In the Beginning...
God created Heaven and Earth.
Quickly, he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the Cease and Desist Order for the "earthly" part.
Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why He began His earthly project in the first place. He replied that He just liked to be creative.
The God said, "Let there be light!", and intermediately, the officials wanted to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained the light would come from a huge ball of fire. GOd was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire; that we would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said He would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night.
Officials replied they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the Earth bring forth green herd and such as many seed". The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. The God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth". Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Fish and Wildlife coordinated with the Heavenly Game Federation and the Audubongelic Society.
Everything was OK until God said He wanted to complete the project in Six Days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the application and impact statement. After that, there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before......
It was at this point that God created Hell.
Here Endth the Lesson!