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tinybear · Jul 11, 2009, 12:41 am

Wow, ya mean when he fell in it, he wasn't "up the creek without a paddle" (there was one), but rather he was "up chocolate's creek without a popsicle stick"?

(That's a quote from Shrek 2)

Century 25 · Jul 11, 2009, 01:26 am

I'd say sweet demise but.. well, the guy must have gone quickly.. paddle-whacked into oblivion before suffocating. Here in the Valley, I have heard of at least 2 that were killed by.. 'morselization' - like this: Wood Chipper Deaths: How Does a Tree Care Worker Get Pulled into a Chipper? - Associated Content

That makes the chocolate dude's end look sweet indeed.

Nono · Jul 11, 2009, 06:31 am

OK, while we're whooping it up with highly amusing stories of industrial accidents, I'll remind everyone never to take the shortcut between the tractor and whatever piece of machinery its powering. Always go around.

Dan_77 · Jul 11, 2009, 05:09 pm

interesting. I wonder what the statutory amount is for death claims in NJ.

Deadeye · Jul 12, 2009, 12:02 pm

I told my neighbor about this terrible occurrence. He said:

"Well, now you can get your chocolate with nuts."

Deadeye · Jul 12, 2009, 12:19 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Century 25

I'd say sweet demise but.. well, the guy must have gone quickly.. paddle-whacked into oblivion before suffocating. Here in the Valley, I have heard of at least 2 that were killed by.. 'morselization' - like this: Wood Chipper Deaths: How Does a Tree Care Worker Get Pulled into a Chipper? - Associated Content

That makes the chocolate dude's end look sweet indeed.

I live in a wooded part of Oregon. Last year a guy was hired by the city to clear brush from alongside the a highway. He was using a wood chipper. After a while something clogged the chipper, so he climbed into the hopper, while the machine was still running; to kick the offending limb down and into the blades.....with predictable results.

There is a book entitled The Wood Chipper Murder; wherein a guy murders is wife (with a hammer) then cuts her up and freezes the pieces. He rented a wood chipper and ran the bits through spitting the "chips" into a stream.

He got away with it. The jury locked 11 to 1 for conviction. The perp was an airline pilot. The victim was a Swedish flight attendent. They found a toe in the stream. The "holdout" was a power seeking nut; finally someone was listening to him.

I guess the guy could have collected the now frozen yummies and coated them with chocolate and handed them out to the homeless or some such. That'd have worked too.

Deadeye · Jul 12, 2009, 12:22 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Century 25

I'd say sweet demise but.. well, the guy must have gone quickly.. paddle-whacked into oblivion before suffocating. Here in the Valley, I have heard of at least 2 that were killed by.. 'morselization' - like this: Wood Chipper Deaths: How Does a Tree Care Worker Get Pulled into a Chipper? - Associated Content

That makes the chocolate dude's end look sweet indeed.

The word Morselization is now part of my lexicon!

Deadeye · Jul 12, 2009, 12:52 pm

I'm afraid that I've been poisoned by my experiences as a Marine fighter pilot during the VN War. Nothing was sacred and we laughed at absolutely everything. We laughed at death, we laughed at funerals. We laughed about the people we were ordered to murder.

My sense of humor has not healed and I'm afraid I'm still crazy. As an example, one day a guy came into the ward room and mentioned his mother had died. One of the guys said, "Now your dad can screw the maid with a clear conscience." We all fell out of our chairs laughing.

I therefore, appoligize to you all for my weird humor. Consider me a victim of war.

Of course there was the time one of our guys flew into a mountaintop. He was still drunk from the night before when several guys purchased him 60 shots of tequilla at a dime a shot. He must have drank them. After the "club" closed he went out into the "vill" to drink some more.

He was up early (or he never went to bed) to mark targets for us with smoke and willy peter rockets. He misjudged a dive and just before he hit the deck he punched out. The chute didn't have time to open so he hit the rocky peak of the mountain, hard.

The guy's body was just a skin bag full of little broken bones. That night I mentioned it to one of my fellow pilots. He took a drink and said, "You've got to weed out the trash."

The guy who died was a nice guy too.

War, you see; does funny things to a guy.

The story of the guy dieing in a vat of chocolate would have engendered squeels of laughter.

dan4reason · Jul 12, 2009, 12:55 pm

This does seem slightly amusing, but however, it should not, the death was tragic.

Deadeye · Jul 12, 2009, 01:08 pm

Quote:

Quote by: tinybear

Wow, ya mean when he fell in it, he wasn't "up the creek without a paddle" (there was one), but rather he was "up chocolate's creek without a popsicle stick"?

(That's a quote from Shrek 2)

One goes almost nowhere paddling with a popsicle stick.

dan4reason · Jul 12, 2009, 01:19 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Deadeye

One goes almost nowhere paddling with a pipsicle stick.

Funny.

Deadeye · Jul 12, 2009, 01:33 pm

Quote:

Quote by: dan4reason

This does seem slightly amusing, but however, it should not, the death was tragic.

Sometimes the funniest jokes are about tragic occurrences. It's the contrast that makes them funny. Also jokes that shock are funny too.

Todays PC generation doesn't joke about much that's serious. They fear offending someone, but its offending someone that is funny.

Also one's sense of humor is like a muscle. The more you excercise it the better it gets. So let's all laugh it up!

We can start by howling over this black Alfred E. Newmen we have in the White House.

Century 25 · Jul 14, 2009, 12:45 am

Quote:

Quote by: Deadeye

The word Morselization is now part of my lexicon!

What a word.. lol.. maybe the urban dictionary could use it.. Did you ever see 'Fargo' ?

Another nasty thing that happens here every year.. a tree trimmer (or 2) wind up suffocated.. up under the palm fronds they have cut... over their heads..

They are trapped 50-60 up there.. can't breathe.. the heat too.. is enormous. Even at this hour the last I saw at 8.30p was still 110, and it's been dark for over an hour..

People shouldn't have to work in such unsafe conditions..

But yeah, life is tragic.. if we can't laugh at it.. you know how Limbaugh & Hannity dream the.. 'Reagan' dream.. did you ever see 'Weekend at Bernie's' ?

President Reagan Pictures - Strange President Reagan Pics

..and:

I still think this was the best:

Jul 11, 2009, 06:31 am	#23 (permalink)
Nono Throbbing Member Location: Old Europe Posts: 10,006	OK, while we're whooping it up with highly amusing stories of industrial accidents, I'll remind everyone never to take the shortcut between the tractor and whatever piece of machinery its powering. Always go around. "I wish I was as cocksure of anything as Tom Macaulay is of everything." -- Viscount Melbourne

Jul 11, 2009, 05:09 pm	#24 (permalink)
Dan_77 Esquire Location: NY Posts: 3,663	interesting. I wonder what the statutory amount is for death claims in NJ. "But it wasn't until he met his beautiful wife that he learned using logic and reason isn't enough. You have to be a dick to everyone who doesn't think like you." - South Park on Richard Dawkins

Jul 11, 2009, 12:41 am	#21 (permalink)
tinybear Volcanic Erupter Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 8,439	Wow, ya mean when he fell in it, he wasn't "up the creek without a paddle" (there was one), but rather he was "up chocolate's creek without a popsicle stick"? (That's a quote from Shrek 2)

Jul 11, 2009, 01:26 am	#22 (permalink)
Century 25 Hot Lava Location: Southwest desert - Valley of the Sun Posts: 1,350	I'd say sweet demise but.. well, the guy must have gone quickly.. paddle-whacked into oblivion before suffocating. Here in the Valley, I have heard of at least 2 that were killed by.. 'morselization' - like this: Wood Chipper Deaths: How Does a Tree Care Worker Get Pulled into a Chipper? - Associated Content That makes the chocolate dude's end look sweet indeed.

Jul 12, 2009, 12:02 pm	#25 (permalink)
Deadeye Hot Lava Posts: 2,368	I told my neighbor about this terrible occurrence. He said: "Well, now you can get your chocolate with nuts."

Jul 12, 2009, 12:52 pm	#28 (permalink)
Deadeye Hot Lava Posts: 2,368	I'm afraid that I've been poisoned by my experiences as a Marine fighter pilot during the VN War. Nothing was sacred and we laughed at absolutely everything. We laughed at death, we laughed at funerals. We laughed about the people we were ordered to murder. My sense of humor has not healed and I'm afraid I'm still crazy. As an example, one day a guy came into the ward room and mentioned his mother had died. One of the guys said, "Now your dad can screw the maid with a clear conscience." We all fell out of our chairs laughing. I therefore, appoligize to you all for my weird humor. Consider me a victim of war. Of course there was the time one of our guys flew into a mountaintop. He was still drunk from the night before when several guys purchased him 60 shots of tequilla at a dime a shot. He must have drank them. After the "club" closed he went out into the "vill" to drink some more. He was up early (or he never went to bed) to mark targets for us with smoke and willy peter rockets. He misjudged a dive and just before he hit the deck he punched out. The chute didn't have time to open so he hit the rocky peak of the mountain, hard. The guy's body was just a skin bag full of little broken bones. That night I mentioned it to one of my fellow pilots. He took a drink and said, "You've got to weed out the trash." The guy who died was a nice guy too. War, you see; does funny things to a guy. The story of the guy dieing in a vat of chocolate would have engendered squeels of laughter.

Jul 12, 2009, 12:55 pm	#29 (permalink)
dan4reason Critical Thinker Location: Pasco Washington Posts: 1,320	This does seem slightly amusing, but however, it should not, the death was tragic.