How To Tell If You've Been Abducted By Aliens

[RickSp]

Not sure how many on this forum have been bothered by the question but just in case, straight from the Weekly World News.

MOST people have been abducted by aliens, say some UFO experts -- so odds are you're one of them. "Extraterrestrials possess the ability to wipe human memory clean," said Dr. J. Albert Longneck, a UFO investigator from Houston, Texas. "You could be kidnapped once or twice a week and you wouldn't remember a thing." But there are detectable signs that you've been taken aboard a spacecraft and examined, according to Dr. Longneck. Here is a revealing excerpt from his upcoming book Did I Forget I Was Kidnapped By Aliens?

I'll let you read the commentary associated with each in the article but here are the warning signs:

•You're drunk a lot
•You are mentally ill
•You find a lot of puncture marks in your arms and you can't remember injecting yourself
•During an X-ray, your doctor discovers you are missing an internal organ you know you were born with
•You wake up and can't remember everyday things like your name, the year, your address, your spouse's name, etc.
•You cut yourself and your blood is green (I hate it when that happens)
•You suddenly find yourself in a foreign country thousands of miles from where you live
•You look in the mirror and see that your nose is suddenly smaller
•You develop an irrational fear of going to the doctor when it's never bothered you before
•You suddenly discover you are missing a limb (I really hate it when that happens)

It occurs to me that several of these symptoms might be related to being drunk a lot. Of course if that is aone sign of abduction.....

[Rod]

uhm, ok - anything else?

[RickSp]

It did occurr to me that about half of the symptoms might be pretty common for some college students. The missing limbs, organs and alien rhinoplasty seem to be pretty clearly out of the ordinary. At least for me, anyway.

I read it on the Internet, so it much be true.

[Critter]

But...the Weekly World News???

[rcne]

I think it all points back to #1•You're drunk a lot, at least from what I can remember.

[RickSp]

Quote by: Critter But...the Weekly World News???

I would rate it right up there with the Weekly Standard , WorldNetDaily and the Drudge Report, except that the Weekly World News has better coverage of alien life forms and Elvis sightings.

[Critter]

It's all fake. Please tell me you know this.

[RickSp]

Quote by: Critter It's all fake. Please tell me you know this.

Which is why I rate it with the Weekly Standard, WorldNetDaily and the Drudge Report.

[Critter]

Ah. Gotcha.

[Compugasm]

I have not been abducted, yet. [Sniffle] I attend a weekly support group, and interact one-on-one with others like me [Sniffle] and we face our feelings about being unworthy of alien attention. I mean, what's wrong with us? Why don't aliens want us?

[Scribbler1]

Quote by: RickSp I would rate it right up there with the Weekly Standard , WorldNetDaily and the Drudge Report, except that the Weekly World News has better coverage of alien life forms and Elvis sightings.

Don't forget Bat Boy.

[RickSp]

Quote by: Scribbler1 Don't forget Bat Boy.

Bat Boy is kewl.

[Son of Belial]

Bat Boy, we salute you.

[Scribbler1]

BAT BOY 2006

Get the word out.

[Walmas]

Well i woke up one morning and i could only speak the glorys of the Alein Zorg. Was i abducted?

[Scribbler1]

Quote by: Walmas Well i woke up one morning and i could only speak the glorys of the Alein Zorg. Was i abducted?

I think you just feel asleep with the X-Box running, that's all.

[RickSp]

Come to think of it, I fell asleep in America and one day I woke up in this bizarre world with madmen running the country. It sort of looked like America but was different, strange, nasty.

Maybe alien abduction is the answer. Maybe one day I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal.


Nah. Only works that way in the movies