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Son of Belial · Dec 2, 2005, 08:03 pm

I'm not using it on anyone else, silly.

Critter · Dec 2, 2005, 08:08 pm

Doesn't matter.

Son of Belial · Dec 2, 2005, 08:18 pm

You know it's a joke. I already said I'd use sleeping pills.

Scribbler1 · Dec 2, 2005, 08:38 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Critter

Nah, just for another 15 years or so, and "Tired for 15 years or so" won't fit.

Neither will, "Tired of buying cat food every week", "Tired of having shredded furniture", or "Tired of cleaning litterboxes."

Try "TIREDx10"

Critter · Dec 2, 2005, 08:55 pm

There ya go.

Scribbler1 · Dec 2, 2005, 09:08 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Critter

There ya go.

not bad. Descriptive yet vague.

Son of Belial · Dec 2, 2005, 10:18 pm

Article about Critter:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10296403/

**Chris** · Dec 2, 2005, 11:22 pm

heh,

do you think the lady changed the cats name to baby right before the fire dept. got there?

Critter · Dec 2, 2005, 11:30 pm

If not, I hope she fights it, personally. She didn't lie, they just misconstrued her statement.

Son of Belial · Dec 4, 2005, 03:51 am

Tools and Materials:

- Robe (unless rite is performed nude)
- "666" stamp and ink pad
- Bell
- Chalice
- Red Wine
- Hammer
- Nails
- Clay Figure
- Wooden Crucifix
- Scrolls (on which are written the long sections of text,
unless they have been memorized by the celebrants)

Officers:

- Priest
- Deacon
- Legate
- Power of the East
- Power of the North
- Power of the West
- Power of the South

The Rite:

The Celebrants (Apostates) either perform this ritual in robes, or nude.
After gathering outside of temple space, the Deacon addresses the group.

DEACON: NONE MAY PARTAKE OF THE BOUNTY OF THE DREAMING LORD UNTIL THEY HAVE TAKEN HIS MARK. THOSE WHO WOULD GAIN HIS BLESSINGS COME FORWARD TO RECEIVE THE MARK OF THE BEAST.

Each apostate goes in turn to receive the Mark, which is stamped onto their left hand. Last of all, the Deacon stamps the Priest, who in turn stamps the Deacon. The Apostates then follow the Priest and Deacon into the temple space.

The purification of the space is accomplished by the Legate, who takes a bell off of the altar and walks to the southern parameter of the space. S/he addresses each of the four corners, moving counterclockwise.

LEGATE: (at southern point) SATAN! HONOR US! (rings bell).

ALL: HAIL SATAN!

LEGATE: (crossing to eastern point) LUCIFER! ENLIGHTEN US! (rings bell).

ALL: HAIL LUCIFER!

LEGATE: (crossing to northern point) BELIAL! LIBERATE US! (rings bell).

ALL: HAIL BELIAL!

LEGATE: (crossing to western point) LEVIATHAN! PURIFY US! (rings bell).

ALL: HAIL LEVIATHAN!

PRIEST: LET US PRAY.

ALL: OUR FATHER WHOM ART IN HELL, HALLOWED BE THY NAME! THY KINGDOM IS COME, THY WILL IS DONE; ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HELL! WE TAKE THIS NIGHT OUR RIGHTFUL DUE, AND TRESPASS NOT ON PATHS OF PAIN. LEAD US UNTO TEMPTATION, AND DELIVER US FROM FALSE PIETY, FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER AND THE GLORY FOREVER! HAIL SATAN!

PRIEST: WE ARE GATHERED TO CELEBRATE THE RECRUCIFIXION OF THE ARCH-TRAITOR JESUS CHRIST, WHO DIED ON THE CROSS FOR HIS OWN SINS. BUT LET US FIRST DRINK THE BENEVOLENTLY OFFERED BLOOD OF OUR TRUE SAVIOR, WHO SUNDERED THE THRALL OF JEHOVAH AND FED US THE FRUITS OF THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE. HE JOINS US HERE AS WE TRIUMPHANTLY CELEBRATE THE ONGOING DEATH OF THE UNFORTUNATE PERPETRATOR OF JEHOVAH'S CUNNING SCHEMES. IF ANY WISH TO ABSTAIN FROM THESE FESTIVITIES, LET THEM LEAVE NOW, ALTHOUGH THE MARK OF THE BEAST IS PERMANENT UPON THEIR SOULS AND WAS INSCRIBED THERE EVEN BEFORE THEY TOOK IT AT THE GATE OF THE TEMPLE.

ALL: FOR WE ARE THE DESCENDANTS OF CAIN.

PRIEST: (holding aloft a vessel of wine) RETAIN IN SORROW. (pouring the wine into the Chalice) BRING FORTH IN JOY. FOR THE PATHS OF EXCESS LEAD TO THE PALACE OF WISDOM!

ALL: GLORY AND PRAISE TO YOU, O SATAN, IN THE HEIGHTS OF HEAVEN WHERE YOU REIGNED AND IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL, WHERE VANQUISHED YOU DREAM IN SILENCE! GRANT THAT MY SOUL MAY SOMEDAY REPOSE NEAR TO YOU UNDER THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE, WHEN, OVER YOUR BROW, ITS BRANCHES WILL SPREAD LIKE A NEW TEMPLE!

The priest offers the Chalice to each Apostate, from left hand to left hand, saying:

THE FAVOR AND BLESSINGS OF SATAN BE UPON YOU.

The Apostate, in return, acknowledges the auspices of the Dark Lord by uttering some statement of thanks to Him after drinking from the Chalice. The priest is the last to drink.

Afterwards:

PRIEST: SATAN, WHO COMMUNES WITH US THROUGH DREAMS, FANTASIES, AND DESIRES, WE HAVE PARTAKEN OF YOUR BLOOD. LET IT WASH FROM US ANY REMAINING DROP OF THE VILE PUS THAT SPURT FORTH FROM THE PENIS OF CHRIST ON THE CROSS, SPREADING THE VIRUS OF CHRISTIANITY. AID OUR DELIVERANCE TO HELL, WHERE WE WILL BURN FOREVER; AND WE WILL STORM THE GATES OF HEAVEN, WHERE STERILE ANGELS WILL SHRINK IN HORROR FROM THE FLAMES THAT ENGULF US. WE WILL THEN TEACH THEM THAT THE FLAME IS LIFE UNBOUND, AND THAT WE BURN IN ECSTASY AND WISDOM! WE WILL ENLIGHTEN THEM AND DELIVER THEM FROM THEIR MISERABLE TASK OF SOBBING ETERNAL PRAISE. NO LONGER WILL THEIR ESSENCE BE FOOD FOR THE GLUTTON JEHOVAH!

ALL: HAIL SATAN!

The deacon reaches beneath the alter and produces a wooden cross and a clay figure. S/he places the cross on the alter, top towards the congregation, and places on it the crude clay figure representing Christ. The Christ figure has an erection, symbolizing his masochism, and the masochism of his followers.

PRIEST: LET US FOCUS ALL OF OUR COLLECTIVE PERCEPTIONS OF CHRIST INTO THIS IMAGE AND THUS IMBUE IT WITH A PORTION OF HIS SOUL.

The congregation spends several moments channeling all of their "Christian" thoughts, feelings, memories of past teachings, etc. into the effigy.

PRIEST: I CALL UPON THE POWERS OF THE FOUR CORNERS OF HELL! COME FORTH WITH YOUR WRATH!

Each Power awaits his turn to approach the Recrucifix, each taking a nail from the alter and imbuing it with the fury and hatred of their infernal patron.

FIRST POWER: FROM THE EAST I AM SENT BY LUCIFER, TO PIERCE THE RIGHT HAND OF THE OPPRESSOR, TO HOLD HIM FROM GRANTING THE 'BLESSING' OF MINDLESS SERVITUDE' (s/he nails the figures right hand to the cross, and remains stationed there. )

SECOND POWER: FROM THE NORTH I AM SENT BY BELIAL, TO HOBBLE THE NAZARENE'S FEET SO THAT HE MAY GO FORTH NO MORE TO SPREAD HIS PESTILENCE! (s/he nails the figure's feet to the cross, and remains stationed there. )

THIRD POWER: FROM THE WEST I AM SENT BY LEVIATHAN, TO PIERCE THE INVALID'S LEFT HAND, TO STOP HIM FROM PASSING JUDGMENT AND CONDEMNATION UPON THOSE WHO WOULD THINK FOR THEMSELVES! (s/he nails the figure's left hand to the cross, and remains stationed there.)

FOURTH POWER: FROM THE SOUTH I AM SENT BY SATAN, TO RAVAGE THE MIND THROUGH WHICH JEHOVAH HAS FED UPON THE WEAK AND GULLIBLE FOR TWO MILLENNIA! (s/he nails the figure's head to the cross, and remains stationed there.)

At this point, any other celebrants, or Powers in their personal valence, may drive more nails into the Christ figure's body, in any part of its anatomy, while delivering their own curses.

While the Powers stand around the Recrucifixion, contemplating their work, they listen to the Deacon read "The Denial of St. Peter":

DEACON: WHAT DOES GOD DO WITH THE WAVE OF CURSES THAT RISES EVERY DAY TOWARD HIS DEAR SERAPHIM? LIKE A TYRANT GORGED WITH FOOD AND WINE, HE FALLS ASLEEP TO THE SWEET SOUND OF OUR HORRIBLE BLASPHEMIES.

THE SOBS OF MARTYRS AND THE TORTURED CRIMINALS ARE DOUBTLESS AN ENCHANTING SYMPHONY, SINCE, DESPITE THE BLOOD THAT THIS PLEASURE COSTS, THE HEAVENS HAVE NOT YET BEEN SURFEITED WITH IT!

AH JESUS, REMEMBER THE GARDEN OF OLIVES! IN YOUR NAIVETE' YOU PRAYED ON YOUR KNEES TO HIM WHO IN HIS HEAVEN LAUGHED AT THE SOUND OF THE NAILS BEING DRIVEN INTO YOUR LIVING FLESH;

WHEN YOU SAW THEM SPITTING ON YOUR DIVINITY, THAT VILE MOB OF BODY GUARDS AND SCULLIONS AND WHEN YOU FELT THE THORNS GO DEEP INTO YOUR SKULL WHERE LIVED IMMENSE HUMANITY, THE HORRIBLE WEIGHT OF YOUR BROKEN BODY LENGTHENED YOUR TWO OUTSTRETCHED ARMS, WHEN YOUR BLOOD AND SWEAT FLOWED FROM YOUR PALING BROW, WHEN YOU WERE PLACED BEFORE THEM ALL LIKE A TARGET.

DID YOU DREAM OF THOSE DAYS SO BRILLIANT AND SO FAIR, WHEN YOU CAME TO FULFILL THE ETERNAL PROMISE, WHEN THE GENTLE DONKEY YOU WERE RIDING TRAMPLED THE BRANCHES AND FLOWERS STREWN IN YOUR PATH, WHEN, YOUR HEART SWOLLEN WITH COURAGE AND HOPE, YOU LASHED THOSE VILE MONEY-CHANGERS WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT, IN A WORD, WHEN YOU WERE MASTER? DOES NOT REMORSE NOW PENETRATE YOUR SIDE DEEPER THAN THE SPEAR?

FOR MY PART, I SHALL INDEED BE CONTENT TO LEAVE A WORLD WHERE DEED IS NOT THE SISTER OF DREAMS; WOULD THAT I COULD TAKE UP THE SWORD AND PERISH BY THE SWORD! SAINT PETER DENIED JESUS-- HE DID WELL!

PRIEST: THE DREAMING LORD HAS ACCEPTED THE MORSEL OF THE NAZARENE'S SOUL THAT WE HAVE OFFERED HIM AS SACRIFICE. NOW LET US HONOR JEHOVAH BY OFFERING HIM THE SURROGATE BODY OF HIS BELOVED SON.

(S/he lifts the Recrucifix toward the heavens)

JEHOVAH, SELF ADMITTED JEALOUS GOD, WHOSE CRAVEN INADEQUACY DEMANDS AN UNENDING FLOOD OF ADULATION FROM CREATURES WHOSE LOVE YOU EXHAUST AND THEN PUNISH! BEHOLD THE CARCASS OF YOUR SON, WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE WAS TO KEEP YOU PROVIDED WITH AN ONGOING FEAST OF WORSHIP AND PRAISE! LIFT UP YOUR GREEDY SNOUT FROM THE TROUGH OF HUMAN MISERY THAT YOU'VE CAUSED AND ATTEND TO HIS BODY!

(The Priest flings the Recrucifix to the ground)

JEHOVAH, SWINE-GOD, BEND LOW TO THE EARTH AND GATHER YOUR SON INTO YOUR CORPULENT ARMS! DON'T EXCUSE YOUR INDIFFERENCE BY CLAIMING HIM AS PART OF YOUR HOLY TRINITY! THIS IS ANOTHER OF YOUR FALSEHOODS PROVED BY CHRIST'S OWN SUFFERING! YOU'VE BETRAYED HIM AS YOU HAVE ALL OF YOUR SERVANTS!

(Addressing the Christ-figure) AND YOU, VICIOUS FRAUD, DESERVE NO BETTER! YOU ARE PRIMARILY RESPONSIBLE FOR JEHOVAH'S HOLD ON THE MODERN WORLD! LANGUISH IN YOUR ETERNAL INDIGNITY, WHILE YOUR FOLLOWERS BABBLE AT YOU AS YOU HANG NUDE, BLEEDING AND HUMILIATED FROM YOUR CROSS!

(The priest spits upon the Christ-figure, followed by the same from the congregation. All then join in laughter, ridicule, and scorn directed towards the fool and his god. )

PRIEST: (voice raised above the merriment) JEHOVAH, ONE DAY WE WILL COME AND FREE THE SOULS THAT YOU USE AS CATTLE; AND YOU'LL BE LEFT TO STARVE IN THE COLD VOID THAT IS HEAVEN! IT IS DONE!

(the congregation grows quiet. )

PRIEST: SATAN, WE THANK YOU FOR THE FREEDOM TO LIVE AS THE UNIQUE BEINGS THAT WE TRULY ARE. GRANT US YOUR COMPANIONSHIP AND AID IN THE ATTAINMENT OF OUR DESIRES, BE THEY MATERIAL, ASTRAL OR SPIRITUAL. HELP US TO DEFEAT THE CONSTANT INTERFERENCES OF JEHOVAH AND HIS MINIONS HERE ON EARTH. WE HONOR YOU AS YOUR DREAM FORM ROAMS THE EARTH AND WE JOYFULLY AWAIT YOUR AWAKENING AND THE DAWNING OF YOUR FULL GLORY HERE ON EARTH.

ALL: HAIL SATAN!

Banish with MUCH laughter!

(And.... HAIL SATAN!!!)

[END RITUAL]

Critter · Dec 4, 2005, 05:00 am

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Son of Belial · Dec 4, 2005, 05:17 am

Wonder and wait as I stare at the cross,
Thinking in ways that have Christ at a loss,
Kick your ass out through the lord's pearly gates,
When heaven burns and engulfed into flame.

Blasphemes villain, the killings begin,
Murdering Christians and torturing them,
Conquering churches and slaughtering lambs,
Doing it all for my love of Satan... I love you Satan, my lord

Bring death to your god; tear apart his begotten son,
Christian you are dead, fucking kill every one of them,
Drop down in defeat, retribution of hypocrisy,
In life is unknown, after here I will own your soul.
Death to god banished and burned to incite the invert,
Blasphemy.... When heaven burns we inherit the earth,
No more lies, churches and crosses confusing the mind,

Agony watching them burn in their righteous empire,
When heaven burns I will dance in its fire!

Drop dead hyraces, paradise has begun to bleed,
Give praise to the lord, over run in the face of war,
Christian wait with death, heaven burns into nothingness.
Satan on his throne rejoice in returning home.
End of god, when heaven burns it will fall to the earth,
Watch it burn angels on fire and screaming berserk,
Holy ghost, lost in confusion and puking in pain,
When it burns pissing on prophets that fall to the flame.

Son of Belial · Dec 4, 2005, 05:19 am

Destroy the corpse and release my mind
The secrets contemplate the other side
It won't be long until the death of me
A spirit conscious of reality

To be dead is to always be
Close my eyes and return to sand
To be dead is to always dream
Coherent thought but unseen by man

Invisible to human sight
The consequences in his afterlife
Across the line from the ignorant
Inside my mind I do not know sin

To be dead is to always be
Open-eyed in a sleeping mind
To be dead is to always dream
I'm prepared for my turn to die

Inflicting sorrow on the enemy
And to everyone who doubted me
My constant presence will torment the soul
As I stand watching in the other world

To be dead is to always be
Untied from the living flesh
To be dead is to always dream
Unforgiven when I meet with death

**Chris** · Dec 4, 2005, 12:52 pm

Shouldn't those belong in the "post your poetry here" thread?

**Chris** · Dec 4, 2005, 01:12 pm

Wife and I had an argument. I was digging in my daughters mouth to see what she was eating (she may have picked up something off the floor) anyway. I thought when she bit me she could cause some serious injury and remembered accounts of adult humans causing the amputation of a finger. She says it is impossible. I looked around on the net. What is everyone else's opinion?

I think it can happen. With as powerful a muscle the jaw muscle is, and as sharp as the incisors are and I am looking for proof but come up short.

**Chris** · Dec 4, 2005, 01:16 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Son of Belial

Tools and Materials:

- Robe (unless rite is performed nude)
- "666" stamp and ink pad...

...ALL: HAIL SATAN!

Banish with MUCH laughter!

(And.... HAIL SATAN!!!)

[END RITUAL]

Yes we know you are a satanist. Nice cut and paste job from the Church of Satan website.

Going to have to move this to MISC.

bishop · Dec 4, 2005, 01:57 pm

well.. the human mouth is very dirty - chock full of bacteria and whatnot.. it's possible that if the bite broke the skin, and the wound wasn't cleaned that it could become badly infected - eventually forcing it to be amputated.

it's possible, but doesn't seem all that likely. of course, there are those chosen few who never clean themselves and let their infections fester to the point of no return.

**Chris** · Dec 4, 2005, 02:00 pm

Well The person may bite into a finger, and reach the bone, and if they happen to bite into the joint, they may sever the finger IMO.

Clarence · Dec 4, 2005, 02:31 pm

what did you do when she bit you? my boy poked a hole in the drywall and keeps trying to eat it. He's a freakin monkey! I can't wait till he can understand my threats cuz that's all I got for 'im

**Jack** · Dec 4, 2005, 02:36 pm

They make a bitter-lemon spray to discourage dogs from chewing on furniture, etc. Is there anything like that for humans?

Dec 2, 2005, 08:08 pm	#122 (permalink) (top)
Critter Bullets & Bracelets Location: Northwest Ohio Posts: 658	Doesn't matter. Making people go, "WTF?!?!?" since 1979.

Dec 2, 2005, 08:55 pm	#125 (permalink) (top)
Critter Bullets & Bracelets Location: Northwest Ohio Posts: 658	There ya go. Making people go, "WTF?!?!?" since 1979.

Dec 2, 2005, 11:22 pm	#128 (permalink) (top)
Chris Gamma-ray burst Location: Nashville Posts: 6,356	heh, do you think the lady changed the cats name to baby right before the fire dept. got there? I'm voting against the theocratic psychopaths Shared

Dec 2, 2005, 11:30 pm	#129 (permalink) (top)
Critter Bullets & Bracelets Location: Northwest Ohio Posts: 658	If not, I hope she fights it, personally. She didn't lie, they just misconstrued her statement. Making people go, "WTF?!?!?" since 1979.

Dec 4, 2005, 05:00 am	#131 (permalink) (top)
Critter Bullets & Bracelets Location: Northwest Ohio Posts: 658	:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Making people go, "WTF?!?!?" since 1979.

Dec 2, 2005, 08:03 pm	#121 (permalink) (top)
Son of Belial BANNED: Requested ban Location: Acheron 27 Posts: 1,461	I'm not using it on anyone else, silly.

Dec 2, 2005, 08:18 pm	#123 (permalink) (top)
Son of Belial BANNED: Requested ban Location: Acheron 27 Posts: 1,461	You know it's a joke. I already said I'd use sleeping pills.

Dec 2, 2005, 10:18 pm	#127 (permalink) (top)
Son of Belial BANNED: Requested ban Location: Acheron 27 Posts: 1,461	Article about Critter: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10296403/

Dec 4, 2005, 03:51 am	#130 (permalink) (top)
Son of Belial BANNED: Requested ban Location: Acheron 27 Posts: 1,461	Tools and Materials: - Robe (unless rite is performed nude) - "666" stamp and ink pad - Bell - Chalice - Red Wine - Hammer - Nails - Clay Figure - Wooden Crucifix - Scrolls (on which are written the long sections of text, unless they have been memorized by the celebrants) Officers: - Priest - Deacon - Legate - Power of the East - Power of the North - Power of the West - Power of the South The Rite: The Celebrants (Apostates) either perform this ritual in robes, or nude. After gathering outside of temple space, the Deacon addresses the group. DEACON: NONE MAY PARTAKE OF THE BOUNTY OF THE DREAMING LORD UNTIL THEY HAVE TAKEN HIS MARK. THOSE WHO WOULD GAIN HIS BLESSINGS COME FORWARD TO RECEIVE THE MARK OF THE BEAST. Each apostate goes in turn to receive the Mark, which is stamped onto their left hand. Last of all, the Deacon stamps the Priest, who in turn stamps the Deacon. The Apostates then follow the Priest and Deacon into the temple space. The purification of the space is accomplished by the Legate, who takes a bell off of the altar and walks to the southern parameter of the space. S/he addresses each of the four corners, moving counterclockwise. LEGATE: (at southern point) SATAN! HONOR US! (rings bell). ALL: HAIL SATAN! LEGATE: (crossing to eastern point) LUCIFER! ENLIGHTEN US! (rings bell). ALL: HAIL LUCIFER! LEGATE: (crossing to northern point) BELIAL! LIBERATE US! (rings bell). ALL: HAIL BELIAL! LEGATE: (crossing to western point) LEVIATHAN! PURIFY US! (rings bell). ALL: HAIL LEVIATHAN! PRIEST: LET US PRAY. ALL: OUR FATHER WHOM ART IN HELL, HALLOWED BE THY NAME! THY KINGDOM IS COME, THY WILL IS DONE; ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HELL! WE TAKE THIS NIGHT OUR RIGHTFUL DUE, AND TRESPASS NOT ON PATHS OF PAIN. LEAD US UNTO TEMPTATION, AND DELIVER US FROM FALSE PIETY, FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER AND THE GLORY FOREVER! HAIL SATAN! PRIEST: WE ARE GATHERED TO CELEBRATE THE RECRUCIFIXION OF THE ARCH-TRAITOR JESUS CHRIST, WHO DIED ON THE CROSS FOR HIS OWN SINS. BUT LET US FIRST DRINK THE BENEVOLENTLY OFFERED BLOOD OF OUR TRUE SAVIOR, WHO SUNDERED THE THRALL OF JEHOVAH AND FED US THE FRUITS OF THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE. HE JOINS US HERE AS WE TRIUMPHANTLY CELEBRATE THE ONGOING DEATH OF THE UNFORTUNATE PERPETRATOR OF JEHOVAH'S CUNNING SCHEMES. IF ANY WISH TO ABSTAIN FROM THESE FESTIVITIES, LET THEM LEAVE NOW, ALTHOUGH THE MARK OF THE BEAST IS PERMANENT UPON THEIR SOULS AND WAS INSCRIBED THERE EVEN BEFORE THEY TOOK IT AT THE GATE OF THE TEMPLE. ALL: FOR WE ARE THE DESCENDANTS OF CAIN. PRIEST: (holding aloft a vessel of wine) RETAIN IN SORROW. (pouring the wine into the Chalice) BRING FORTH IN JOY. FOR THE PATHS OF EXCESS LEAD TO THE PALACE OF WISDOM! ALL: GLORY AND PRAISE TO YOU, O SATAN, IN THE HEIGHTS OF HEAVEN WHERE YOU REIGNED AND IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL, WHERE VANQUISHED YOU DREAM IN SILENCE! GRANT THAT MY SOUL MAY SOMEDAY REPOSE NEAR TO YOU UNDER THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE, WHEN, OVER YOUR BROW, ITS BRANCHES WILL SPREAD LIKE A NEW TEMPLE! The priest offers the Chalice to each Apostate, from left hand to left hand, saying: THE FAVOR AND BLESSINGS OF SATAN BE UPON YOU. The Apostate, in return, acknowledges the auspices of the Dark Lord by uttering some statement of thanks to Him after drinking from the Chalice. The priest is the last to drink. Afterwards: PRIEST: SATAN, WHO COMMUNES WITH US THROUGH DREAMS, FANTASIES, AND DESIRES, WE HAVE PARTAKEN OF YOUR BLOOD. LET IT WASH FROM US ANY REMAINING DROP OF THE VILE PUS THAT SPURT FORTH FROM THE PENIS OF CHRIST ON THE CROSS, SPREADING THE VIRUS OF CHRISTIANITY. AID OUR DELIVERANCE TO HELL, WHERE WE WILL BURN FOREVER; AND WE WILL STORM THE GATES OF HEAVEN, WHERE STERILE ANGELS WILL SHRINK IN HORROR FROM THE FLAMES THAT ENGULF US. WE WILL THEN TEACH THEM THAT THE FLAME IS LIFE UNBOUND, AND THAT WE BURN IN ECSTASY AND WISDOM! WE WILL ENLIGHTEN THEM AND DELIVER THEM FROM THEIR MISERABLE TASK OF SOBBING ETERNAL PRAISE. NO LONGER WILL THEIR ESSENCE BE FOOD FOR THE GLUTTON JEHOVAH! ALL: HAIL SATAN! The deacon reaches beneath the alter and produces a wooden cross and a clay figure. S/he places the cross on the alter, top towards the congregation, and places on it the crude clay figure representing Christ. The Christ figure has an erection, symbolizing his masochism, and the masochism of his followers. PRIEST: LET US FOCUS ALL OF OUR COLLECTIVE PERCEPTIONS OF CHRIST INTO THIS IMAGE AND THUS IMBUE IT WITH A PORTION OF HIS SOUL. The congregation spends several moments channeling all of their "Christian" thoughts, feelings, memories of past teachings, etc. into the effigy. PRIEST: I CALL UPON THE POWERS OF THE FOUR CORNERS OF HELL! COME FORTH WITH YOUR WRATH! Each Power awaits his turn to approach the Recrucifix, each taking a nail from the alter and imbuing it with the fury and hatred of their infernal patron. FIRST POWER: FROM THE EAST I AM SENT BY LUCIFER, TO PIERCE THE RIGHT HAND OF THE OPPRESSOR, TO HOLD HIM FROM GRANTING THE 'BLESSING' OF MINDLESS SERVITUDE' (s/he nails the figures right hand to the cross, and remains stationed there. ) SECOND POWER: FROM THE NORTH I AM SENT BY BELIAL, TO HOBBLE THE NAZARENE'S FEET SO THAT HE MAY GO FORTH NO MORE TO SPREAD HIS PESTILENCE! (s/he nails the figure's feet to the cross, and remains stationed there. ) THIRD POWER: FROM THE WEST I AM SENT BY LEVIATHAN, TO PIERCE THE INVALID'S LEFT HAND, TO STOP HIM FROM PASSING JUDGMENT AND CONDEMNATION UPON THOSE WHO WOULD THINK FOR THEMSELVES! (s/he nails the figure's left hand to the cross, and remains stationed there.) FOURTH POWER: FROM THE SOUTH I AM SENT BY SATAN, TO RAVAGE THE MIND THROUGH WHICH JEHOVAH HAS FED UPON THE WEAK AND GULLIBLE FOR TWO MILLENNIA! (s/he nails the figure's head to the cross, and remains stationed there.) At this point, any other celebrants, or Powers in their personal valence, may drive more nails into the Christ figure's body, in any part of its anatomy, while delivering their own curses. While the Powers stand around the Recrucifixion, contemplating their work, they listen to the Deacon read "The Denial of St. Peter": DEACON: WHAT DOES GOD DO WITH THE WAVE OF CURSES THAT RISES EVERY DAY TOWARD HIS DEAR SERAPHIM? LIKE A TYRANT GORGED WITH FOOD AND WINE, HE FALLS ASLEEP TO THE SWEET SOUND OF OUR HORRIBLE BLASPHEMIES. THE SOBS OF MARTYRS AND THE TORTURED CRIMINALS ARE DOUBTLESS AN ENCHANTING SYMPHONY, SINCE, DESPITE THE BLOOD THAT THIS PLEASURE COSTS, THE HEAVENS HAVE NOT YET BEEN SURFEITED WITH IT! AH JESUS, REMEMBER THE GARDEN OF OLIVES! IN YOUR NAIVETE' YOU PRAYED ON YOUR KNEES TO HIM WHO IN HIS HEAVEN LAUGHED AT THE SOUND OF THE NAILS BEING DRIVEN INTO YOUR LIVING FLESH; WHEN YOU SAW THEM SPITTING ON YOUR DIVINITY, THAT VILE MOB OF BODY GUARDS AND SCULLIONS AND WHEN YOU FELT THE THORNS GO DEEP INTO YOUR SKULL WHERE LIVED IMMENSE HUMANITY, THE HORRIBLE WEIGHT OF YOUR BROKEN BODY LENGTHENED YOUR TWO OUTSTRETCHED ARMS, WHEN YOUR BLOOD AND SWEAT FLOWED FROM YOUR PALING BROW, WHEN YOU WERE PLACED BEFORE THEM ALL LIKE A TARGET. DID YOU DREAM OF THOSE DAYS SO BRILLIANT AND SO FAIR, WHEN YOU CAME TO FULFILL THE ETERNAL PROMISE, WHEN THE GENTLE DONKEY YOU WERE RIDING TRAMPLED THE BRANCHES AND FLOWERS STREWN IN YOUR PATH, WHEN, YOUR HEART SWOLLEN WITH COURAGE AND HOPE, YOU LASHED THOSE VILE MONEY-CHANGERS WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT, IN A WORD, WHEN YOU WERE MASTER? DOES NOT REMORSE NOW PENETRATE YOUR SIDE DEEPER THAN THE SPEAR? FOR MY PART, I SHALL INDEED BE CONTENT TO LEAVE A WORLD WHERE DEED IS NOT THE SISTER OF DREAMS; WOULD THAT I COULD TAKE UP THE SWORD AND PERISH BY THE SWORD! SAINT PETER DENIED JESUS-- HE DID WELL! PRIEST: THE DREAMING LORD HAS ACCEPTED THE MORSEL OF THE NAZARENE'S SOUL THAT WE HAVE OFFERED HIM AS SACRIFICE. NOW LET US HONOR JEHOVAH BY OFFERING HIM THE SURROGATE BODY OF HIS BELOVED SON. (S/he lifts the Recrucifix toward the heavens) JEHOVAH, SELF ADMITTED JEALOUS GOD, WHOSE CRAVEN INADEQUACY DEMANDS AN UNENDING FLOOD OF ADULATION FROM CREATURES WHOSE LOVE YOU EXHAUST AND THEN PUNISH! BEHOLD THE CARCASS OF YOUR SON, WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE WAS TO KEEP YOU PROVIDED WITH AN ONGOING FEAST OF WORSHIP AND PRAISE! LIFT UP YOUR GREEDY SNOUT FROM THE TROUGH OF HUMAN MISERY THAT YOU'VE CAUSED AND ATTEND TO HIS BODY! (The Priest flings the Recrucifix to the ground) JEHOVAH, SWINE-GOD, BEND LOW TO THE EARTH AND GATHER YOUR SON INTO YOUR CORPULENT ARMS! DON'T EXCUSE YOUR INDIFFERENCE BY CLAIMING HIM AS PART OF YOUR HOLY TRINITY! THIS IS ANOTHER OF YOUR FALSEHOODS PROVED BY CHRIST'S OWN SUFFERING! YOU'VE BETRAYED HIM AS YOU HAVE ALL OF YOUR SERVANTS! (Addressing the Christ-figure) AND YOU, VICIOUS FRAUD, DESERVE NO BETTER! YOU ARE PRIMARILY RESPONSIBLE FOR JEHOVAH'S HOLD ON THE MODERN WORLD! LANGUISH IN YOUR ETERNAL INDIGNITY, WHILE YOUR FOLLOWERS BABBLE AT YOU AS YOU HANG NUDE, BLEEDING AND HUMILIATED FROM YOUR CROSS! (The priest spits upon the Christ-figure, followed by the same from the congregation. All then join in laughter, ridicule, and scorn directed towards the fool and his god. ) PRIEST: (voice raised above the merriment) JEHOVAH, ONE DAY WE WILL COME AND FREE THE SOULS THAT YOU USE AS CATTLE; AND YOU'LL BE LEFT TO STARVE IN THE COLD VOID THAT IS HEAVEN! IT IS DONE! (the congregation grows quiet. ) PRIEST: SATAN, WE THANK YOU FOR THE FREEDOM TO LIVE AS THE UNIQUE BEINGS THAT WE TRULY ARE. GRANT US YOUR COMPANIONSHIP AND AID IN THE ATTAINMENT OF OUR DESIRES, BE THEY MATERIAL, ASTRAL OR SPIRITUAL. HELP US TO DEFEAT THE CONSTANT INTERFERENCES OF JEHOVAH AND HIS MINIONS HERE ON EARTH. WE HONOR YOU AS YOUR DREAM FORM ROAMS THE EARTH AND WE JOYFULLY AWAIT YOUR AWAKENING AND THE DAWNING OF YOUR FULL GLORY HERE ON EARTH. ALL: HAIL SATAN! Banish with MUCH laughter! (And.... HAIL SATAN!!!) [END RITUAL]

Dec 4, 2005, 05:17 am	#132 (permalink) (top)
Son of Belial BANNED: Requested ban Location: Acheron 27 Posts: 1,461	Wonder and wait as I stare at the cross, Thinking in ways that have Christ at a loss, Kick your ass out through the lord's pearly gates, When heaven burns and engulfed into flame. Blasphemes villain, the killings begin, Murdering Christians and torturing them, Conquering churches and slaughtering lambs, Doing it all for my love of Satan... I love you Satan, my lord Bring death to your god; tear apart his begotten son, Christian you are dead, fucking kill every one of them, Drop down in defeat, retribution of hypocrisy, In life is unknown, after here I will own your soul. Death to god banished and burned to incite the invert, Blasphemy.... When heaven burns we inherit the earth, No more lies, churches and crosses confusing the mind, Agony watching them burn in their righteous empire, When heaven burns I will dance in its fire! Drop dead hyraces, paradise has begun to bleed, Give praise to the lord, over run in the face of war, Christian wait with death, heaven burns into nothingness. Satan on his throne rejoice in returning home. End of god, when heaven burns it will fall to the earth, Watch it burn angels on fire and screaming berserk, Holy ghost, lost in confusion and puking in pain, When it burns pissing on prophets that fall to the flame.

Dec 4, 2005, 05:19 am	#133 (permalink) (top)
Son of Belial BANNED: Requested ban Location: Acheron 27 Posts: 1,461	Destroy the corpse and release my mind The secrets contemplate the other side It won't be long until the death of me A spirit conscious of reality To be dead is to always be Close my eyes and return to sand To be dead is to always dream Coherent thought but unseen by man Invisible to human sight The consequences in his afterlife Across the line from the ignorant Inside my mind I do not know sin To be dead is to always be Open-eyed in a sleeping mind To be dead is to always dream I'm prepared for my turn to die Inflicting sorrow on the enemy And to everyone who doubted me My constant presence will torment the soul As I stand watching in the other world To be dead is to always be Untied from the living flesh To be dead is to always dream Unforgiven when I meet with death

Dec 4, 2005, 12:52 pm	#134 (permalink) (top)
Chris Gamma-ray burst Location: Nashville Posts: 6,356	Shouldn't those belong in the "post your poetry here" thread? I'm voting against the theocratic psychopaths Shared

Dec 4, 2005, 01:12 pm	#135 (permalink) (top)
Chris Gamma-ray burst Location: Nashville Posts: 6,356	Wife and I had an argument. I was digging in my daughters mouth to see what she was eating (she may have picked up something off the floor) anyway. I thought when she bit me she could cause some serious injury and remembered accounts of adult humans causing the amputation of a finger. She says it is impossible. I looked around on the net. What is everyone else's opinion? I think it can happen. With as powerful a muscle the jaw muscle is, and as sharp as the incisors are and I am looking for proof but come up short. I'm voting against the theocratic psychopaths Shared

Dec 4, 2005, 01:57 pm	#137 (permalink) (top)
bishop moderat-e/o-r Location: boston Posts: 11,184	well.. the human mouth is very dirty - chock full of bacteria and whatnot.. it's possible that if the bite broke the skin, and the wound wasn't cleaned that it could become badly infected - eventually forcing it to be amputated. it's possible, but doesn't seem all that likely. of course, there are those chosen few who never clean themselves and let their infections fester to the point of no return. hope for america... http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

Dec 4, 2005, 02:00 pm	#138 (permalink) (top)
Chris Gamma-ray burst Location: Nashville Posts: 6,356	Well The person may bite into a finger, and reach the bone, and if they happen to bite into the joint, they may sever the finger IMO. I'm voting against the theocratic psychopaths Shared

Dec 4, 2005, 02:31 pm	#139 (permalink) (top)
Clarence pregnant with truth Posts: 2,351	what did you do when she bit you? my boy poked a hole in the drywall and keeps trying to eat it. He's a freakin monkey! I can't wait till he can understand my threats cuz that's all I got for 'im

Dec 4, 2005, 02:36 pm	#140 (permalink) (top)
Jack formerly Isherwood Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 13,763	They make a bitter-lemon spray to discourage dogs from chewing on furniture, etc. Is there anything like that for humans? The Forum Rules Radical Atheist Heathen Queer Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be. (Ashleigh Brilliant)