Lard T'underin Jaysus bye!

[Nono]

Another rumour I've heard is that Porter Goss has arranged for Newfoundland to declare war on the US today, thus providing the military with a war it could actually win, and nailing down that Bush victory.

Will supply further details as they emerge.

[Scribbler1]

Anyone read "The Mouse That Roared?"

But we would probably screw that one up too. Bush and his advisors will figure the country is so small we need to send only 47 soldiers and then EVERY one there will become an insurgent.
Probably throw fish at us or something.

[gr8fuldaniel]

Probably throw fish at us or something.

[Compugasm]

Originally posted by gr8fuldaniel, Probably throw fish at us or something.

I think you underestimate the army of Newfoundland

[Nono]

Comp's posted image doesn't work here. Ah well.

Anyway, sorry to disappoint you but the whole thing is off. I've just found this leaked transcript, on the website of The St John's Chronic Truncator, of an "ultimatum" made over the telephone by a senior Newfoundland official:

Maclean: Hallo, President Bush, this is Archie Maclean, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newf, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declarin' war on yous on account o’ yore persistent cod-snatching. Bush: Uh......................... hi, Archie. How big is your army? Maclean: Well sir, we have a large fleet of fishin' boats, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor. An' we're t'inkin' of modifyin' Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit. Bush: Bring it on! How many men? Maclean: (Pause) Right now, there is meself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. Dat makes eight! Bush: Ha! I got 400,000 men under arms. Maclean: Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!! I'll have ta call ya back! (Later.) Maclean: President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war. Bush: Well I'm sorry to hear that. Why? Maclean: Well, sir, we all sat ourselves down and had a long chat at the pub, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed 400,000 prisoners.