How Did He Become Gay

[Not You Again]

I have a close friend who is Gay, during his childhood he was abused by paedophiles, now in his adult hood, although he’s been in a long term relationship, he has difficulty understanding where his sexuality came from.

He thinks being abused as a child turned him Gay.

I believe it was within his “genes”

Any opinions?

[Rhi]

There's a theory that homosexuality comes from a chemical unbalance of chromosomes in the brain.

I reckon he was gay right from the start, and being abused has absolutely nothing to do with it.

[Jagged]

Quote by: Rhi There's a theory that homosexuality comes from a chemical unbalance of chromosomes in the brain. I reckon he was gay right from the start, and being abused has absolutely nothing to do with it.

I thought you were going to say something intelligent until i saw the word "chromosomes"

I'd say it probably a combination of both. I have two gay teachers and both, separately, have told me that the first time they had sex (they didnt tell me if it was heterosexual or homosexual) was when they were 10 and 8 years old, respectively. (Also, don't think it's weird or anything, it was when he was drunk off the job) Coincidence? I feel something psychological must've happened.

[Jimmy the Pro]

Sometimes people do not discover their own sexuality and sexual tendencies until later in life. It seems too Freudian for me to say that serioius sexual tension caused this life altering change.

Perhaps there are things in his life, such as experiences with women that could prove just the opposite of the phedophiliac encounters, or rather these encounters with fems could show that his sexual preference may have been rooted in homosexuality from the beginning.

In short, I believe that to explore his sexual preference, one must look deeper than just these encounters with some not so good persons.

[Rhi]

Quote by: Jagged I thought you were going to say something intelligent until i saw the word "chromosomes"

You're right.
There's a theory that homosexuality comes from a size difference on neurons in the brain. Some scientists say the size is similar to that of a heterosexual woman.
My bad.

Even so, I still stand by my previous statement.
I seriously doubt that these encounters would cause change on his sexual orientation.
If anything, I probably guess they'd push it the other way.
Being abused is a bad thing, so why would he follow it?
Presuming he was abused by a male, of course.

[Jack]

Do any of us know without a doubt where our preferences came from?
Speaking personally, I can say from the time I was 10 or so I can remember being attracted equally to boys and girls, with a bit of a preference for boys. As I aged, those preferences were confirmed. But why they are my preferences, I haven't a clue.

[Not You Again]

Quote by: Isherwood Do any of us know without a doubt where our preferences came from? Speaking personally, I can say from the time I was 10 or so I can remember being attracted equally to boys and girls, with a bit of a preference for boys. As I aged, those preferences were confirmed. But why they are my preferences, I haven't a clue.

I think that sums up how he feels

[Jagged]

Quote by: Rhi You're right. Even so, I still stand by my previous statement.

Which was

There's a theory that homosexuality comes from a chemical unbalance of chromosomes in the brain.

Do you know what a chromosome is?


Yeah, I remember me being really worried that i was gay for a long time.

[Rhi]

Quote by: Jagged Do you know what a chromosome is?

Yes.
I corrected myself on that one.

I was talking about this:

Quote by: Rhi I reckon he was gay right from the start, and being abused has absolutely nothing to do with it.

And, if you would have read on further on my second post, you would see that I followed my thoughts onto that.

[SoylentGreen]

I believe it was within his “Jeans”

I have found that dress sense among the gay community can be a bit over the top but I doubt if it is a cause .

Speaking personally, I can say from the time I was 10 or so I can remember being attracted equally to boys and girls, with a bit of a preference for boys. As I aged, those preferences were confirmed. But why they are my preferences, I haven't a clue.

I can say the same along with experimenting with those feelings as a teenager and young man. But as I grew older my tastes definitly went towards women. And like you I don't really know why.

[Jack]

I believe it was within his “Jeans”

What's within his genes may or may not have had much to do with his being gay, but what's within his jeans will certainly let him enjoy being gay.

[Not You Again]

Quote by: Isherwood What's within his genes may or may not have had much to do with his being gay, but what's within his jeans will certainly let him enjoy being gay.

I knew when I typed it, dam, it sure didn't look right. :eek::eek:

[Jack]

One of my own little humorous observations: Gay men know for a fact that homosexuality is genetic. I don't know a one that isn't fascinated by what's in his jeans...

[Jack]

By the way, I appreciated how you introduced this topic. Many people use the "some of my best friends are gay" line, and it always sounds so pathetic. Your matter-of-fact, unapologetic comment was refreshing. Evidently your friend has good taste in companions.

My best friend of 30 years, former lover, roommate, the one I call my insignificant other, is completely gay. I've had an equal number of boy and girlfriends, perhaps 15 or so of each. I actually feel less gay than Marty. So sometimes I find myself saying, "my best friend's gay" in a conversation while thinking, "geez, that makes me sound so...straight."

[Not You Again]

Your comment would have more of an effect if it sounded like this:

Quote by: Isherwood I don't know one that isn't fascinated by what's in his jeans...

Rather than like this:

Quote by: Isherwood Gay men know for a fact that homosexuality is genetic. I don't know a one that isn't fascinated by what's in his jeans...

You should delete the a

[Jack]

Jeez, everybody's an editor.

[Night]

Quote by: Rhi You're right. There's a theory that homosexuality comes from a size difference on neurons in the brain. Some scientists say the size is similar to that of a heterosexual woman. My bad. Even so, I still stand by my previous statement. I seriously doubt that these encounters would cause change on his sexual orientation. If anything, I probably guess they'd push it the other way. Being abused is a bad thing, so why would he follow it? Presuming he was abused by a male, of course.

Neurons in the size of a gay man is the same size in that of a straight man...

It's the INAH-3 area of the brain whose functions aren't completely understood, although it has something to do with smell.

[Heather]

Quote by: Not You Again I have a close friend who is Gay, during his childhood he was abused by paedophiles, now in his adult hood, although he’s been in a long term relationship, he has difficulty understanding where his sexuality came from. He thinks being abused as a child turned him Gay. I believe it was within his “genes” Any opinions?

I'll share a personal story with you.

I have a cousin who was severely sexual abused by his father starting from a very young age. As a young teen when he began to experience his own sexual desires, not knowing how to properly express them since he had learned from his own father a way of expressing that is unnatural, he began molesting other boys, mostly boys in his church. Someone eventually said something and the whole thing came out about my cousin being sexually abused by his own father, etc. My cousin ended up becoming the "black sheep" of the family because of it. His own sister refused to associate with him in any way (she too was involved in this abuse perpetuated by their dad, I think you can fill in the blanks as to why she didn't want to see her own brother once this came out). Because he could not specify a specific date when his father had abused him, his father went unpunished. He ended up in a rehab center because of the molestation of the other church boys. I remember going to visit him. What a sad business that was. My dad, myself, my uncle, and another one of my cousins had to "sneak" out to go visit with him because the rest of the family didn't know what to make of him anymore.

He became extremely confused about himself sexually. And understandably so. He never had a chance to figure himself out, that personal choice was thrust upon him before he could even begin to make heads or tails of it. At this point, he thought he was gay, but really didn't know. He was so lost when it came to sex.

For several years as an adult he lived with his male partner, but I understand they recently they broke up and he's been in and out of drug rehab centers. No one has heard from him for several months.

My point is, it is widely accepted that sexual abuse does cause sexual dysfunction. Please note I am not calling homosexuality a sexual dysfunction. What I am saying is that sexual abuse will almost always cause the victim to have a number of problems throughout their life concerning sex, their sexuality, their own genitalia, etc.

[Rhi]

Quote by: Night Neurons in the size of a gay man is the same size in that of a straight man... It's the INAH-3 area of the brain whose functions aren't completely understood, although it has something to do with smell.

It's the size of the neurons that make up INAH-3, isn't it?

[Night]

Quote by: Rhi It's the size of the neurons that make up INAH-3, isn't it?

Not just neurons, but thousands of regular brain cells, etc (the INAH-3 is extraordinarily small, almost as small as the period at the end of this sentence).

What a sad story Heather :(