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Zombdi · Dec 15, 2009, 07:20 pm

The more I read the Bible & the Koran, the more I think that aliens put us here, and all the stories of God are from them. My examples:

Cain & Able (Old Testement): After the one who's gift was accepted(1), a beam of fire from the sky went down and engulfed his gift. This sounds like something out of a science-fiction novel. Also (Koran), when the one who murdered his brother tries to kill, he doesn't know how, but Satan shows them. Wouldn't an alien know how to kill?

Jesus's birth (New Testement): An angel came down from the heavens, and told Mary she would have a child, but without having sex. This sounds like artificial insemination, which is very easy now, but would have been a miracle back then.

Now there are many more, but I thought I would be lazy and just tell you these two.
What do you think of this(2)?

Footnotes:
1: I'm so sorry, I can't remember which is which.
2. Not my laziness, but my the first two paragraphs.

**Jack** · Dec 15, 2009, 10:13 pm

Shortly after the Earth was formed a family of aliens traveling across the galaxy stopped off on our barren planet for lunch. They were careful to eat and drink everything they brought and cleaned up meticulously afterward, not wanting to despoil this pristine little globe.

While the parents were cleaning up, the youngest child went behind a rock to poop. He failed to let his parents know what he'd done, and as a result, that little pile of organic material provided the base elements needed for life to spring forth.

They boarded their ship and went on their way, never to pass this way again and totally ignorant of what they had started.

Life on Earth owes its existence to alien poop.

I dare anyone to prove me wrong.

SoylentGreen · Dec 16, 2009, 01:10 am

Now if there was some mention of anal probing in the bible then we could credit alien influence.

yukonmuffin · Dec 16, 2009, 02:48 am

Quote:

Quote by: Jack

Shortly after the Earth was formed a family of aliens traveling across the galaxy stopped off on our barren planet for lunch. They were careful to eat and drink everything they brought and cleaned up meticulously afterward, not wanting to despoil this pristine little globe.

While the parents were cleaning up, the youngest child went behind a rock to poop. He failed to let his parents know what he'd done, and as a result, that little pile of organic material provided the base elements needed for life to spring forth.

They boarded their ship and went on their way, never to pass this way again and totally ignorant of what they had started.

Life on Earth owes its existence to alien poop.

I dare anyone to prove me wrong.

i can. it's a statistical fact that all aliens are constipated. prove me wrong

Night · Dec 16, 2009, 08:31 am

What if aliens purposely seeded the earth with a starter organism? Seeded millions of planets around the universe with starter bacteria?

Interesting idea, Zombdi. Welcome to the forums.

Zombdi · Dec 16, 2009, 06:24 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Night

What if aliens purposely seeded the earth with a starter organism? Seeded millions of planets around the universe with starter bacteria?

Interesting idea, Zombdi. Welcome to the forums.

Thank you.
P.S. To the alien excrement theory, that was so elegantly explained, I laugh. Because everybody knows all aliens are constipated. It's a widely known fact.

green · Dec 26, 2009, 12:41 am

Quote:

Quote by: SoylentGreen

Now if there was some mention of anal probing in the bible then we could credit alien influence.

I dont know about any probing in the bible, but there sure have been many religious figures who have been/are probing a few kiddies in these past few years

hmm, too far or not enough..

oades11 · Dec 26, 2009, 11:24 pm

Lol this thread is hilarious.

What's the term for what the OP refers to anyway? It isn't panspermia, it's something more specific. Alien exogenesis?

Angry Citizen · Dec 27, 2009, 12:27 am

I'd call it xenogenesis, myself. It's an interesting theory, to be sure. It just lacks evidence. Certainly many of the things in the Bible and the Koran and other religious and ancient texts could be ancient man's interpretation of incredibly advanced technology. As is often quoted, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. I would consider the alien explanation far more likely than the one that the goat-herders arrived at during the bronze age. That said, until I see some evidence that isn't based solely on the interpretation of a millennia-old document, I'll have to pass on the theory.

yukonmuffin · Dec 27, 2009, 01:29 am

Fecegenisis
Shit happens theory
Intelligent Droppings (ID)
craptionism

Anyone else have any good ideas for a name?

PlatoNot · Dec 30, 2009, 10:53 pm

Quote:

Quote by: yukonmuffin

Fecegenisis
Shit happens theory
Intelligent Droppings (ID)
craptionism

Anyone else have any good ideas for a name?

No, but thanks for the laugh.

Dawkins in his interview with Ben Stein put forth the Alien seeds of life theory but not nearly as eloquent as was done here.

GeminiBrian · Dec 31, 2009, 10:06 am

Quote:

Quote by: PlatoNot

No, but thanks for the laugh.

Dawkins in his interview with Ben Stein put forth the Alien seeds of life theory but not nearly as eloquent as was done here.

Really, Plate - I should report you to God for even listening to Professor Dawkins...

PlatoNot · Jan 1, 2010, 08:05 am

Quote:

Quote by: GeminiBrian

Really, Plate - I should report you to God for even listening to Professor Dawkins...

You little snitch. Beware of one hand clapping. You have to hold your nose and listen to the other side to debate.

Clevinger · Jan 1, 2010, 09:26 pm

God wants us to be ignorant.

Prove me wrong, and were both going to hell, so please don't.

PlatoNot · Jan 2, 2010, 08:41 am

Quote:

Quote by: Clevinger

God wants us to be ignorant.

Prove me wrong, and were both going to hell, so please don't.

Another attempt by an evolutionist to divert attention away from evolution's obvious shortcomings by introducing creationist ridicule. If you can't debate evolution your wasting your time with this drivel.

**Jack** · Jan 2, 2010, 10:40 am

Quote:

Another attempt by an evolutionist to divert attention away from evolution's obvious shortcomings by introducing creationist ridicule.

And anti-evolutionists don't do this as well? They can't argue evolution with science so they resort to making ridiculous claims and attributing them to evolution.

Now, back to them rascally aliens...

Diogenes · Jan 2, 2010, 12:04 pm

Quote:

Now, back to them rascally aliens...

Wouldn't that make us all illegal aliens

Clevinger · Jan 2, 2010, 12:27 pm

Quote:

Quote by: PlatoNot

Another attempt by an evolutionist to divert attention away from evolution's obvious shortcomings by introducing creationist ridicule. If you can't debate evolution your wasting your time with this drivel.

Since when were we doing a serious discussion of evolution in this thread? If it were a serious thread discussing evolution, I would agree with you.

Look at every post. None of which are seriously debating evolution.

So stop wasting your breathe.

PlatoNot · Jan 2, 2010, 06:31 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Jack

And anti-evolutionists don't do this as well? They can't argue evolution with science so they resort to making ridiculous claims and attributing them to evolution.

Now, back to them rascally aliens...

At least I quote specifics not generalized flame baits.

**Cruella** · Jan 3, 2010, 05:09 am

Ha ha! Now, back to the topic, please.

DO NOT RESPOND IN THIS THREAD TO THE PRECEDING MESSAGE.
Please contact a member of the staff privately if you have any questions.

Dec 15, 2009, 07:20 pm	#1 (permalink)
Zombdi Molten Ash Location: Nowhere Posts: 89	Aliens are God? The more I read the Bible & the Koran, the more I think that aliens put us here, and all the stories of God are from them. My examples: Cain & Able (Old Testement): After the one who's gift was accepted(1), a beam of fire from the sky went down and engulfed his gift. This sounds like something out of a science-fiction novel. Also (Koran), when the one who murdered his brother tries to kill, he doesn't know how, but Satan shows them. Wouldn't an alien know how to kill? Jesus's birth (New Testement): An angel came down from the heavens, and told Mary she would have a child, but without having sex. This sounds like artificial insemination, which is very easy now, but would have been a miracle back then. Now there are many more, but I thought I would be lazy and just tell you these two. What do you think of this(2)? Footnotes: 1: I'm so sorry, I can't remember which is which. 2. Not my laziness, but my the first two paragraphs. Last edited by Zombdi; Dec 15, 2009 at 10:05 pm.

Dec 15, 2009, 10:13 pm	#2 (permalink)
Jack Inquisitor Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 17,882 Blog Entries: 70	Shortly after the Earth was formed a family of aliens traveling across the galaxy stopped off on our barren planet for lunch. They were careful to eat and drink everything they brought and cleaned up meticulously afterward, not wanting to despoil this pristine little globe. While the parents were cleaning up, the youngest child went behind a rock to poop. He failed to let his parents know what he'd done, and as a result, that little pile of organic material provided the base elements needed for life to spring forth. They boarded their ship and went on their way, never to pass this way again and totally ignorant of what they had started. Life on Earth owes its existence to alien poop. I dare anyone to prove me wrong. The Forum Rules Radical Atheist Jeber's If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

Dec 16, 2009, 08:31 am	#5 (permalink)
Night Flaming Homosexual Location: Las Vegas, NV (USA) Posts: 1,125	What if aliens purposely seeded the earth with a starter organism? Seeded millions of planets around the universe with starter bacteria? Interesting idea, Zombdi. Welcome to the forums. "Reality is for people who can't cope with drugs" - Robin Williams "A true man hates no one" - Napoleon Bonaparte "God is dead" - Friedrich Nietzsche "Blaghhghghahahhghaggagga" - Terri Schiavo

Dec 26, 2009, 11:24 pm	#8 (permalink)
oades11 Demosthenes Location: WVU Posts: 421	Lol this thread is hilarious. What's the term for what the OP refers to anyway? It isn't panspermia, it's something more specific. Alien exogenesis? “No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more miraculous than the fact which it endeavors to establish” -David Hume

Dec 27, 2009, 01:29 am	#10 (permalink)
yukonmuffin Quality > Quantity Location: North of 60° Posts: 1,032 Blog Entries: 2	Fecegenisis Shit happens theory Intelligent Droppings (ID) craptionism Anyone else have any good ideas for a name? Breakn' Stuff to Look tough.

Dec 16, 2009, 01:10 am	#3 (permalink)
SoylentGreen Volcanic Erupter Posts: 6,219	Now if there was some mention of anal probing in the bible then we could credit alien influence.

Dec 27, 2009, 12:27 am	#9 (permalink)
Angry Citizen The Embittered One Location: Texas Posts: 1,727 Blog Entries: 2	I'd call it xenogenesis, myself. It's an interesting theory, to be sure. It just lacks evidence. Certainly many of the things in the Bible and the Koran and other religious and ancient texts could be ancient man's interpretation of incredibly advanced technology. As is often quoted, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. I would consider the alien explanation far more likely than the one that the goat-herders arrived at during the bronze age. That said, until I see some evidence that isn't based solely on the interpretation of a millennia-old document, I'll have to pass on the theory.

Jan 1, 2010, 09:26 pm	#14 (permalink)
Clevinger Sedimentary Rock Location: Ann Arbor, Mi Posts: 6	God wants us to be ignorant. Prove me wrong, and were both going to hell, so please don't.