I don't know where to post this

[TheInterpreter]

This was originally intended to be my suicide note.

I am sad, fearful, and indifferent. I feel lost. My dream, my goal, of becoming a successful translator is waning. My ambition for life is fading. I am not living anymore, I have stopped reading and studying. I have stopped building my future. I have lost my motivation and myself. I am silent, a man of few words who rarely smiles and does not laugh at the jokes around him. I am very lonely and surround myself with very few companions. I feel as though the world has abandoned me. Of those in the world, the ones who have hurt me the most are those quixotic and enigmatic creatures known simply as woman have caused me more pain then is imaginable.

There is no love in this world. Women claim to be superior to men. They claim to be less superficial, less so-called "shallow", caring more about personality and wit instead of appearances. This is a lie and a fraud. Do not be deceived, women only care about superficial qualities. Womanly love is only conditional. They only care for a man if he has a large manhood, good looks, or money.

How does it feel to be without such a necessary feeling as love? People only love and adore that which meets their criteria. My family is ignorant of the true nature of my religious and socio-political beliefs. If they do, by some fate, discover the truth, then I would be most surely disowned and ridiculed. They do not love, and do not wish to, my true self. They only wish to love the ideal me, my fake self.

Everyone has abandoned me. My friends and family have all left me in complete and utter loneliness. Can you imagine the feeling of coming home to an empty apartment day in and day out? To those friends and relatives who have tried to treat my loneliness, I thank you, but it has not done very much to cease the agony of my soul.
All I think and care about now is to take revenge on my life and my weakness. I hate everyone for leaving me like this. I hate myself. I want to take as many people with me as possible. I want to tear friendships, relationships, and families asunder. I do not wish to suffer alone. Why must I suffer alone? I will take revenge; I will defend myself. I will make people understand my pain; know my suffering.

Everyone is culpable for my suffering, yes, even myself, so everyone must face judgment. There is no innocent. The "innocent" are without excuse for they were complacent. The failed to rebuke their neighbors so they shall be rebuked along with them. I hate the judgmental women. They shall be made to suffer greatly for their crimes against me.

Can you possibly imagine the shock of the realization that you will die unloved and alone? How would you handle it? Could you handle it?

[Maryjane]

A debate site isn't the best place to go if you're suicidal.No one knows if you're for real or not...this is the internet after all. Call a suicide hotline or come to the chat room if you want to talk.

[SoylentGreen]

Depression has the effect of making the world look like a giant jigsaw puzzle with all the beautiful, worthwhile pieces missing. You know what the picture should look like but can't see it. On one hand for example you say:

Everyone has abandoned me. My friends and family have all left me in complete and utter loneliness.

but then you also say:

To those friends and relatives who have tried to treat my loneliness, I thank you, but it has not done very much to cease the agony of my soul.

People have tried to help you, but all you are feeling is pain and anger.You obviously feel betrayed by someone and it may take some time before you are able to overcome that, but think back: you felt better about the world at some other stage, try to find some of those good feelings again.

As to your final question, a great part of human endeavour is destined just to prevent that outcome.Could I handle the realisation that I would die unloved and alone? No. That's why we reach out to other people, family, friends, counsellors, social agencies, for help when life takes a downward spiral. As you need to.

[DavidSupreme]

You could consider suicide rather pointless, when you die your dead, you are no longer.

So with that in mind, if life is so bad now, whatever it is mental or physical (not getting laid enough? Think having "friends" are important etc) sucide would be completely pointless. Why not live the useless life you got? Perhaps you going to find happiness?

If you go kill yourself, you know you wont, because you will be dead, and thats it.

[Cephus]

I absolutely never take claims of suicide seriously, especially online. If they were serious and were going to do it, they'd be dead by now. Crying out for help from complete strangers is pointless.

Either do it or don't, make up your own mind, but don't troll the debate forums with it.

[2Complicated]

If you are going to kill yourself, you should just OD on life. You no longer have anything of value to lose, but you have everything of value to gain, so why not go all in on every hand? You are in an enviable position my friend. Go sky diving. Ask out the most gorgeous girl in the room. Fuck the future. Fuck the past. Place your bets and have some fun. Life will kill you eventually no matter what, why not take as much as you can from that bitch before she shuts you down for good?

[Angry Citizen]

Your life is fucked up not because of others, but because of yourself. You live in a place with access to high speed internet, where you can reach out and touch as many people as you wish from across the entire planet, and what do you do? You bitch and complain and whine about how your life is oh-so-hard. I wouldn't want to hang around you either if that is the first thing you think to do in a social environment. If only you could meet the true victims in life; then you'd realize just how amazing yours really is; how lucky you are that you have the luxury of ending your life as you see fit, rather than enduring the weeks-long agony of, say, starvation:



I wouldn't want to spend time around anyone who was humorless, quiet, moping about like some ghost. I wouldn't want to spend time around anyone who was too afraid to be open and honest with other people. Maybe if you opened up and revealed who you really were, you wouldn't be so lonely. You bitch and moan about how your family would disown you if they knew how you felt on certain things. How would you know? Indeed, why would you care? They clearly don't love the person you are now anyway. In my experience, people are too happy that you're being true to yourself and to others to care about your philosophical differences.

But you know what, go for it. Kill yourself. Heaven knows you don't sound like the person to try bettering yourself. All you want is the easy way out. You want to hurt others because you're too afraid to let them in; so do it. Do what you have to do. Speaking as the son of a parent who committed suicide, I promise you, if you really want to hurt others, then suicide is a great way to do it. Just don't expect people to think how amazing it'd be if you'd lived, or how sad it was that you were sick. No... we'll think how cruel you were. If that's what you want your legacy to be, then go for it. Simple as that.

[2Complicated]

I didn't really read your post through. I should have.

If you are alone, how can you share your suffering? If you can share your suffering(and not simply bring new, unrelated suffering into the world), can't you share your love? If you can share anything, you are not alone. If you can love, love exists. If love exists, and it is in you, why not make the sharing of that love your purpose?
Women, oh brother. They are not what you thought they were, nor are they what you think. Women are just people. They can love for many reasons, they can stop loving for many reasons. They can like and call it love, they can lust and say its forever. So can you. True love may not be real, but love certainly is, and it is freakin sweet. Love, true or no, is more than enough reason to stick around. Look, anything you can think or feel, someone else can too. If you can love someone unconditionally, someone else can too. If you can think you love someone then realise you don't, someone else can too. If you can share your love with someone, someone can share their love with you. Its logic baby.

[pbxilixdq]

TheInterpreter, I'm not even going to read your post. I'm going to guess there's a lot of pain and hopelessness in it.

No matter how bad your situation is, suicide is boring. Once you're dead you'll be dead for an eternity. This is the only period of time that you're allowed the unique opportunity to be awake and aware of existence. Why rush death? You'll find an eternity of painless nonexistence someday. Might as well enjoy your misery for the brief time you can. Hell, you should even be thankful for your misery. You won the lottery just being alive.

[minorwork]

Buy all the lotto tickets you can afford that will be drawn for a year from now. Something to look forward to.

Women? Seriously they are not worth the trouble. You're having a Dark Night of the Soul. As bad as it is, be brave that later thou canst bear more rapture in the Ocean of Love and Mercy from your increasing ability to withstand your experiences near the negative pole of existence.

Rest assured that you are not the first, nor will you be the last to experience this personal event. Do not let the experience go to waste. Return. Discipline your mind by practice of concentration. Think you that, were the sword sentient, it would enjoy getting heated, quenched, and beaten back repeatedly? The end result gains by the pursuit.

[CharlieK]

Please seek help from a professional.

[Oxide]

If I were presented with a personal situation matching the one described, I'd eventually figure out that whatever was causing me to think that way initially has very little actual basis in my life. Bearing in mind this is generalizing somewhat and entirely opinion-based, but I'd also attribute the same eventual epiphany to your situation.

Maybe if you weren't presenting this story to the members of an online debate forum, you'd garner more favourable responses. But as it stands, I'd suggest either speaking to someone you trust or, as CharlieK said:

Please seek help from a professional.