Why do things like this happen?

[orgaelin]

A very unlikely coincidence occured today.

I waited at the bus-stop this morning, and while I waited I chatted to an old college friend who catches the same bus as me. I casually asked her if she had been in touch with any of the people we used to know back in college, 10 years ago.

She gave a few names, most of which I knew, but then she mentioned "Michelle". I explained that I was good with faces but not names, and couldn't remember who she was talking about. It had been 10 years after all.

So any way, later on today I was shopping with my wife when I was suddenly caused to remember who Michelle was, because she was there in the supermarket!! So here was this woman who I hadn't seen in 10 years and on the exact day that I discuss her for the first time in those ten years, she appears right there!

I was more than a little blown away. Why is that coincidences as hugely unlikely as this one seem to be so common? I mean, they don't happen every day, but the fact is that they seem to occur more often than chance would allow.

My own belief is that chance events like this happen for a reason. I'm not saying that the sisters of fate are colluding to control our every interaction, or that some other devine overseer is secretly running everything from behind the scenes. But something external to our awareness seems to have a hand in the way things play out.

Another idea I have about it is that the coincidence could have been triggered by a chaos-like chain of events passed on through the unconscious minds of the persons involved.

Any other ideas? I'd like to hear from someone who feels there is nothing unusual about this, and hear how you explain it away.

~ Org.

[PatrickHenry]

Org, why ask why? OTOH, did you speak to Michelle? Maybe there was something you needed to say?

I believe that coincidences occur, but I also think that the universe (or God) creates unique opportunities for specific interaction that may be of unknown importance...<=What rhetorical bullshit...

[Nono]

Quote by: orgaelin Why do things like this happen?

I don't know. The phenomenon has certainly caught the eye of many fine thinkers (Jung, Koestler, etc.).

It's been suggested that in fact it doesn't happen. That is, it's simply blind chance, only when blind chance produces this coincidence you say "Hey, why did this happen?", something you don't say when the person you see in the supermarket is a total stranger.

On the other hand, what exactly is "blind chance"? This is something that Arthur Koestler has written fascinatingly about in his book "Janus: A summing up".

[orgaelin]

Patrick,

Why ask why? A damn good question, and one I needed to be reminded of! Truth is, it doesn't matter whether it was devine, some secret service plot, or chance. The end result is no less... what it was.

I did speak to her. Nothing profound to report though. Just exchanged a few brief updates, how many kids you got, etc. Maybe there was something in it I haven't recognised the significance of yet. She was always intriguing... hideously unattractive, but fun, and outrageously confident.

Nono. I have read a similar explanation somewhere too. If you consider the number of strangers you pass in that ten year period, then the fact that one of them was someone you once knew in amongst millions and millions of passed strangers... it isn't really that unexpected.

But I believe that's looking at it from the wrong perspective. If there is one. For me, the situation as described is to be taken on its own, looked at for what it meant to me in that moment. But that's down to preference. We can see significance in things or not, and if we do then there is signficance and if we don't then there isn't.

~ Org.

[tman_ndsu08]

Quote by: orgaelin A very unlikely coincidence occured today. I waited at the bus-stop this morning, and while I waited I chatted to an old college friend who catches the same bus as me. I casually asked her if she had been in touch with any of the people we used to know back in college, 10 years ago. She gave a few names, most of which I knew, but then she mentioned "Michelle". I explained that I was good with faces but not names, and couldn't remember who she was talking about. It had been 10 years after all. So any way, later on today I was shopping with my wife when I was suddenly caused to remember who Michelle was, because she was there in the supermarket!! So here was this woman who I hadn't seen in 10 years and on the exact day that I discuss her for the first time in those ten years, she appears right there! I was more than a little blown away. Why is that coincidences as hugely unlikely as this one seem to be so common? I mean, they don't happen every day, but the fact is that they seem to occur more often than chance would allow. My own belief is that chance events like this happen for a reason. I'm not saying that the sisters of fate are colluding to control our every interaction, or that some other devine overseer is secretly running everything from behind the scenes. But something external to our awareness seems to have a hand in the way things play out. Another idea I have about it is that the coincidence could have been triggered by a chaos-like chain of events passed on through the unconscious minds of the persons involved. Any other ideas? I'd like to hear from someone who feels there is nothing unusual about this, and hear how you explain it away. ~ Org.

The way I look at it, all events are completely unrelated no matter how much our brains try to connect them.

You see, making connections is all our brains are good for. It trys to connect events together by what it believes to be common characteristics.

However, I feel that no events ever share anything in common. They're all completely irrelevent, arbitrary states of randomly interacting matter.

IE, the fact that you've drawn the connection between discussion Michelle and then running into her on the same day is completely irrelevent in any possible way (the fact that it was the same day, the fact that it was the same person, etc.).

[orgaelin]

Now here is where I am weird, tman, because I totally agree with your point of view and consider it to be valid, but I also agree with my own, supposedly opposite point of view.

It's a bit like philosophical relativity, where we can both hold opposing perceptions and both be right. It's all a matter of choice. I view there being some kind of metaphysical significance to the events I described, and you view none. Different perspectives, but both right for our own selves. There is no 'objective truth' on this one.

~ Org.

[tman_ndsu08]

It may feel right to you that there is some connection since the feelings and experiances are much stronger. But for me, not having those experiances and feelings, I can sit back and be objective.

Plus I think my way of looking at it is the simplest possible way. And the universe is all about simplicity.

[Rave7pt0]

I think contrary to popular belief, there is an underlying pattern to the universe (really a pattern of patterns, like a huge hyperdimensional fractal). Things like this, I think, are an expression of that pattern.

One piece of evidence I have for this (but can't link to, b/c I've lost the report) is a study someone did on crowds. He tracked the movement of people leaving a studium (I believe), and then plotted the movements graphically. This movement which "must" have been random, since it was just "random" people going where ever the pleased, turned out to be a fractal. I saw the graph, and it looks like the graph of a mathematical function, not the random movement of people. My wife (whose current field is math, and who brought this up to me) is working on an article on this very subject, and I'll post it up when it's done if I remember.

[tman_ndsu08]

Quote by: Rave7pt0 I think contrary to popular belief, there is an underlying pattern to the universe (really a pattern of patterns, like a huge hyperdimensional fractal). Things like this, I think, are an expression of that pattern. One piece of evidence I have for this (but can't link to, b/c I've lost the report) is a study someone did on crowds. He tracked the movement of people leaving a studium (I believe), and then plotted the movements graphically. This movement which "must" have been random, since it was just "random" people going where ever the pleased, turned out to be a fractal. I saw the graph, and it looks like the graph of a mathematical function, not the random movement of people. My wife (whose current field is math, and who brought this up to me) is working on an article on this very subject, and I'll post it up when it's done if I remember.

The problem with that is that the people weren't moving randomly. They all were trying to leave with the knowledge that there are only certain paths in which will allow this to happen.

I don't think it's possible for the human mind to produce random action.

If someone asks you for a random number, I think there is always some reason for the number you give.

The same if someone asks you to walk in a random way. There is always a reason you're choosing the path you take.

[rez]

Lets look at this rationally and realisticly. First, you talk to a college friend from 10 years ago at a bus stop consistently. This to me is very unlikely and just shows that since there is 1 friend from the past around where you live, then there could be MORE. Second, when your friend described who Michelle was - your memory kicked in. You now have the mental image of Michelle.

So as your in the supermarket shopping you see Michelle, but since you want to over dramatize the unpredictability of coincidence, you forget to think to yourself - maybe I saw her in this very supermarket many times before - only this time my memory was jogged by my college friend from 10 years ago.


Heres another explaination which is basically the same as above just alittle more detailed....

You may have saw Michelle subconsciously at the supermarket before you ever had the dialogue with your friend at the bus stop. The reason why you casually asked if your friend from the bus stop was in contact with anybody from 10 years ago was because you were subconsciously interested in learning what people from your past were doing in the present, meaning you subconsciously saw Michelle at the supermarket before and you subconsciously wanted to know what Michelle and others were doing with their present lives.

The fact that you saw Michelle without knowing, jogged your memory and feelings. Most likely you wanted to find out what your friends from college were doing with their present lives and since you saw Michelle without knowing it you asked your friend at the bus stop. Once your friend jogged your memory of what Michelle looked like you spoted her out, knowing fully aware of who she was and what she looked like, even though you saw her many times before at the supermarket. To be able to test my theory you need to either ask Michelle if she shopped at the market before or if you actually see her again and again.

To me this is much MUCH more interesting then that pre-destination bullshit or that god sent you to meet her to ask a question. What I typed shows how memory can be a very powerful thing.

people find superstitous answers and the truth becomes foggy as to what and how our brains are working.
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This happens to everybody in the world, its only up to you how you interpret the events - try not to cloud the mind.

[Lilith]

"Synchronocity"....that's the term that I have come to learn to describe these events. I think Jung expounded on it.

I believe that we create our reality, you are what you think you are. I think since you were thinking about this girl and had just talked about her, then there she was, maybe your thoughts manifested her. She was there in the same place and time, because maybe at some unconcious level she was drawn to that place. I don't know, that prob sounds crazy. I believe our thoughts are energy and have the power to create.

Like when people get together to pray for someone or something and then what they are praying for happens. Say they are praying for someone to get well and that person gets well. All these people were concetrating thier thoughts and were able to cause something to happen. That's why I believe in prayer, even though I am not what you call *religious*....because prayer, to me, is projecting your thoughts out and trying to get something to manifest.

Here's another example...the other night I was at work and I was thinking about my sister, we are quite close and usually talk to each other on a daily basis, if not every other day. So I decided to call her. I did, but her line was busy. I hang up and one of the lines at work ring, I pick up and it's her. Her line was busy because she was trying to call me at the same time. Pretty cool! We both were thinking about each other at the same time and decided to talk to each other. Maybe this girl you have not seen in 10 years was thinking about you at the same time, some passing thought and then bam! You see each other in the store.

Has the phone ever rang and you know who it is, before you ever pick it up, without caller ID? I do that all the time. It's like we are all connected in some way, our thoughts.

[Julian]

Quote by: Lilith "Synchronocity"....that's the term that I have come to learn to describe these events. I think Jung expounded on it. I believe that we create our reality, you are what you think you are. I think since you were thinking about this girl and had just talked about her, then there she was, maybe your thoughts manifested her. She was there in the same place and time, because maybe at some unconcious level she was drawn to that place. I don't know, that prob sounds crazy. I believe our thoughts are energy and have the power to create. Like when people get together to pray for someone or something and then what they are praying for happens. Say they are praying for someone to get well and that person gets well. All these people were concetrating thier thoughts and were able to cause something to happen. That's why I believe in prayer, even though I am not what you call *religious*....because prayer, to me, is projecting your thoughts out and trying to get something to manifest. Here's another example...the other night I was at work and I was thinking about my sister, we are quite close and usually talk to each other on a daily basis, if not every other day. So I decided to call her. I did, but her line was busy. I hang up and one of the lines at work ring, I pick up and it's her. Her line was busy because she was trying to call me at the same time. Pretty cool! We both were thinking about each other at the same time and decided to talk to each other. Maybe this girl you have not seen in 10 years was thinking about you at the same time, some passing thought and then bam! You see each other in the store. Has the phone ever rang and you know who it is, before you ever pick it up, without caller ID? I do that all the time. It's like we are all connected in some way, our thoughts.

Currently I am interested in the work of parapsychology and "psychic" events. I have been studying it for some time, and the most common example used is:

For some odd reason, I thought about a friend from long ago who I had not thought about in years and years. A minute later, the phone rang.

From what I understand, all human minds project thoughts and emotions. When two people think of each other, out of love or whatever else, the two thoughts travel within a non-physical world and "bump", so to speak, and some kind of psychic connection is created.

There is no such thing as coincidence, it goes to say afterwards.

Still studying though.

[MerlinsByte]

Any other ideas? I'd like to hear from someone who feels there is nothing unusual about this, and hear how you explain it away.

Isn't it wonderful and creepy when something like that happens? I have my own super weird and correct theory why this happens, but its much too long to go into here. I suspect that the bean counter types would say that an event like you described is kinda like winning the lottery.

The chances against it might be 999,999,999,999 to 1 but hey this was your luck day! Give me a winning lotto ticket any day.

Ok, ok, the real reason that this happened is because ...nah ya all would poke fun at me..

mb

[Lilith]

Quote by: Julian From what I understand, all human minds project thoughts and emotions. When two people think of each other, out of love or whatever else, the two thoughts travel within a non-physical world and "bump", so to speak, and some kind of psychic connection is created. There is no such thing as coincidence, it goes to say afterwards.

That's pretty cool, Julian. Nothing happens by accident? Everything happens for a reason? I can dig it.

[LogicaLunatic]

Occurences like this are numerous because the number of chances for amazing coincidences is huge.

We live in a global community...

Say this event had a 1 in a 1,000,000 chance of happening. Take that and divide it into the number of people on earth (assuming roughly 6.5 Bil) and you get 6,500. So as you experienced this, roughly 6,500 people had an experience that appeared just as unlikely. With that many you're bound to hear of one of them, thus making things like this seem more common.

But say you lived in a nomadic tribe consisting of only 30 people? How often would something like this occur in your world?

Not that often. And it just so happens that our brains spent most of their time evolving in this environment where coincidences such as this occured perhaps 3 times a decade. That is why these things seem amazing and beyond belief... On an evolutionary time scale, we're just not used to it yet.

LL

[rcne]

I prefer to see this as an omen. Jump to the alternative solution. Leave the past - build a new future with a new woman.

Or, it could just be chance ~sigh~

[LogicaLunatic]

How about the old, "I was just picking up the phone to call so and so and when I lifted the receiver they were on the other end."

If it's two people that talk all the time then it isn't that odd. But say it's two people that haven't spoken for a year? What could cause this?

It COULD be just a coincidence but it could also be something else. Usually it's something that triggers a memory in both people who then decide to call eachother. Maybe both heard of a band that is coming to town who's concert they attended together? The possibilities are endless.