not survival) which is an absolutely nasty thing to me.
...And then there are days when I think people are inherently good because most seem to have a conscience that manages to keep in check their most primal/animal instincts. You see them doing a great deal of good to others - at least some of them. This is something animals are not capable of and you cannot tell me it is not awe-inspiring when you see it at work.

In general, I am not a big fan of what happens in the jungle so when I hear the "it's only natural" argument to justify humans behaving like animals - I lose my patience. At the end of the day, I still dislike the lion when he kills the deer, so the lion sucks. At the same time I understand he needs to eat and that he cannot eat grains.

When it gets really bad for me is when humans get to behave even WORSE than animals. They are endowed by society with a conscience and yet they refuse to use it.

We don't get along because humans have also developed EGOS.

Animals have neither conscience nor ego.
If humans only used their conscience it would be an awesome world.
Unfortunately, most of the time I feel that the ego is much stronger than the conscience.

Every single evil in this world starts with the EGO. Hands down.

[PhanthomOps]

Mr.Vicchio:
Quote: "People Suck. Start from there and move on. And: We can't get along because we are all dishonest. Dishonest in debate, dishonest in what we want, what we like, what we hate..."

That's a pretty strong statement!!!

Gorgo:
Quote: "I get along with everyone. Where do you guys hang out? (0:"

Absolutely, positively, irrevocably everyone - where?????

Pooeypants:
Quote: "No one would be counted as an individual. Thus the price we pay for being different to others is war and conflict."

You mean that just because people could get along with each other they would lose their individually?? Hmmmmmm Interesting.

PatrickHenry:
Quote: "PhantomOps, you must have lived a sheltered life...This is your experience with people? And: "If this were true, we would get along. Since that is not the case, it's time for you to go back to the drawing board with your Pollyanna assumptions."

Let's see - sheltered?? - I was raised on 83rd Street and Columbus Avenue in Manhattan until the age of 15 when my parents moved to Astoria, Queens.
Manhattan first - we had 4 gangs at the time who were fighting turf wars and God help anyone who got in the way. Personally, I lost count of how many fights I had because I didn't do the gang-thing. The area was a mix of Italians, Irish, Germans and Puerto Ricans.
Queens: a little more spread out, but there were 3 gangs acting the same way as in Manhattan, I again lost count of the fights.

However, when I wasn't defending myself I tried to the best I could to do what my parents had taught me - those stated in my original post.

Pollyanna assumptions?? No in-as-much as this has never, is or will be a perfect world. Were you raised any differently??

Igotarock - rmg - syracusa:

Excellent points thank you!!! :) :)

[PatrickHenry]

Originally posted by PhanthomOps,+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (PhanthomOps,)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin-PatrickHenry, PhantomOps, you must have lived a sheltered life...This is your experience with people? ...If this were true, we would get along. Since that is not the case, it's time for you to go back to the drawing board with your Pollyanna assumptions.

Let's see - sheltered?? - I was raised on 83rd Street and Columbus Avenue in Manhattan until the age of 15 when my parents moved to Astoria, Queens.
Manhattan first - we had 4 gangs at the time who were fighting turf wars and God help anyone who got in the way. Personally, I lost count of how many fights I had because I didn't do the gang-thing. The area was a mix of Italians, Irish, Germans and Puerto Ricans.
Queens: a little more spread out, but there were 3 gangs acting the same way as in Manhattan, I again lost count of the fights.

However, when I wasn't defending myself I tried to the best I could to do what my parents had taught me - those stated in my original post.

Pollyanna assumptions?? No in-as-much as this has never, is or will be a perfect world. Were you raised any differently?[/b][/quote]How does your experience with gangs inform the statements you began this thread with? Specifically: "IMHO we are all basically raised:
1) to respect others who are older
2) to respect the rights of others" etc.? "We" being the gangsters, or were you referring only to us denizens of volconvo(a bunch of intellectual netgeeks)?

[Suburbanite]

1) to respect others who are older

Not I.


3) to accept the differences such as race, color of skin, ethnic background, religion, etc

In public yes, but I heard a lot of racist jokes and such when just my parents were with friends.

4) to share what you have with others less fortunate

Not discouraged in my house, but it never really came up.

5) to earn your way in life and to be proud of your accomplishments without lording it over others

For sure not a product of my household.

6) to have moral values

Nope

7) to be honest

Somehow this one did make it into my world and trust in my mind is highly valued

8) to have integrity

Naw.

9) to advance in position without stabbing other people in the back

Nope.


10) not to be so closed minded that you refuse to hear the other side

I guess so.

11) etc.

No etc allowed in my house

[PhanthomOps]

PatrickHenry:
Quote: "PhantomOps, you must have lived a sheltered life..."

I responded in part to that statement, which to indicated that I did not experience adversity in my youth.

Shunyadragon:

I've had my share of ethnic jokes thrown at me. I either got over it, under it or retaliated, which I did do on occassion.

IMHO, doesn't having Morals, honesty and integrity somehow intertwine and are part of each other??

Actually MOST people get along MOST of the time. There are over 6 billion of us now and very few, relatively speaking, have ever engaged in any sort of violent or aggressive behavior. As with anything else, the loudest or most extreeme events get the most ink.

[PhanthomOps]

Opps my mistake:

This should have been directed to Suburbanite and not Shunyadragon:

I've had my share of ethnic jokes thrown at me. I either got over it, under it or retaliated, which I did do on occassion.

IMHO, doesn't having Morals, honesty and integrity somehow intertwine and are part of each other??

dave654:

Excellent point - thank you :) :)
However, why do you think some people do not get along with others??

[Comrade]

90% of the people I know who are jackasses are the type of people who don't feel they receive enough attention, so they act out, become aggressive, become drama stars in their own life.
Like most problems with people, its about self-esteem.
This applies, I think, to a great deal of the jackholes out there, though not all.

[LogicaLunatic]

First...

Originally posted by Merlov, "have same ideals and moral values" Bull! Hardly anyone condones sexual promiscuity, nor likes same-gender orientation and sex.

I condone sexual promiscuity. I condone it a lot in fact :) As for homosexualism, I don't do it. But I'm not gay :) Gays don't bother me. Intollerance bothers me, which is weird because I cannot tolerate people like you :)

Second...

People generally DO get along. Different people or groups of people get along in their own way. When they feel that their way of getting along is threatened, they fail to get along with whatever/whoever is threating their way of getting along (Way of getting along = WOGA from now on if I'm permitted to create my own acronyms :)). So, first we have to decide what actually causes trouble, people threatening or people feeling threatened? I think the following phrase answers this question nicely...

It matters not how people act, only how you react. Your reactions are the only thing you CAN control. Most actions percieved as threatening are actually benign in nature. This isn't really related to what is right and wrong. It merely pertains to how we interact.

Say you, PhantomOps, innocently walk through a certain part of town. This action can be seen as threatening by a member of one of those gangs you mentioned. If they react violently, you're then forced to either defend yourself violently or accept a beating. What caused this? The gang's reaction to your benign action. Would it be your fault that you got beat down? Absolutely not. The gang's reaction is a bad one because their reaction is a direct/directed threat.

The action doesn't even have to be percieved as a threat to produce bad results. It merely has to be misinterpreted.

Say a female dresses provocatively. She is obviously doing it to get a reaction out of other people. She is hoping for a certain reaction, likely that of, "Damn, she's HOT!" But lets assume a particular male reacts by raping her because he interpreted her form of dress as a sexual invitation? Is the female to blame? No, the male is to blame for not understanding the female's intentions and reacting accordingly. The male's reaction is a bad one because his reaction was a direct/directed threat.

Another example relating to a big issue today...

Two men decide to enjoy a little bit of oral sex together. This act is in and of itself benign. It isn't being done to threaten anybody elses WOGA. But, many Christians feel that it threatens their WOGA so they fight against it, sometimes violently. So, this Not-Getting-Along is caused not by the two men but by the Christians who have an extremely bad reaction to the gay men's benign actions. Keep in mind this isn't about right and wrong, only about how we interact. So the Christians' reaction is a bad one because their reaction is a direct/directed threat.

And another...

Scientists, in reaction to their urge to find out exactly how things work, have used the scientific method (the best known method for finding out exactly how things work) and discovered the evolutionary processes of life. They then developed a theory based around these processes called the theory of evolution. They then proceeded to find mounds and mounds of evidence in support of this theory based upon simple, verifiable observations in nature. Many Christians feel that this theory threatens their WOGA (Oh those Christians!) and are fighting against it. The theory of evolution may in fact be threatening to the Christian WOGA but it isn't a DIRECTED threat. It doesn't exist to mess with the Christians. Charles Darwin didn't say, "This will really fuck with them Christians!" Therefore the Christians' reaction again is a bad one because their fight, their reaction to the evolutionary theory is a direct/directed threat.

<hr />

The only way a reaction can be a bad reaction is if it is a DIRECTED threat to somebody or some group or their WOGAs

So, chew on this...

Right now, many people are reacting (good and bad) to George Bush's bad reaction to the Taliban's bad reaction to the US Government supporting Israel in Israel's bad reaction to Palestine's bad reaction which is a bad reaction to who knows what.

So, why don't people get along? You could say that all of these bad reactions are the result of a single bad reaction somewhere back in history. But then we don't have somebody to blame. So, I say that everybody who has bad reactions to things are to blame simply because they are perpetuating bad reaction.

Ghandi had it right. So did Jesus if he actually existed (please don't react badly to that). The only way for us all to get along is for each of us to stop having bad reactions to things and make sure we fully understand what we're reacting to. Even if these things we're reacting to are direct and directed threats.

Edited to Enable emoticons.

Edited to insert a line about understanding into the last paragraph.

Edited to insert comments about editing.

[LogicaLunatic]

Just to be fair, I should also add that I, as an atheist, am having a bad reaction to the words, "under God," in our pledge and, "In God We Trust," on our money. So, I'm not blameless either.

The only way I could react to that in a good way is to try my best to spread knowledge of science, logic and critical thinking. I think that if the majority of us understood and used those things regularly, even might I say, religiously, the things I'm reacting to will disappear automatically.

Edited to let you know that I didn't edit this for any particular reason.

LogicaLunatic