Cultivating your will

[Captain Chaos]

For Mia...

When you smoke, is it something you truly desire, or are you in conflict with yourself? In other words, would you stop if you could?

[The Bacon Guy]

Quote by: Kamehameha Your will can be strengthened, but you can not strengthen it. It strengthens with every ordeal that tests it.

I disagree. Your will is inexorably linked to your desire, i.e your will follows the path of your greatest desire. A change in desire means a change in will. Desires can be strengthened or weakened, depending on how you think about them. The desire to smoke can be changed by thinking about the long term consequences of the habit or, in Xyzer's case, the financial aspects of it. By thinking more deeply about smoking and its pros, cons and consequences, you have personally changed your desire to smoke and therefore increased your will.

[Captain Chaos]

I experimented with this concept this morning.

I want to start a business building children's play tables. At the same time, I also like to goof off in the mornings before work - playing Star Wars Battle Front or online scrabble or something like that.

The thing is, when I goof off, I do not really feel all that great afterwards, because it just seems so meaningless. When I create something, though, I feel rather fulfilled. This morning, I really wanted to goof off. However, I made a conscious choice to hold in my mind - not just think about it but actually hold the thought in my mind for the entire time - an awareness of the consequences of my actions.

A simple way to think it is being mindful of the consequences of my choices.

When I held in mind how much better I would feel after getting out in the garage and doing some creating, it altered my will. Not at first - but, with a couple minutes of holding it in my mind (while showering) the desire to work in my garage grew within me, and thus I made the choice to work in my garage (on shelves actually, but I have to get that done before I can get to my second prototype play table).

I feel much happier for having made the right choice.


(thanks for your input on this concept Bacon)

[Mia]

Quote by: Captain Chaos For Mia... When you smoke, is it something you truly desire, or are you in conflict with yourself? In other words, would you stop if you could?

I would stop if it weren't so hard to. I enjoy maybe 1/2 of the cigarettes that I smoke. The rest are to avoid the feelings that come with going without.

[Captain Chaos]

So, if smoking felt worse than putting up with withdrawal symptoms, it would be much easier to quit?

[brien]

Quote by: Captain Chaos How do you do it? How do you acquire self discipline if you currently lack it? How do you alter yourself so that you come to want to do something that you previously did not want to do, even though you felt you should do it? How do you eliminate desires you wish you did not have?

You decide to do that which you haven't previously wished to do by finding some good aspect of it and focusing upon it.

Desires you wish you didn't have? This is one for the couch. Desires are much more complicated and they can become compulsions if you allow them. Good desires don't need to be eliminated so I assume you mean abnormal desires. This needs to be worked on by both the patient and the Psychologist or Psychiatrist.

[Mia]

Quote by: Captain Chaos So, if smoking felt worse than putting up with withdrawal symptoms, it would be much easier to quit?

Of course. It is natural to follow the path of least resistance. For an addict, we have to either make a decision and use a tremendous amount of willpower to overcome it, or have the addiction become more painful than quitting, termed 'hitting bottom'

.

[Captain Chaos]

Can you list for me the positives and negatives of both quitting and continuing, as you see them?