A dying alcoholic

[Athena]

I am in a bit of an emotional jam again, and wonder how you would react to a dying alcoholic?

Thanks to my dog, I get to know all the homeless people in my neighborhood. I have known Ricky for about two years. About 4 days ago, he passed out in a field and the police checked him out but did nothing when Ricky gained consciousness. He came to my place and ate some punkin bread left over from a Xmass social gathering and watched a movie. He was very happy when he left. In less than five minutes he rang my bell and said he needed an ambulance. I rushed him to the emergancy room. Turns out he was suffering severe malnutrition, dehydration and its all made worse by exposure to the cold.

This made him work real hard to secure his place in recovery house for alcoholics. I know, because he made the calls from my home. Hopefully January first he will get in a recover place. If he lives that long. Of course he isn't going to stop drinking beer and start drinking water to prevent the dehydration. He also won't eat because he has diabetic alcoholic ketoacidosis- which means he isn't hungry because he is so malnurished. He might not live another 3 days, long enough to get in the recovery house.

What would you do?

[another day]

This is like asking what would you do to stop your friend dying from cancer. There's nothing you can do. By this point, alcoholism is not just a mental thing, it's a completely ingrained disease.

[Compugasm]

Quote by: Athena What would you do?

This person is so bad off, there is nothing I could do. I'm not trained to handle diabetic alcoholic ketoacidosis.

[gallo]

Quote by: Athena What would you do?

Offer comfort to the dying while you can.

[Maryjane]

Athena,
You've known this guy for two years and he's done nothing to make things better for himself?

I've tried helping people like that. What I discovered is you will drive yourself crazy trying to help someone that is hell bent on self destructing. I have a hard time finding sympathy for people that choose to throw their lives away.

My heart has been hardened. I sat in CICU for 13 days and watched the man I loved, the father of my children, struggle to stay alive. Why him? Why not someone who didn't give a shit about life? I know that sounds bad, but damn... if you don't care enough about yourself why should anyone else? I imagine the cops see this kind of thing all the time. It's no wonder they are apathetic.

You've done all you can do. You fed him and helped him find a place to live. You could open your house to him in hopes that it keeps him alive until he gets into a treatment program, but don't be surprised when he goes right back on his self destructive path. Good luck.

[Marilyn Monroe]

Quote by: Athena I am in a bit of an emotional jam again, and wonder how you would react to a dying alcoholic? Thanks to my dog, I get to know all the homeless people in my neighborhood. I have known Ricky for about two years. About 4 days ago, he passed out in a field and the police checked him out but did nothing when Ricky gained consciousness. He came to my place and ate some punkin bread left over from a Xmass social gathering and watched a movie. He was very happy when he left. In less than five minutes he rang my bell and said he needed an ambulance. I rushed him to the emergancy room. Turns out he was suffering severe malnutrition, dehydration and its all made worse by exposure to the cold. This made him work real hard to secure his place in recovery house for alcoholics. I know, because he made the calls from my home. Hopefully January first he will get in a recover place. If he lives that long. Of course he isn't going to stop drinking beer and start drinking water to prevent the dehydration. He also won't eat because he has diabetic alcoholic ketoacidosis- which means he isn't hungry because he is so malnurished. He might not live another 3 days, long enough to get in the recovery house. What would you do?

I know this is gonna sound cruel, but it's best not to get too friendly with these types of people because they will drain you, and there's nothing you can do. They are like leeches. Since you have gotten involved, and now know him, I'd give him all the help you can. Make him a bed on your porch, and get him a heater. Give him food, and water, or you could water down his beer, so he'll get more water, although beer is a diuretic, so this isn't good. Get him some gatoraid, or something with electrolytes in it. Compliment him when he does well, and just keep up a happy disposition. You'll be glad you did the right thing.

If you don't really want to get this involved, don't, and don't feel guilty about it. Make some calls to societies that help people, but not to agencies that will desert him, or make it worse, this is touchy I know, but you can only do so much. See if he has family, and possibly give them a call. It's there place to help him first and foremost.

[Athena]

Thank you everyone. I have determined, I will not give Ricky a ride to hospital again, but will call Cahoots, which picks up drunks and takes them to hospital and or the detox place. Wish I had thought of that 5 days ago. The hospital, detox center, police, Cahoots all know Ricky very well. Ricky goes to the detox place nightly and is put back on the streets in 8 hours. It is really a sick, sick system! I worked there for a brief time and was horrified by the inhumanity.

I sure as hell didn't want to get so involved. But my community is not a good one for people like him. They let them into the hospital when they are deathly ill, and then dump them back on the streets before they are recovered, and this how he got into my home a year ago. He was still very sick and weak and it was literally freezing outside. We have a shelter, but it wouldn't take drunks, and if someone breaks a rule they are thrown out for weeks, no matter what. So these people just die. My daughter went to Vermont and came home with the opinion that Vermont takes much better care of its homeless. That makes both of us want to move there. No one likes to see what we have on our streets.

We have a lot of homeless people, and most of them are alcoholic. They stand on the corners panhandling. They sleep on the ground everyhwere in the summer. It is nothing for me to speak with 6 of them while walking my dog. I want to at least move to another neighborhood where there aren't so many of them, but I don't think we have a neighborhood that isn't crawling with them.

I just don't deal well with this, and I love the difference between the male and female responses. Does anyone else see a difference in male and female responses?

Want really pisses me off is, him thinking I help him out because I have a special thing for him. What is it with men? Why do they think our care giving is about who they are, instead of realizing our care giving is about who we are? Shit, I would do as much for an injured bird. I speak with everyone on the path I walk, following my personal rules about being respectful and polite. Who they are doesn't matter.

I told Ricky if he left without eating, he could not come back, and he had the nerve to come back last night. I unloaded on him. He thinks he is being responsible for himself, and doesn't get, he wouldn't be going to the hospital if he was taking good care of himself. Selling his food stamps and having nothing to eat, is not okay. I thought he had come close enough to death to finally stop the denial. Some people do finally get it when they are that close to death. It pisses me off he is careless about using the emergancy room and hospital, as though he is owed this huge expense. The govenment is keeping him alive and he is being self destructive, and using people. Reality check, Ricky

I didn't so much need to know what to do, as I needed the support in the doing. It takes me days to stop thinking about these upsets, and I appreciate the agreement that he is not my responsibility. His family is having the same problem. He is tearing people apart and doesn't get it.

But if we can hold cigarette companies responsible for selling an addictive and deadly product, why can't we also hold alcohol companies responsible for the treatment centers for these pathetic addicts?

[Athena]

I am uneasy with what I have just done. I have added a comment about food stamp fraud to the Wikipedia explanation of food stamps.

Food Stamp Program - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I hope a few of you tell me what you think of this action.

[Suburbanite]

Quote by: Athena I am in a bit of an emotional jam again, and wonder how you would react to a dying alcoholic? Thanks to my dog, I get to know all the homeless people in my neighborhood. I have known Ricky for about two years. About 4 days ago, he passed out in a field and the police checked him out but did nothing when Ricky gained consciousness. He came to my place and ate some punkin bread left over from a Xmass social gathering and watched a movie. He was very happy when he left. In less than five minutes he rang my bell and said he needed an ambulance. I rushed him to the emergancy room. Turns out he was suffering severe malnutrition, dehydration and its all made worse by exposure to the cold. This made him work real hard to secure his place in recovery house for alcoholics. I know, because he made the calls from my home. Hopefully January first he will get in a recover place. If he lives that long. Of course he isn't going to stop drinking beer and start drinking water to prevent the dehydration. He also won't eat because he has diabetic alcoholic ketoacidosis- which means he isn't hungry because he is so malnurished. He might not live another 3 days, long enough to get in the recovery house. What would you do?

I don't know. Sorry, though, and its good to hear that some people in the world don't give up on people like this. The best thing you can do if it is going to die, certainly, is help to prepare him for that experience and see if he has anything he needs closure on in his life. I'm in a smimilar situation, my father is in very poor health and I don't think he is going to live five more years if he doesn't work on his health, so I'm trying to insist that he diet with me and exercise with me, I'm even joining a gym he wants to go to so we can use their pool. I am taking him off redmeats, transfattys, etc and hopefully he will lose a bit of weight and more importantly regain his youthful strength.

[Suburbanite]

Oh, yeah, and as far as addiction goes my room mate was a heroin addict, and let me tell you alcoholism isn't much prettier or easier to deal with. Just remember, like Hunter S Thompson says, you can turn your back to a friend but never to a drug. So, be safe, he will eventually rob you, if he becomes desperate enough.

[Heather]

Quote by: Athena But if we can hold cigarette companies responsible for selling an addictive and deadly product, why can't we also hold alcohol companies responsible for the treatment centers for these pathetic addicts?

Athena, what you’re going through is tough. I can understand the desire to want to help a friend, especially one in such desperate need, and the frustration when he seems to care so little for himself as to just give up.

I will say that holding alcohol companies responsible is not the answer. The larger majority of people can have a drink or two socially and it’s never a problem. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to put blame on a company because of individuals who would abuse their products. To me it would be similar to saying that we need to hold car companies responsible for reckless drivers. There is a point where people just have to own up to their own personal responsibilities and the consequences of them, or lack thereof, and this is a good example of that.

Just remember though, you’ve done what you can for him and that’s the best thing you can do and you should feel good about that as hard as that may be to see and feel at times.

[Marilyn Monroe]

Quote by: Athena I am uneasy with what I have just done. I have added a comment about food stamp fraud to the Wikipedia explanation of food stamps. Food Stamp Program - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I hope a few of you tell me what you think of this action.

What about the homeless that do buy food with the stamps? At some point the government becomes "big brother" if it has too many controls. I don't think the government can watch everything, and at some point we have to realize these aren't children. What they do with the stamps is their business.

As far as the guy thinking you're after him, as long as he doesn't get touchy, ignore it, or tell him you like him as a friend, period. Men will be men.

[kubedawg]

If you truly care about him, take him to a hospital and have him treated. There may not be much chance he will survive, but you'd be surprised at how much the human body can take.

My uncle is an alcoholic, was found in Ohio by my parents, at some cheap ass free clinic where it looked as if he was going to die. His liver failed. His kidneys failed. All beyond repair, and his stomach swelled to the size of a few bowling balls... He was truly on his death bed. My parents got him on a flight to here in Oklahoma, got him to a good hospital, and they treated him as much as possible, and released him, with a time of a few months at most to live. So far, it's been about 6 months, his kidneys and liver are starting to barely work again, and he's is continuously doing better.

Only problem is he's starting to drink again... Anywho, do whatever you think is the right decision, not necessarily what some forum mongers blab on about.