[When] are you stupid?

[triad]

If anyone has read the last few posts I have made, you might find them... enigmatic. Some of it has to do with being under the influence of a certain plant, other times I just feel like my head is unclear.

This has been happening a lot lately, and I am hoping its just a phase. If you want to help me out, you could tell me that when you were around my age (19), if you had similar cycles of intelligence. It seems like one week I am motivated, ambitious, creative, on the ball, energetic, etc; where as the next week I am tired, lazy, can't think straight, lack creativity, etc...

I know what you're thinking - 'he is bipolar'. Well - possibly, my mom is and it is hereditary. I am confident I have no chemical-imbalances in my head, so let's just eliminate that, please :).


So is it part of growing up? I know I lack sleep sometimes... but I don't feel that is responsible. Do hormones affect mood in a cyclical matter?

These questions shouldn't be overly-complicated for some of you, just want to know if anyone experiences similar patterns - and if you grew out of them.

Thanks

[Nono]

Quote by: triad ... when you were around my age (19), if you had similar cycles of intelligence. It seems like one week I am motivated, ambitious, creative, on the ball, energetic, etc; where as the next week I am tired, lazy, can't think straight, lack creativity, etc...

Did I experience that when I was 19? Yes. And do I continue to experience it still all these years later? Yes.

I wouldn't pretend to understand these mysteries, but we all doubtless have numerous cyclical phenomena going all the time, and these wave patterns are probably jumbled part of the time and in phase at other times. And no doubt there's a shitload of other influences at work as well.

Perhaps you've reached an age where you can regard yourself objectively enough to say "Hey, one week he's motivated, ambitious, creative, on the ball, energetic, etc; whereas the next week he's tired, lazy, can't think straight, lack creativity ... ".

[Maryjane]

Whew! I thought I was the only one going through this! I was beginning to think it was MY age (47) or I was depressed? I'm having difficulty concentrating on the written word. Not only has my participation on Volconvo slowed considerably, I don't feel like interacting socially with friends. I have no motivation, my sleep patterns are all over the place, I've even lost track of days. It's become so bad over the past two weeks, I felt the need to tell someone. (they probably think I'm nuts , really I'm not!)

I wouldn't pretend to understand these mysteries, but we all doubtless have numerous cyclical phenomena going all the time, and these wave patterns are probably jumbled part of the time and in phase at other times. And no doubt there's a shitload of other influences at work as well.

Nono makes a good point. I'm thinking (for me) it's just the time of year? My husband's birthday would have been the 5th. His illness stretched out from the 10th of January, to his death the 23rd, his burial wasn't until February. I handled the 4 year anniversary a lot better than years past since hitting the acceptance stage. My biggest concern was for my three kids. They seem to be doing well, in fact, my 21 year old finding direction in his life has really taken the edge off my worries. The only thing really stressing me out is my dog. He's 15, almost blind, has back problems. I spend a lot of time cleaning up accidents. He's part of the reason for my lack of sleep, but I can't bring myself to put him down because he's not sick, just old.


As far as being 19, I smoked quite a bit when I was your age. I don't recall being unmotivated. I seemed to always be doing something or going someplace. I've decided to start a project around the house to maybe kick start me back to my old self? That always seems to help. I can't wait for warmer weather so I can get back to working in my yard. Probably more information than you need but I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone.

[triad]

Quote by: Nono Perhaps you've reached an age where you can regard yourself objectively enough to say "Hey, one week he's motivated, ambitious, creative, on the ball, energetic, etc; whereas the next week he's tired, lazy, can't think straight, lack creativity ... ".

That makes sense... I am now mature enough to face myself and judge my own actions. NEVER would have looked at it that way. Maybe that is why sometimes I am happy with myself one week, and not the next... its because I am taking more responsibility for myself. (?)

Quote by: Maryjane Whew! I thought I was the only one going through this! I was beginning to think it was MY age (47) or I was depressed? I'm having difficulty concentrating on the written word. Not only has my participation on Volconvo slowed considerably, I don't feel like interacting socially with friends. I have no motivation, my sleep patterns are all over the place, I've even lost track of days. It's become so bad over the past two weeks, I felt the need to tell someone. (they probably think I'm nuts , really I'm not!)

Well you being 47 your stress levels definitely oust mine. It appears like you have had major additions to reasons FOR being stressed and depressed. It also appears like you are accepting them and overcoming them... which is amazing in itself. Sorry about your husband - and your dog's current state (I can relate to that one). This just proves that whether it is physical reasons, or mental reasons, everyone has reasons to go through stages of... (?) inner peace and happiness (?).

As far as being 19, I smoked quite a bit when I was your age. I don't recall being unmotivated. I seemed to always be doing something or going someplace. I've decided to start a project around the house to maybe kick start me back to my old self? That always seems to help. I can't wait for warmer weather so I can get back to working in my yard. Probably more information than you need but I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone.

Smoking GIVES me motivation. With my family history though, I try not to let any drugs takeover my life - therefore I am not high more than I am sober. This week is a good week... I bought a new truck, I have ambition to accomplish tasks, yadda yadda yadda. Looking back on the last 6 months though, next week I'll probably be the opposite. After reading your posts, Nono and Maryjane, I feel better about it now. So thanks... you've helped me more than you know.

[shawmutt]

It seems like one week I am motivated, ambitious, creative, on the ball, energetic, etc; where as the next week I am tired, lazy, can't think straight, lack creativity, etc...

It's all downhill from 19 kiddo.

4 years of working third shift and trying to get a college degree literally fried my brain. Now I just want a nice garden with tomatoes and good health to spend time with my son.

[Nono]

Quote by: shawmutt It's all downhill from 19 kiddo.

In terms of energy levels, this is sort of true. However, I remember when I was in grade 7 and plenty miserable, and an uncle of mine (yet another adult in my life who was a child of the Depression and never let you forget it) said "Cheer up! These are the best days of your life!"
Well he was wrong. Things started looking up for me in my 30s. There's a moral there somewhere.

[Nono]

Quote by: triad You being 47 your stress levels definitely oust mine. It appears like you have had major additions to reasons FOR being stressed and depressed. It also appears like you are accepting them and overcoming them... which is amazing in itself.

This is a good point. Maryjane has been through -- is still going through -- a real trauma: losing someone she loves and with whom she's had children who still need parents. Life's so incomprehensibly unfair sometimes.

It isn't surprising that this takes its toll. But time and new experience help dull the pain.

[nerdvincent]

Meditation kill stress, clear the mind and thus help to sleep better. Let's do meditation.

[Porfyra]

good idea

[Winter wind]

Quote by: triad This has been happening a lot lately, and I am hoping its just a phase. If you want to help me out, you could tell me that when you were around my age (19), if you had similar cycles of intelligence. It seems like one week I am motivated, ambitious, creative, on the ball, energetic, etc; where as the next week I am tired, lazy, can't think straight, lack creativity, etc...

I'm 17 so I don't know if this helps, but you describe something similar to being a teenager. Mood swings. Tired, lack of motivation and lucidness as well as creativity are all signs of general depression (not the bad kind, more just the "blue" kind). Going from that to a state of energy and optimism may just be a mood swing.

To cure it, find something that you have a passion for and focus on it like hell. I find that if you do this, you fall back on your passion to get you through your depressed stage. (mine is writing and video games)

[Maryjane]

Maybe that is why sometimes I am happy with myself one week, and not the next... its because I am taking more responsibility for myself. (?)

A revelation indeed and exactly what I've been trying to tell my oldest (21) I don't want him doing things to make ME happy. (I'm the only one that can do that) I want him to take responsibility to make HIMSELF happy! My middle son (19) on the other hand, self sacrifices for others (often his brother) to the point people take advantage of his good nature. I'm trying to teach him to recognize manipulation and not turn him into a cynic in the process. I guess I'm getting through to him? He and his brother had their first physical fight a few months ago, the younger one learned to assert himself and the older one learned boundaries. (side note...this is when I miss their Dad the most)

Well you being 47 your stress levels definitely oust mine. It appears like you have had major additions to reasons FOR being stressed and depressed. It also appears like you are accepting them and overcoming them... which is amazing in itself. Sorry about your husband - and your dog's current state (I can relate to that one). This just proves that whether it is physical reasons, or mental reasons, everyone has reasons to go through stages of... (?) inner peace and happiness (?).

I really don't have a lot to complain about other than wanting my old life back. (thanks for the condolences) Knowing the kids are happy, self sufficient, and if anything should happen to me, they will be ok, is my main goal right now for inner peace. I'm trying to figure out what makes me happy? LOL....funny, you mentioned buying a new truck.(now there's a responsibility!) I've back burnered getting an old CJ7 for two years, had one in my early 20's, but had to get rid of it when son 2 came along. I can't justify it right now till I get everything else straight, priorities yanno?

Smoking GIVES me motivation. With my family history though, I try not to let any drugs takeover my life - therefore I am not high more than I am sober. This week is a good week... I bought a new truck, I have ambition to accomplish tasks, yadda yadda yadda. Looking back on the last 6 months though, next week I'll probably be the opposite. After reading your posts, Nono and Maryjane, I feel better about it now. So thanks... you've helped me more than you know.

Heh...Oh I know about smoking, motivation, staying sober. I never turned to drinking as a way to cope, too many responsibilities and I don't like the out of control feeling I get with alcohol. On the other hand, my two oldest just found out I occasionally partake, they were totally clueless That was a funny conversation. I had to remind them of all those times they would come downstairs in the morning to find the furniture rearranged and the house totally cleaned.

4 years of working third shift and trying to get a college degree literally fried my brain. Now I just want a nice garden with tomatoes and good health to spend time with my son.

Hang in there Shawmutt....I have to agree with Nono, life gets good again mid 30's, early 40's. Just take care of your health! (er...does the wife fit in that picture?)

Meditation kill stress, clear the mind and thus help to sleep better. Let's do meditation.

That's why I enjoy working in the yard and projects around the house. I haven't figured out how to sit and do nothing to clear my mind, I'm a hands on kinda person.

I'm glad you feel better Triad. I do too, thanks for the OP and letting me ramble. Life is a roller coaster... for all of us. Only thing I can add is if you find yourself not wanting to do the simple things (brushing your teeth, getting out of bed, taking a shower) seek help. We all deserve to be lazy every once in a while but those are sure signs of depression.