Angels, what are they and what do they want?

[Thanatos]

Christians always draw angels as humanoids with wings. They seem rather convinced they look like this.




I had some difficulty finding all of the following information because modern Christians don't seem comfortable with Biblical angels for reasons that will soon become apparent.

The Bible depicts a rather different sort of angel.

5 I looked up and there before me was a man dressed in linen, with a belt of the finest gold around his waist.

6 His body was like chrysolite, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.

Basically, some sort of cyborg-golem-thing wearing a golden belt and a white uniform with a face made out of electricity and a reverberation effect on the voice. Note that wings are not mentioned.

2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.

3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

This seems to be the same sort of angelic golem again. White uniform, lightning for a face, preceded by an earthquake. It also easily moved a very heavy stone and then resurrected Jesus. Okay then.

1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple.

2 Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying.

God's personal retinue seems to be different and weirder. Seraphim do not sound strictly humanoid, although one kissed Isaiah to remove his sins which implies they have something resembling a face (we hope). Interestingly, the etymology of seraph suggests they're either on fire or resemble serpents.

4 I looked, and I saw a windstorm coming out of the north —an immense cloud with flashing lightning and surrounded by brilliant light. The center of the fire looked like glowing metal, 5 and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures. In appearance their form was human, 6 but each of them had four faces and four wings. 7 Their legs were straight; their feet were like those of a calf and gleamed like burnished bronze. 8 Under their wings on their four sides they had human hands. All four of them had faces and wings, 9 and the wings of one touched the wings of another. Each one went straight ahead; they did not turn as they moved.

10 Their faces looked like this: Each of the four had the face of a human being, and on the right side each had the face of a lion, and on the left the face of an ox; each also had the face of an eagle. 11 Such were their faces. They each had two wings spreading out upward, each wing touching that of the creature on either side; and each had two other wings covering its body. 12 Each one went straight ahead. Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, without turning as they went. 13 The appearance of the living creatures was like burning coals of fire or like torches. Fire moved back and forth among the creatures; it was bright, and lightning flashed out of it. 14 The creatures sped back and forth like flashes of lightning.

What?

Assuming this passage is not just the product of imagination or mind-altering mushrooms... just what? A glowing radially symmetric clonal organism with like sixteen faces total? The subsequent passages do not make much sense, but this thing was followed by something like spherical rolling drones, and they arrived in a metal flying machine surrounded by lightning to deliver a message from God.

I also find it interesting that angelic aircraft kick up dust, which is a bit of detail you would not expect from people who had never seen anything larger than a goose fly. The earthquakes from the arrival of the golems I mentioned earlier might be people trying to describe a sonic boom from something entering and exiting Earth's atmosphere very rapidly.

....

All angels glow. Why is not clear; nobody caught fire or died of radiation sickness from being near one. Organic angeloids (it's not clear if they are all truly angels) have at least two (but usually more) wings and extremely variable bodyplans. Inorganic angeloids are humanoids who are made of metal, fire and electricity; important ones may have symbolic or combat-related modifications such as a sword for a tongue (read Revelations). Angels occasionally disguise themselves as humans, suggesting their already strange bodyplans can be shifted at will depending on their needs. Several types of strangely constructed flying craft are also described.

... is it possible that we got pranked by aliens? Did they really let Jesus join the club, and if so will an angry cyborg Jesus ever come back?

[finder]

Christians always draw angels as humanoids with wings. They seem rather convinced they look like this.




I had some difficulty finding all of the following information because modern Christians don't seem comfortable with Biblical angels for reasons that will soon become apparent.

The Bible depicts a rather different sort of angel.



Basically, some sort of cyborg-golem-thing wearing a golden belt and a white uniform with a face made out of electricity and a reverberation effect on the voice. Note that wings are not mentioned.



This seems to be the same sort of angelic golem again. White uniform, lightning for a face, preceded by an earthquake. It also easily moved a very heavy stone and then resurrected Jesus. Okay then.



God's personal retinue seems to be different and weirder. Seraphim do not sound humanoid, although one kissed Isaiah to remove his sins which implies they have something resembling a face (we hope). Interestingly, the etymology of seraph suggests they're either on fire or resemble serpents.



What?

Assuming this passage is not just the product of imagination or mind-altering mushrooms... just what? A glowing radially symmetric clonal organism with like sixteen faces total? The subsequent passages do not make much sense, but this thing was followed by something like spherical rolling drones, and they arrived in a metal flying machine surrounded by lightning to deliver a message from God.

I also find it interesting that angelic aircraft kick up dust, which is a bit of detail you would not expect from people who had never seen anything larger than a goose fly. The earthquakes from the arrival of the golems I mentioned earlier might be people trying to describe a sonic boom from something entering and exiting Earth's atmosphere very rapidly.

....

All angels glow. Why is not clear; nobody caught fire or died of radiation sickness from being near one. Organic angeloids (it's not clear if they are all truly angels) have at least two (but usually more) wings and extremely variable bodyplans. Inorganic angeloids are humanoids who are made of metal, fire and electricity; important ones may have symbolic or combat-related modifications such as a sword for a tongue (read Revelations). Angels occasionally disguise themselves as humans, suggesting their already strange bodyplans can be shifted at will depending on their needs. Several types of strangely constructed flying craft are also described.

... is it possible that we got pranked by aliens? Did they really let Jesus join the club, and if so will an angry cyborg Jesus ever come back?

Or angelic beings are as diversified as earthly ones. And you left out a couple of very important verses that apply to your premise of this thread...

Hebrews 13:1&2...

1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

[ruksak]

Seriously starting to think maybe the crazy ancient aliens guy is on to something here.

2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

Shape-shifters? Doppelgangers? Seems like your verse insinuates that angels may walk among us, but no suggestion saying they haven't altered their appearance.


Either way....Angels, you scary.

[el ايمان]

It should be fairly obvious that a depiction of angels as caucasian is a biased and likely nonfactual one.

[Peter]

The coolest angels - Dogma

[ruksak]

It should be fairly obvious that a depiction of angels as caucasian is a biased and likely nonfactual one.

I would argue that not only is the depiction of angels in any form disingenuous and purely fictional, the very idea of angels is fictional and based purely on the words of a people that thought high winds were gods wrath. Of course they didn't know about high and low pressure fronts, so again, god becomes a ready excuse for that which cannot be explained with science.

It befuddles me to no end that people in this modern age, well educated people, could subscribe to the idea of winged immortal humanoids. The fuck is wrong with people?

[finder]

I would argue that not only is the depiction of angels in any form disingenuous and purely fictional, the very idea of angels is fictional and based purely on the words of a people that thought high winds were gods wrath. Of course they didn't know about high and low pressure fronts, so again, god becomes a ready excuse for that which cannot be explained with science.

Since the OP focused on the angels of the Bible, who in the Bible thought "high winds" were angels? God is the excuse for what is explained by science as well.

It befuddles me to no end that people in this modern age, well educated people, could subscribe to the idea of winged immortal humanoids. The fuck is wrong with people?

They all have wings?

[ruksak]

Since the OP focused on the angels of the Bible, who in the Bible thought "high winds" were angels? God is the excuse for what is explained by science as well.



They all have wings?

How about you offer a rational reason why one would believe in the existence of angels?

[Bhaal-Zebub]

The Bible is open to many interpertations. As for angels and demons and what they may look like? Is again open to many interpertations from the people who wrote about angles and demons to the artists who paint them. This doesnt mean they are right but at the same time it doesnt mean they are wrong either, it is just their interpertation.