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Lullaby Chainer · Feb 28, 2006, 05:31 pm

Dear freinds,

I have recently been converted, peacefully, to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

I believe firmley in FSMism and believe there is much proof in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I suggest you all buy a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster from http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081...books&v=glance

Consider that we are without question the most peaceful religion in existence, with zero documented deaths attributed to us, as opposed to - as an example - Christians who are responsible for millions of deaths (note to angry Christians: the Crusades).

And, don't forget about our important scientific research. We've established that there is a statistically significant relationship between the declining pirate population and global temperature. Global warming is a serious problem, and the more pirate ships out there, the better for all of us - even the non-believers.

If you have any questions or arguments, please feel free to post them and I will reply in a manner FSM would approve of.

phoenix_fire · Feb 28, 2006, 06:09 pm

For those of you who are unaware (or have not figured it out yet), FSM is a spoof religion meant to parody predominantly Christianity. It has also been used to try to place Christians in the place of their detractors, the underlying assumption being that although the dogma is scientifically unproveable, it is nevertheless ridiculous (implying that it is a one-to-one comparision with theism). This makes the originators crass and overly simplistic mockers and the adherents pandering dupes. In short, it is an embarrassment to those who would raise more dignified objections to theism. To the believers on this board, I would say do not legitimize this argument with a response. To the athiests and agnostics on this board, I would say not to waste your time.

P.S. (to Chained) Carbon 14 would not decay "by electron emission" to Nitrogen 14. Basic high school chemistry can tell you that the difference between elements is in the number of protons. The number of electrons determines the difference between isotopes of the same element. Your scientific veracity is on par with the veracity of your theology.

Lullaby Chainer · Feb 28, 2006, 06:18 pm

FSMism is not a spoof religion!! ><

How dare you question my right to believe the TRUTH!!

Oh and, I never noted how smart the scientist was. Perhaps he didn't go to highschool like you obviously have.

RickSp · Feb 28, 2006, 06:18 pm

Oh please phoenix, lighten up. The Flying Spaghetti Monster, glory be its name, was created specifically in response to the Kansas "intelligent design" nonsense. If intelligent design, so called, is a valid scientific theory, then so is the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

It is a good natured spoof on overly tightly wound Christians who claim that ID is not creationism. And from your overwrought response phoenix you appear to be one of them

phoenix_fire · Feb 28, 2006, 07:38 pm

Rick, I see that you have fallen into the trap that I described above. FSM is the Catch-22 of theological discourse. It's wrong, obviously, but within its own twisted system of thinking, it sounds like truth. As I said before: FSM and theism are not a one-to-one comparison.

zynner · Feb 28, 2006, 07:46 pm

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

It's wrong, obviously,

Prove it.

RickSp · Feb 28, 2006, 07:58 pm

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

Rick, I see that you have fallen into the trap that I described above. FSM is the Catch-22 of theological discourse. It's wrong, obviously, but within its own twisted system of thinking, it sounds like truth. As I said before: FSM and theism are not a one-to-one comparison.

"within its own twisted system of thinking, it sounds like truth." Say what? The Flying Spaghetti Monster?

I see you lack a sense of humor as well as sense of perspective. Jaysus.

Morgan_Freeman · Feb 28, 2006, 08:05 pm

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

Rick, I see that you have fallen into the trap that I described above. FSM is the Catch-22 of theological discourse. It's wrong, obviously, but within its own twisted system of thinking, it sounds like truth.

Congratulations, you've gotten the point. Religion is a scam.

Keith Hamburger · Feb 28, 2006, 08:17 pm

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

P.S. (to Chained) Carbon 14 would not decay "by electron emission" to Nitrogen 14. Basic high school chemistry can tell you that the difference between elements is in the number of protons. The number of electrons determines the difference between isotopes of the same element. Your scientific veracity is on par with the veracity of your theology.

But, basic high school physics will tell you that beta particle decay is nuclear electron emission. One neutron in Carbon 14 emits an electron and becomes a proton, resulting in Nitrogen 14.

Sorry, you're wrong.

Keith

Morgan_Freeman · Feb 28, 2006, 08:37 pm

Uhh.. please disregard.

G. Adams · Feb 28, 2006, 10:17 pm

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

For those of you who are unaware (or have not figured it out yet), FSM is a spoof religion meant to parody predominantly Christianity. It has also been used to try to place Christians in the place of their detractors, the underlying assumption being that although the dogma is scientifically unproveable, it is nevertheless ridiculous (implying that it is a one-to-one comparision with theism). This makes the originators crass and overly simplistic mockers and the adherents pandering dupes. In short, it is an embarrassment to those who would raise more dignified objections to theism. To the believers on this board, I would say do not legitimize this argument with a response. To the athiests and agnostics on this board, I would say not to waste your time.

Any actual reasoning behind your attack on FSM? Any reason, that is, that cannot be levelled at Christianity with equal validity?

phoenix_fire · Feb 28, 2006, 10:42 pm

That is precisely the point that FSM tries to forward. Ladies and gentlemen, we're talking apples and phase coils here. The origin of FSM can be easily and beyond doubt be traced to a person, with the sole nefarious intent to lampoon Christianity. The same cannot be said about Christianity itself. Whatever you think of the origin, the followers are in earnest. FSM is a spoof. Christianity is not. There is a difference.

**Jack** · Feb 28, 2006, 10:44 pm

Quote:

FSM is a spoof. Christianity is not. There is a difference.

Not from the outside looking in.

G. Adams · Mar 1, 2006, 08:30 am

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

That is precisely the point that FSM tries to forward. Ladies and gentlemen, we're talking apples and phase coils here. The origin of FSM can be easily and beyond doubt be traced to a person, with the sole nefarious intent to lampoon Christianity. The same cannot be said about Christianity itself. Whatever you think of the origin, the followers are in earnest. FSM is a spoof. Christianity is not. There is a difference.

And your lack of reasoned response only highlights it's truth further.

RickSp · Mar 1, 2006, 09:30 am

Yo Phoenix the FSM can be traced to one person whose intention was not to ridicule Christianity per se, but to point out the falsehoods of those who claimed that ID had nothing to so with a specific religion. She was in fact ridiculing certain Chrsitians who were lying through their teeth. Unless you considering telling lies to be a Christian virtue, you are missing the point entirely.

On the other hand, your oddly strident response may only demonstrate the power and wisdom of the Pastafarian faith. All glory to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Lullaby Chainer · Mar 1, 2006, 10:23 am

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

That is precisely the point that FSM tries to forward. Ladies and gentlemen, we're talking apples and phase coils here. The origin of FSM can be easily and beyond doubt be traced to a person, with the sole nefarious intent to lampoon Christianity. The same cannot be said about Christianity itself. Whatever you think of the origin, the followers are in earnest. FSM is a spoof. Christianity is not. There is a difference.

FSMism is not a spoof religion!! ><

Why can't you respect my beliefs like any other's? Or you could ATLEAST try to provide an argument instead of just disregarding my beliefs as satire.

I assure you, I can defend my religion with anything you have to throw at it, but to just attack my beliefs without even providing arguments is a bit annoying.

phoenix_fire · Mar 1, 2006, 12:45 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Isherwood

Not from the outside looking in.

Isher, even though you do not believe as I do, surely you can see the difference between something that people earnestly believe and a joke. If you refuse, then you are just lying.

Quote:

Quote by: Addams

And your lack of reasoned response only highlights it's truth further.

:eek: I'm wondering whether to class that as a personal attack. I would rather think my responses have been rather reasonable and reasoned. But if you want to start worshipping a South Park skit, be my guest.

Quote:

Quote by: Sp

Yo Phoenix the FSM can be traced to one person whose intention was not to ridicule Christianity per se, but to point out the falsehoods of those who claimed that ID had nothing to so with a specific religion. She was in fact ridiculing certain Chrsitians who were lying through their teeth. Unless you considering telling lies to be a Christian virtue, you are missing the point entirely.

I think you espouse the idea just to annoy me. The reason why it bothers me so much is because people say they worship this thing. Even though it is in jest, it is a very poor joke. The fact that I know there really is Someone out there to worship (who is not a special at Olive Garden) makes me all the more upset when people would rather (even in pretending) give that worship to some ridiculous thing of their own creation.

Of course I don't think lying is a virtue. In that vein, stop acting like you believe this FSM *expletive deleted*.

Quote:

Quote by: Chained

FSMism is not a spoof religion!! ><

Why can't you respect my beliefs like any other's? Or you could ATLEAST try to provide an argument instead of just disregarding my beliefs as satire.

I assure you, I can defend my religion with anything you have to throw at it, but to just attack my beliefs without even providing arguments is a bit annoying.

I can't respect what you're saying because I know you do not really believe it. Stop acting like you do. It's getting old.

As far as the lack of argument and wholesale attack goes...well, welcome to apologetics. Happens to me all the time. You start talking about Jesus and some schmuck says "IF he even existed..." and I contemplate banging my head against a wall.

RickSp · Mar 1, 2006, 01:24 pm

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

I think you espouse the idea just to annoy me.

To annoy you and you alone? Sounds more than a bit paranoid to me.

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

Of course I don't think lying is a virtue. In that vein, stop acting like you believe this FSM *expletive deleted*.

What right do you have to dictate to me what I believe or do not believe?

Quote:

Quote by: phoenix_fire

You start talking about Jesus and some schmuck says "IF he even existed..." and I contemplate banging my head against a wall.

Be careful. You might damage the wall. And there is no contemporary evidence of the existence of a historical Jesus. Do please be careful with that wall.

zynner · Mar 1, 2006, 01:25 pm

phoenix_fire,

You still haven't proven that FSM is "obviously wrong."

Please do so.

~ zynner

phoenix_fire · Mar 1, 2006, 04:35 pm

Quote:

Quote by: RickSp

To annoy you and you alone? Sounds more than a bit paranoid to me.
What right do you have to dictate to me what I believe or do not believe? Be careful. You might damage the wall. And there is no contemporary evidence of the existence of a historical Jesus. Do please be careful with that wall.

In this thread, yes. I rather imagine you would do it to anyone to which it applied, but right now you're doing it to me.

I'm not dictating what you believe. I'm just calling your bluff. The charade has far outlived whatever initial virtue you must have found in it.

I only said I was contemplating banging my head against the wall. If I said that I actually did, then I imagine that anything I said further would be attributed to the resultant brain trauma.

Feb 28, 2006, 05:31 pm	#1 (permalink) (top)
Lullaby Chainer Posts: 3,014	The Truths of FSM Dear freinds, I have recently been converted, peacefully, to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. I believe firmley in FSMism and believe there is much proof in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease. I suggest you all buy a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster from http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081...books&v=glance Consider that we are without question the most peaceful religion in existence, with zero documented deaths attributed to us, as opposed to - as an example - Christians who are responsible for millions of deaths (note to angry Christians: the Crusades). And, don't forget about our important scientific research. We've established that there is a statistically significant relationship between the declining pirate population and global temperature. Global warming is a serious problem, and the more pirate ships out there, the better for all of us - even the non-believers. If you have any questions or arguments, please feel free to post them and I will reply in a manner FSM would approve of. Last edited by Lullaby Chainer; Feb 28, 2006 at 05:33 pm.

Feb 28, 2006, 06:09 pm	#2 (permalink) (top)
phoenix_fire Paladin Location: Narnia Posts: 4,277	For those of you who are unaware (or have not figured it out yet), FSM is a spoof religion meant to parody predominantly Christianity. It has also been used to try to place Christians in the place of their detractors, the underlying assumption being that although the dogma is scientifically unproveable, it is nevertheless ridiculous (implying that it is a one-to-one comparision with theism). This makes the originators crass and overly simplistic mockers and the adherents pandering dupes. In short, it is an embarrassment to those who would raise more dignified objections to theism. To the believers on this board, I would say do not legitimize this argument with a response. To the athiests and agnostics on this board, I would say not to waste your time. P.S. (to Chained) Carbon 14 would not decay "by electron emission" to Nitrogen 14. Basic high school chemistry can tell you that the difference between elements is in the number of protons. The number of electrons determines the difference between isotopes of the same element. Your scientific veracity is on par with the veracity of your theology. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. -- Song 8:6 Last edited by phoenix_fire; Feb 28, 2006 at 06:14 pm.

Feb 28, 2006, 06:18 pm	#4 (permalink) (top)
RickSp Volcanic Erupter Posts: 9,491	Oh please phoenix, lighten up. The Flying Spaghetti Monster, glory be its name, was created specifically in response to the Kansas "intelligent design" nonsense. If intelligent design, so called, is a valid scientific theory, then so is the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is a good natured spoof on overly tightly wound Christians who claim that ID is not creationism. And from your overwrought response phoenix you appear to be one of them Rick "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis

Feb 28, 2006, 07:38 pm	#5 (permalink) (top)
phoenix_fire Paladin Location: Narnia Posts: 4,277	Rick, I see that you have fallen into the trap that I described above. FSM is the Catch-22 of theological discourse. It's wrong, obviously, but within its own twisted system of thinking, it sounds like truth. As I said before: FSM and theism are not a one-to-one comparison. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. -- Song 8:6

Feb 28, 2006, 08:37 pm	#10 (permalink) (top)
Morgan_Freeman Illogic Hunter Location: Seattle Posts: 2,385	Uhh.. please disregard. "A republic, if you can keep it." -- Benjamin Franklin Free State Project freestateproject.org Last edited by Morgan_Freeman; Feb 28, 2006 at 08:42 pm.

Feb 28, 2006, 06:18 pm	#3 (permalink) (top)
Lullaby Chainer Posts: 3,014	FSMism is not a spoof religion!! >< How dare you question my right to believe the TRUTH!! Oh and, I never noted how smart the scientist was. Perhaps he didn't go to highschool like you obviously have.

Feb 28, 2006, 10:42 pm	#12 (permalink) (top)
phoenix_fire Paladin Location: Narnia Posts: 4,277	That is precisely the point that FSM tries to forward. Ladies and gentlemen, we're talking apples and phase coils here. The origin of FSM can be easily and beyond doubt be traced to a person, with the sole nefarious intent to lampoon Christianity. The same cannot be said about Christianity itself. Whatever you think of the origin, the followers are in earnest. FSM is a spoof. Christianity is not. There is a difference. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. -- Song 8:6

Mar 1, 2006, 09:30 am	#15 (permalink) (top)
RickSp Volcanic Erupter Posts: 9,491	Yo Phoenix the FSM can be traced to one person whose intention was not to ridicule Christianity per se, but to point out the falsehoods of those who claimed that ID had nothing to so with a specific religion. She was in fact ridiculing certain Chrsitians who were lying through their teeth. Unless you considering telling lies to be a Christian virtue, you are missing the point entirely. On the other hand, your oddly strident response may only demonstrate the power and wisdom of the Pastafarian faith. All glory to the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Rick "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis

Mar 1, 2006, 01:25 pm	#19 (permalink) (top)
zynner Hot Lava Posts: 817	phoenix_fire, You still haven't proven that FSM is "obviously wrong." Please do so. ~ zynner