| I had a friend one time who could fart on cue. He was a fellow pilot in a Marine Corps A-4 squadron that I was a member of.
Now if you are a Marine and you can fart on cue you become instantly famous. It's a real talent. He'd mosy on over to a group of us and then just kind of stand there and smile. It took maybe five or six seconds for the effects to waft up to our noses and everyone would start gagging and retching. Then he'd just turn and stroll away searching out another group to attack.
Of course this made him very popular and fun to have around. Finally however his wife ordered him to leave the reserve squadron or she'd leave him, so he announced that to save his family he'd have to leave. He also promised to tell a select person the secret to his talent so that it'd be passed on to a new generation and not lost to posterity.
One day he saddled up next to me and whispered, "onions". Then he said, "Whatever you do don't take a shit".
Well I did my best, but I never could hold a candle to the Phantom Farter. He was a genius and was much missed. |