Overreaction or proper reaction?

**Jack** · 6th January 2009, 12:16 AM

Yesterday there was an interesting drama that took place on Twitter. I think it raises an interesting question about what responsibility we have to our fellow citizens, both in real life and on the web.

A mother was having a hard time getting her daughter to go to sleep. In between her attempts to get her daughter into bed, she was posting to Twitter. As is common there, she was posting about the situation she was dealing with at the moment. Rather exasperated, she posted (and I'm paraphrasing since I didn't see the original post) "I'm tempted to smother her." She meant it as a joke, an indication of her waining patience with her daughter.

Not much later, police showed up at her door and demanded to see her daughter to ensure she was OK. Evidently someone who knew this mom well enough to know where she lived saw that Twitter post and called the police, thinking maybe this was a critical situation. After explaining the situation and waking her daughter so the police could be sure she was fine, the police left and took no further action.

The mother then posted an angry rant about how some people have no sense of humor or have never been mothers themselves, since if they had they'd understand how she meant her post. She was livid at the person who called the police, and vowed to never again mention her private life or family online.

The first few comments were sympathetic and understanding. But before long the tide turned and the comments all sided with the person who called the police.

These people said that no one could be sure the mother had been joking and mentioned how terrible they'd feel if something had happened and they'd done nothing. They chastised the mother for showing poor judgment in posting such a comment even in jest.

The question is, who is right? Should people have known she was only expressing a sentiment expressed by mothers everywhere? Should people be able, in a textual environment like the internet, to tell when someone isn't serious? Do people like the person who called the police need to get a sense of humor? Or are we better off not taking these things lightly? Thinking about the boy who recently committed suicide online while people watched via webcam and chatted about it, no one calling the police; should we become more proactive when we see something that could be amiss? Are we obliged anytime we hear a gunshot in the neighborhood to notify the police? Are we our neighbor's keepers, or should we mind our own business and not get involved?

**Aussie** · 6th January 2009, 12:32 AM

Sarcasm, jokes, innuendo etc cannot be conveyed properly through text.

I've heard that many stories before of people living next to people who thought only after events that they should have called the police hearing noises, etc.

While it might seem excessive, obviously the other people are parents too and you have essentially a stranger on the net joking about being stressed and choking her child, i mean who jokes about that anyway? Better to err on the side of caution in this case I'd dare say, as the alternative is much worse (I mean there are a lot of nutters on the net and kids come first).

**SoylentGreen** · 6th January 2009, 12:51 AM

The mother should of been more cautious and been aware that any conversation she is having will be read by friends and strangers and indicate that it is a joke.
I think it better to live in a community that does care, some mistakes may be made as the example given , but better those types of mistakes than reading in the paper another stressed out parent killing their child.

Aussie
While it might seem excessive, obviously the other people are parents too and you have essentially a stranger on the net joking about being stressed and choking her child, i mean who jokes about that anyway?

Parents do, all the time. i have three teenagers, if i didn't have the stress relief of joking about killing them i might just do it.

**Aussie** · 6th January 2009, 12:54 AM

Quote by: SoylentGreen

The mother should of been more cautious and been aware that any conversation she is having will be read by friends and strangers and indicate that it is a joke.
I think it better to live in a community that does care, some mistakes may be made as the example given , but better those types of mistakes than reading in the paper another stressed out parent killing their child.

Parents do, all the time. i have three teenagers, if i didn't have the stress relief of joking about killing them i might just do it.

Sorry, more to the point who puts that joke into print online and doens't make it very clear they're joking, like you have!

**SoylentGreen** · 6th January 2009, 01:15 AM

Quote by: Aussie

Sorry, more to the point who puts that joke into print online and doens't make it very clear they're joking, like you have!

Whose joking, I want those dishes washed and am prepared to kill.

**stardust** · 6th January 2009, 08:23 AM

Well, if you wilfully join sites that by their very nature are all prepared to exploit or rather squeak up your privacy then you should remind yourself of the possible consequences as well, whlist depicting your type humour, that isn't necessarily humorous to everyone else. But the above mentioned incident is just well...dosen't takes a genius exactly to figure out. ..did the mom added : P sign while typing that line?, she should've. funny fact...=P

**Diogenes** · 6th January 2009, 08:31 AM

See...this is why ' smileys ' are an essential element to posts...they were made to be the emotional equivalent to the posters frame of mind...

use them.

**Derach** · 6th January 2009, 10:41 AM

It was a stupid thing to post.

But i've done similar things ... thankfully nobody took it wrong. Misinterpretations happen all the time ... here's a personal example.

A friend of mine was horsing around with his 4 yr old kid, tickling him and such. At one point, he picked the kid up and tickled him good, the kid squirmed hard and SMACKED his head on a doorjam ... dad dropped him, and he caught his face on the end table, giving himself a GOOD shiner and egg on his head in the process. Thankfully, the kid had no concussion and was fine ... except for the shiner that looked like Joe Frazier KO'd him. He went to daycare a couple of days later and when the teacher's aide asked what happened, he said 'my dad did it when we were fighting'. The aide went home and called youth services and a long investigation ensued. The thing is that both parents went to the administrator in the morning and explained what had happened, and if the aide had just asked the teacher or principle about it, none of it would have happened.

The internet just gives us to communicate with (and thus misunderstand) scores of strangers from all over the world instantaneously and you have to be aware that not everyone shares the same sense of humor or mannerisms.

Thankfully in both the internet mom case and my friend, things worked out for the best without much more expense than embarassment and inconvenience.

**Walrus** · 6th January 2009, 11:47 AM

Some people just don't get that sort of comment, but if that person had genuine concern, then they did the right thing.

**Compugasm** · 6th January 2009, 10:52 PM

Quote by: Jack

These people said that no one could be sure the mother had been joking and mentioned how terrible they'd feel if something had happened and they'd done nothing.

Noobies. Sounds like their just trying to cover their own asses. Following the quoted logic: These people are well aware of bad things happening every day, and yet do nothing about it. It's creepy that someone knew exactly where to send the police.

Not to sidetrack this thread, but I set up some Google Alerts. When someone searches something specific about me, Google alerts me. It seems to happen the most when I send out job applications. They're not just looking at my website, but online posts, etc. More than anything, it makes me angry this is done. But on the plus side, I wouldn't want to work for such petty and small minded people anyway.