Share Your Words of Wisdom

[Lullaby Chainer]

Recently I've had to counsel some of my freinds online.

They've been going through some very tough shit and I'm often left searching through my mind for things to say in a seemingly hopeless situation.

I'm going to provide scenarios and I'd like to hear your inspiring words of wisdom on situations that seem to be hopeless.

Creativity is welcome!

1. Brian has been wrongfully charged with murdering his wife. He has been sentenced to life in prison. His wife is dead, and the real murderer is still out there. Brian is only 25. You are a family member of Brian, and have been given some time to speak with him. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell your wrongly accused family member?

2. Jill finds her self horribley deformed, and severley crippled by a drunk driver car accident. Jill is in constant pain, and is not allowed to leave the hospital. Her life seems to have shattered into a million peices. Just before the car accident, she was a senior in highschool, had big plans for college, a dress ready for prom, and was a star athlete. You are a counselor for Jill's family. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell Jill's heart broken family?

3. A father concludes that he has failed as a parent when he finds his suicidal son dead on the bathroom floor. The son was severely depressed and suffered from a few mental disorders but the father is convinced he has failed his only son as a parent and blames himself for his son's death. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell the father?

[tman_ndsu08]

Honestly, what can you say? There is litterally nothing that you could possibly say in any of those situations.

Sometimes the best words are those that aren't said.

[Lullaby Chainer]

Oh.. you can think of something.. I'll give it a try once someone else does.

[tman_ndsu08]

1. You need to talk to your lawyer about an appeal.

2. Jill, if she lives, is going to have a painful, lonely life ahead of her. The best thing you can do is let her know that you're there.

3. It wasn't your fault. He wanted to die.

[Rave7pt0]

tman, don't ever offer advice to the bereaved, lol

[Osborn F Enready]

Chainer said: 1. Brian has been wrongfully charged with murdering his wife. He has been sentenced to life in prison. His wife is dead, and the real murderer is still out there. Brian is only 25. You are a family member of Brian, and have been given some time to speak with him. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell your wrongly accused family member?

I say:
Brian, if we can't fix the system, and right the wrongs, we will be here to break you out in 5 years.

Chainer said: 2. Jill finds her self horribley deformed, and severley crippled by a drunk driver car accident. Jill is in constant pain, and is not allowed to leave the hospital. Her life seems to have shattered into a million peices. Just before the car accident, she was a senior in highschool, had big plans for college, a dress ready for prom, and was a star athlete. You are a counselor for Jill's family. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell Jill's heart broken family?

I say:
Help your family member through this hard time, and help her re-adjust to the hand nature has dealt her. Try not to focus on what has been, but what is left to come. Help her find herself again, and help her recenter through the unjaded eyes you must have as a family to stay strong through times such as these. Call me if you reach dire straits, and need to reaffirm your hope.

Chainer said: 3. A father concludes that he has failed as a parent when he finds his suicidal son dead on the bathroom floor. The son was severely depressed and suffered from a few mental disorders but the father is convinced he has failed his only son as a parent and blames himself for his son's death. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell the father?

I say:
While it may be partially your fault, what is done is done, and the time is now to move on. Dwelling over what has happened solves nothing, and only serves to deepen the wounds that you won't allow time to heal. Learn from what has happened, always treasure the time you had together, and move on with more insight, and more understanding, and never forget that really trying to understand is the key part of any relationship. Call me if you need a shoulder to lean on.




Of course, every situation is very hopeless, therefore this must be an exercise in how we express hope to those that seem to be devoid of such option.

I will not sink to dogma to provide an answer that nature already so clearly provides.......

(suck it up, and deal with it.)

[Lullaby Chainer]

I'm going to try a more creative approach.. that may or may not help.. ^^

1. Brian has been wrongfully charged with murdering his wife. He has been sentenced to life in prison. His wife is dead, and the real murderer is still out there. Brian is only 25. You are a family member of Brian, and have been given some time to speak with him. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell your wrongly accused family member?

Injustice cannot be stopped in a world that knows so little. I want you to think back to the day before she was murdered. Hold on to that thought. Now take a hard look around you. You're a man who has lost everything. And you have all the reason in the world to be angry. They took your life, and now, you have nothing. I want you to look at your options. With nothing, you can lose nothing. Your options grow more and more when you have less and less to hold on to. You have a long road ahead of you. Make use of your time. They will pay, and you will have your freedom back. And if you should fail, may you know for certain you sure as hell gave it your all. Your injustice will not be forgotten. Others will hear your story. You've become more than you ever could be. Yes, at a price, but isn't it worth it? Your story will bring society closer to the justice that needs be taken.

Every suffering is a seed, because suffering compels us to seek wisdom.

3. A father concludes that he has failed as a parent when he finds his suicidal son dead on the bathroom floor. The son was severely depressed and suffered from a few mental disorders but the father is convinced he has failed his only son as a parent and blames himself for his son's death. What inspiring words of wisdom do you tell the father?

I often ponder, the living and the dead. Who really suffers? The living.. not the dead. Your son will never feel another ounce of pain. What suffering may have drove him to his death no longer exists. Your son is gone, but rest assure he no longer suffers.

As a parent, I know you would take any amount of pain, just to remove an ounce of pain off your children. You may not realize it yet, but you are the only one who suffers now. Your son needed to go, he has put his pains on you. Listen to me when I say this, your son loved you, and he knew what this would do to you. He knew he could give you his pain, and knew his dad could take it from him. Because he loved you. His pain was too great, and he knew that he had a dad who could take it from him. He suffers no longer, and now the parent takes his suffering. Your'e a good man, and you've done more than you know for your son.

[SoccerfreakAB2]

Quote by: Lullaby Chainer I'm going to try a more creative approach.. that may or may not help.. ^^ Injustice cannot be stopped in a world that knows so little. I want you to think back to the day before she was murdered. Hold on to that thought. Now take a hard look around you. You're a man who has lost everything. And you have all the reason in the world to be angry. They took your life, and now, you have nothing. I want you to look at your options. With nothing, you can lose nothing. Your options grow more and more when you have less and less to hold on to. You have a long road ahead of you. Make use of your time. They will pay, and you will have your freedom back. And if you should fail, may you know for certain you sure as hell gave it your all. Your injustice will not be forgotten. Others will hear your story. You've become more than you ever could be. Yes, at a price, but isn't it worth it? Your story will bring society closer to the justice that needs be taken. Every suffering is a seed, because suffering compels us to seek wisdom.

If I were Brian, and I heard that, I would be even more angry. So he has nothing and has a long road ahead of him. So what? He's in jail for something he didn't do? Personally, I like Osborn's words of advice. That is hope, because there is no guarantee but it's something positive to hold on to throughout the sentence.

"You've become more than you could ever be?" Uh, I hope not, and no it probably isn't worth it to become whatever he became? A pseudo-murderer?

[Scribbler1]

Is this on the level? You're not testing anyone, writing a book or making some kind of point, are you?

[Lullaby Chainer]

Quote by: Scribbler1 Is this on the level? You're not testing anyone, writing a book or making some kind of point, are you?

Huh? O.o

[Lullaby Chainer]

Quote by: SoccerfreakAB2 If I were Brian, and I heard that, I would be even more angry. So he has nothing and has a long road ahead of him. So what? He's in jail for something he didn't do? Personally, I like Osborn's words of advice. That is hope, because there is no guarantee but it's something positive to hold on to throughout the sentence. "You've become more than you could ever be?" Uh, I hope not, and no it probably isn't worth it to become whatever he became? A pseudo-murderer?

Anger drives us. Yes, it was a creative approach. But I think you missed the point.

"You've become more than you could ever be?" doesn't mean he's become a pseudo-murderer.. it was clearly implied that he has become a symbol and powerful story that leads society one step closer to a world with true justice and a better court system.

[Scribbler1]

Quote by: Lullaby Chainer Huh? O.o

It's the natural cynic in me to see more than one possibility. I was merely wondering are these people and their situations real or part of a larger point you are making, that's all.

[Lullaby Chainer]

Quote by: Scribbler1 It's the natural cynic in me to see more than one possibility. I was merely wondering are these people and their situations real or part of a larger point you are making, that's all.

They are just made up scenarios...

[Boetie]

Some people might be receptive to what another person says. Some people aren't going to be receptive no matter what you say. It takes a little more initmacy to know if they are receptive or not.

Let's say they are receptive. The trick isn't in what you say but in the conversations you have with them over a period of time. All three characters have the same similar situation which is they all got caught up in events that were beyond their control. Get them to realize this, then help them develop their own philopsophy about what it means to get caught up in fate.

[Kuldeep]

Quote by: Boetie Some people might be receptive to what another person says. Some people aren't going to be receptive no matter what you say. It takes a little more initmacy to know if they are receptive or not. Let's say they are receptive. The trick isn't in what you say but in the conversations you have with them over a period of time. All three characters have the same similar situation which is they all got caught up in events that were beyond their control. Get them to realize this, then help them develop their own philopsophy about what it means to get caught up in fate.

Though a well analysed situations, I would say the real trick is with healing by the passage of Time. Immediately just after the incident, probably all the three must have gone insane, may have remained unconscious for some time. The continual healing by the passage of time has great impact on recovery and stabilising process of mind. This happens due to mind's property of forgetfulness. Well, time the great healer would take care of all the three, I being a close member of the victims have to say words of wisdom. My words of wisdom at the time, when they would be receptive as said by Boetie would be: DO NOT BOTHER!! YOU ARE IN A POSITION BETTER THAN THE ONE YOU ARE IN!!! :) Meaning I would ask them to think what if worse would have happened. :rolleyes:

Example:
1. To Brian I would say that he was lucky to get only life imprisonment and not a death sentence. In that case at least I was there to reopen the case and provide him justice somehow.

2. To Jill I would say that she should thank God she survived the accident and that medical science is so much advanced that she would be back to normal with the support of a person like me.

3. To the father, I would say that it was not destined for the gone son to be with him any more and further he was lucky to have another son/daughter still surviving, for whose welfare he should concentrate at present, rather keep on repenting on what happened.

[Ghumanto]

To Brian :
Well the bastards at least failed to hang you . Now let's focus on the situation. Remember, Oranges aren't the only fruit !
If we try - we can still get the hell straighten up. Just hold on !

To Jill :
I agree with Tman - sometimes the best words are those not spoken out .

To the Father :
No idea ! I may blame myself too because it was supposed to be me to look after my son . So, he fails - I should be blamed for not that much caring ! :eek:

[Amuse]

All three stories portray the people in them as victims. This is and always has been the way society sees itself. Individuals grow up seeing and believing themselves as victims and servants to fate. The reality is : Life happens through you not to you. There are no victims, only participants in this game of life. Stop giving yourself away to those that feel empowered by controlling others because they choose not to control themselves.
In the case of the father loosing his son to suicide we see someone taking responsibility for anothers actions as if the father was in control. See where the idea of control comes into play here? You can influence and care for others but to control another shows lack of respect for them and insecurity in yourself.

[Osborn F Enready]

Great answer Amuse.

[rcne]

A short answer for all three scenarios - suicide is painless. Face it all three are basically screwed and nothing you can say will change their situation.

[tman_ndsu08]

Quote by: rcne A short answer for all three scenarios - suicide is painless.

You've pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Especially the second one.


Yikes.


**Note to the rest of you: if you find me in a car wreak barely alive and mostly burnt...please...for the love of whatever god you believe in....don't pull me out.