A secret history of "Furries"

[Son of Belial]

What is the secret history behind the subculture known as "furries?" Some would have you believe that furries are those who lived as animals in past lives, who feel a connection with totems, and so forth. I have dug up the secret history of the Furries and reveal it now. This is mostly speculation but I believe you will find that these match the facts as they are known.


Our story begins at St. Mary's High School in O'Neill, Nebraska. It was in 1962 that the school gained a new mascot, known for some reason as"Idle Raman Denial." THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE MASCOT HAS NEVER BEEN REVEALED. However, I believe the school was in on the plot. I DO NOT KNOW WHY, but they have never revealed the person they hired. It is supposed that the person they hired was not legally allowed near children and was hired illegally. This was obviously a stupid move, but one they have not paid for.


Idle Ramen Denial

I believe I have discovered the answer to this riddle. "Idle Raman Denial" is an anagram for Daniel Mailander.

Daniel Cletus Mailander is in the Nebraska Sex Offender Registry

A Daniel Mailander, in Nebraska, in their sexual offender registry. It seems to add up, does it not?

Look closer at this image.



The child you see here is Douglas Thompson, a student at St. Mary's High School. The same one in the picture. (Note: This is NOT his real name - it has been changed at his family's request during my research.)


Douglas Thompson

I did some digging and managed to find the phone number of Douglas' parents. Actually, I found the phone number for his aunt first. I told her I was trying to uncover the truth behind what I felt was a crime that had taken place at St. Mary's. She told me DOUGLAS HAD COMMITTED SUICIDE AFTER BEING DISCOVERED HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH ANOTHER MAN, and BOTH DOUGLAS AND THE OTHER MAN WERE DRESSED AS ANIMALS. Indeed, I was told that his partner(though not himself) was DRESSED AS A ROOSTER, the same as the "mascot" Idle Ramen Denial. I informed her that I believed I had the answer and she gave me the number of hid parents. They verified the story, saying that Douglas began having emotional problems around 11th grade. He began becoming isolated, saying that he felt out of place, in the wrong time, and once hinted that he was in the wrong body.

It is my belief that Douglas was molested by Mailander. He became depressed and was filled with feelings of guilt and self-loathing, as often happens to those who are molested or forced into improper sexual situations. With these feelings of guilty came feelings of strange arousal, and Douglas found himself unable to achieve proper sexual arousal without wearing a suit. He shared this newfound fetish with friends, where it spread to other kids and yes, even to popular culture.

I will detail next time exactly how this sick fetish infected music, television, and other forms of media - sometimes innocently, sometimes not.

[Walmas]

Wow amazing descovery. I dont know what to say.

[Son of Belial]

Tell me how fabulous I am.

[Clarence]

Brilliant! Reminds me of my own greatness! Bravo! I really didn't know what to say at first. Still unsure but I don't want to give you a big head or anything. You suck! I've seen way better, I promise. Sorry, couldn't find a link.

[Clarence]

I think I know about these "furries" you mentioned. I think there might have been a local chapter in my town, now that you mention it. Yeah! there was. There is whole conspiracy-full of these sick fuckers? I bet they can recognize eachother. I certainly can sometimes. Sick Fucks! Furries, pfft!

[PatrickHenry]

Belial, are you making this shit up because of that Wikipedia episode and now you are faking some documentation to provide a basis for your allegations that were expurgated?

Or did you make the Wikipedia allegations based upon previous research?

You're quite a character, dude...

[Son of Belial]

I'm Fox News. I report, YOU DECIDE.

[Son of Belial]

Spreading the Message Through Propaganda

On August 25, 1966, the Beatles played at the Memphis Coliseum. It was one of their smallest venues that year with only around 10,000 in attendance. I was told that one of Douglas' last acts on earth was to travel to Memphis for this concert; I have no evidence to back this aside from the words of his parents. (Douglas committed suicide a few months later.) However, it was a year after this, in 1967, that the Beatles released "Magical Mystery Tour."


Magical Mystery Tour album cover

Note the furry-style costumes and the rainbow-colored words. Long has it been held that the cover was a part of the "Paul is dead" conspiracy. I personally feel the whole thing was false; I'd studied the whole topic in-depth, years ago, and as I understand it began as a joke on a radio station and people bought it. There were some clues in the music however, and it is my belief that out of all the myriad "walrus/death" references taken to mean Paul was dead, a few were genuine and were a reference to John's sexual experiments, some of which revolved around a furry lifestyle.

Within the track listing on the inside of the album was what I believe John either mocking or struggling with his fetish. Or did someone else who knew add the comment? I don't think he let the others in on it, though he had no reason not to put the reference in the album - especially since they often did odd things such as this. When he got them to dress as animals they likely had no idea what the significance was. I'm not sure if they ever figured it out.


Found inside the MMT album

Furthermore the song Glass Onion states quite clearly "The walrus was Paul." I'm not exactly sure what to make of this, though it is probably just something John told the others was yet another nonsense lyric and they bought it. However, a line on the John Lennon album Plastic Ono Band in the song titled God says "I was the walrus but now I'm John." I believe this to be a reference that he had "gotten over" the whole furry thing and moved on.

It was then in 1968 that the furry movement began being peddled to impressionable children.

"The Banana Splits Adventure Hour" was best described on the website Progressive Boink thusly:

Okay, you're in a room. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, an elephant, dog, gorilla, and lion slide in on fireman poles or come up through holes in the ground and just go ape-balls, running into each other, falling down, and screaming. Now imagine that they would like for you to watch some cartoons. That, my friends, is the Banana Splits... It wasn't like watching TV on drugs. It was like watching a TV made out of drugs.

Interestingly, the author refers to the four Splits as "sports team mascots," though this is surely just an amusing coincidence.


The Banana Splits

Note again the rainbow imagery. I hadn't mentioned it before, but I believe it was around this time that the furry movement and drug culture became somewhat entwined. Roughly three-quarters of the furries I spoke with were drug users; fully half of that number used LSD and harder drugs regularly.

I attempted to find any leads into the lives of the various actors on the Banana Splits show but came up empty. If any of them had any secret fetishes they kept them well-hidden and all went on to quite decent careers doing voices for various popular cartoons. The two directors turned up similarly; Richard Donner in particular managed to direct many decent movies and worked with Spielberg.

Obviously, there is much more supposition in this part than in the first; unfortunately, solid evidence of any of my beliefs is hard to come by, especially since I had the help of Douglas' family in part I, for which I am very grateful. A special thanks to them again, and I'll be back with Part III, "A Movement Within a Movement," later.

[gr8ridejester]

They had "furries" on CSI...the "Fur and Loathing " episode.

[Son of Belial]

Yeah, that's how most people know what they are.

[Chris]

MTV did a stuipd show called "Undressed" or some bullshit like that.

They had something in it about "Furverts"

[PatrickHenry]

I think this thread belongs in the Miscellaneous forum...

[Chris]

I agree

[Walmas]

me to

[Son of Belial]

Okay so I haven't done part 3 yet, but until then enjoy yourself with this Furry Band, yes, furries that DON'T suck ass:

The Dingleberrys

Not for the easily offended.

Please download their #1 hit "Choke the Chicken," thanks.

[Kite]

I knew about them way before...oh crap...shouldntve said that...
Fredryk Fox or Kutztown Dragon anyone?