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Madeline · May 15, 2007, 10:47 am

How many relationships have you had so far? I had 4 boyfriends in the past, but didn't quite work out because they were only after sex. I was looking for someone who is more interested in a persons heart rather than their appearance. I'm totally worn out by guys who ask me out just to get me in bed, and it's sooo hard to find godly men out there. What about some of you? What sort of relationships have you had in the past, and how many?

Love,
Madeline

Madeline · May 15, 2007, 10:50 am

Oops, I kinda messed up with the poll thingy...you know, the 1-2 and 2-4. :)

Heather · May 15, 2007, 11:11 am

Madeline, I have had a serious relationship 3 times in my life. First with my current fiance, then my ex-husband, then another guy who I lived with for about a year, and then back to guy number one, my fiance.

I hate to say it Madeline, but there are a lot people out there (and not just guys) who aren't necessarily looking for long term relationship as it sounds like you are looking for, but I assure you, there are some good ones out there, you just have to keep your eyes open.

Chaossaber314 · May 15, 2007, 11:59 pm

I've had one serious relationship and a series of misadventures loosely related that involved getting out of situation of stalking by trying to date the stalker's worst enemy, only to find out the worst enemy was crazier than the stalker.

I guess I'm still in the one serious relationship. Things are really complicated right now. Can't really say for sure.

**Jack** · May 16, 2007, 12:59 am

You really don't want to know. Considering some of them, I don't really want to remember them all.

Zhavric · May 16, 2007, 09:06 am

Quote:

Quote by: Isherwood

You really don't want to know. Considering some of them, I don't really want to remember them all.

QFT. (quoted for truth)

I became sexually active when I was 17. I'm staring down the barrell of 30 and have had as many sex partners. That's roughly two to three sex partners a year on average. Mostly, it's been a lot of fun... with a few I'm not so proud of.

As for relationships? I've had about 12 girlfriends, two of which were what I would call serious.

Madeline I'm going to share a secret with you: There are a lot of good men out there who want to be in a sexually active relationship with one person. They aren't looking to sleep around. They're looking to sleep just with you and do all sorts of wonderful awesome boyfriend things for you. Try to keep an open mind.

EDIT: I also take umbrage at the idea one loses count at 5. I'm at 30. I know exactly how many people I've been with.

grandpa · May 16, 2007, 01:26 pm

I haven't been trying for any kind of relationship, really.

Grandpa h.

**Matt W** · May 16, 2007, 02:12 pm

A fair few. Generally, any relationship that has had potential has been wrong place, wrong time....

Madeline · May 16, 2007, 02:50 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Zhavric

Madeline I'm going to share a secret with you: There are a lot of good men out there who want to be in a sexually active relationship with one person. They aren't looking to sleep around. They're looking to sleep just with you and do all sorts of wonderful awesome boyfriend things for you. Try to keep an open mind.

EDIT: I also take umbrage at the idea one loses count at 5. I'm at 30. I know exactly how many people I've been with.

I understand, but I'm not looking for a partner who is sexually active. I'm looking for someone who likes me for who I am, not because they want a sexual relationship with me. Even though there are men who are looking for a sexually active relationship with one person, that's not what love is all about -- it's more than just sex. My ex-boyfriends were looking for just that, a sexually active relationship with one person (ME), and that's all they were after. It seems that most men want a sexually active relationship because their attracted to persons physical beauty rather than what's in their heart, and this bothers me. Where are the good guys who like you for what's on the outside and the inside?

Love,
Madeline

jose · May 16, 2007, 03:22 pm

looking back probably some ware between two to three thousand, i remember them all if you jog my memory. most were the paid for type while i worked in the far east, emotionally involved relationships maybe ten, my latest sixteen years with the same women

Madeline · May 16, 2007, 03:27 pm

Quote:

Quote by: jose

looking back probably some ware between two to three thousand, i remember them all if you jog my memory. most were the paid for type while i worked in the far east, emotionally involved relationships maybe ten

And you consider this good or bad?

jose · May 16, 2007, 03:43 pm

Oh good, i did all those things while i was young and attractive now i have no desire to know any other women than my own
but i will admit, i did talk to a councillor long ago as to why i couldn't hold down a relationship

Madeline · May 16, 2007, 03:49 pm

Quote:

Quote by: jose

Oh good, i did all those things while i was young and attractive now i have no desire to know any other women than my own
but i will admit, i did talk to a councillor long ago as to why i couldn't hold down a relationship

So what did your counselor have to say as to why you couldn't hold down a relationship?

jose · May 16, 2007, 03:55 pm

Quote:

The males of most mammalian species have a definite urge towards seeking variety in their sexual partners. If a male rat is introduced to a female rat in a cage, a remarkably high copulation rate will be observed at first. Then, progressively, the male will tire of that particular female and, even though there is no apparent change in her receptivity, he eventually reaches a point where he has little apparent libido. However, if the original female is then removed and a fresh one supplied, the male is immediately restored to his former vigor and enthusiasm.

Bold Type: Excerpt by Laura Zigman

Madeline · May 16, 2007, 04:10 pm

Ummmm, yeah...but we're not rats!

That's what your counselor told you? I think this person gave you some bad advice.

jose · May 16, 2007, 04:22 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Madeline

Ummmm, yeah...but we're not rats!

hey im a rat

or i was

Chaossaber314 · May 16, 2007, 09:35 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Madeline

It seems that most men want a sexually active relationship because their attracted to persons physical beauty rather than what's in their heart, and this bothers me. Where are the good guys who like you for what's on the outside and the inside?

I'm not sure you really grasp the level of emotional intimacy achieved through two people who love each, sharing themselves completely and both working toward making the other feel wonderful.

There's a connection you just can't get in any other way.

Madeline · May 16, 2007, 09:45 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Chaossaber314

I'm not sure you really grasp the level of emotional intimacy achieved through two people who love each, sharing themselves completely and both working toward making the other feel wonderful.

There's a connection you just can't get in any other way.

Oh yes I do! I have an emotional intimacy with Jesus, and that means the world to me -- but I digress. But as for sharing emotionial intimacy with a boyfriend or spouse, hasn't happened as of yet. I never had a boyfriend who truly loved me from the heart, but I'm sure that God will send one my way -- a godly man that is.

Love,
Madeline

Epistemologist · May 16, 2007, 11:57 pm

You shouldn't be under pressure to submit your body to your partner. I say waiting until marriage is the best deal and may even be some sort of insurance policy or barrier to acting too rashly, but I guess many still do it.

I hear a lot about relationships in which the guy cons the girl into thinking there'll be emotional stuff but really he's after sex. I don't hear much about the opposite, in which the girl cons the guy into thinking there'll be sexual stuff but really it's just romantic emotional stuff. I say, why condom when you can't con them? Ah, that sounds weird.

PatrickHenry · May 17, 2007, 12:10 am

What a personal question!

And how can I remember every friendship that got sexual in the past forty years?

I have been faithful to the same woman for over twenty-eight years now...

View Poll Results: How many relationships have you had so far?
1-2	12	42.86%
2-4	5	17.86%
4-6	3	10.71%
Lost track!	8	28.57%
Voters: 28. You may not vote

May 15, 2007, 10:47 am	#1 (permalink) (top)
Madeline Daughter of God Location: California Posts: 665	How many relationships have you had so far? How many relationships have you had so far? I had 4 boyfriends in the past, but didn't quite work out because they were only after sex. I was looking for someone who is more interested in a persons heart rather than their appearance. I'm totally worn out by guys who ask me out just to get me in bed, and it's sooo hard to find godly men out there. What about some of you? What sort of relationships have you had in the past, and how many? Love, Madeline Me and God, we'd be mates ;-)

May 15, 2007, 10:50 am	#2 (permalink) (top)
Madeline Daughter of God Location: California Posts: 665	Oops, I kinda messed up with the poll thingy...you know, the 1-2 and 2-4. :) Me and God, we'd be mates ;-)

May 15, 2007, 11:59 pm	#4 (permalink) (top)
Chaossaber314 The Cake is a lie... Location: St. Louis Posts: 2,343	I've had one serious relationship and a series of misadventures loosely related that involved getting out of situation of stalking by trying to date the stalker's worst enemy, only to find out the worst enemy was crazier than the stalker. I guess I'm still in the one serious relationship. Things are really complicated right now. Can't really say for sure. What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

May 16, 2007, 12:59 am	#5 (permalink) (top)
Jack formerly Isherwood Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 13,377	You really don't want to know. Considering some of them, I don't really want to remember them all. The Forum Rules Radical Atheist Heathen Queer Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be. (Ashleigh Brilliant)

May 15, 2007, 11:11 am	#3 (permalink) (top)
Heather Odd Girly Girl Location: Wisconsin Posts: 557	Madeline, I have had a serious relationship 3 times in my life. First with my current fiance, then my ex-husband, then another guy who I lived with for about a year, and then back to guy number one, my fiance. I hate to say it Madeline, but there are a lot people out there (and not just guys) who aren't necessarily looking for long term relationship as it sounds like you are looking for, but I assure you, there are some good ones out there, you just have to keep your eyes open.

May 16, 2007, 01:26 pm	#7 (permalink) (top)
grandpa blasphemer Location: Michigan Posts: 7,632	I haven't been trying for any kind of relationship, really. Grandpa h. News is something someone wants to suppress, everything else is advertising. - Lord Northcliffe, publisher of the Daily Mail

May 16, 2007, 02:12 pm	#8 (permalink) (top)
Matt W Moderator Location: Reading, UK. Posts: 6,451	A fair few. Generally, any relationship that has had potential has been wrong place, wrong time.... I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. -George Best, on being asked what he did with his footballing fortunes.

May 16, 2007, 03:22 pm	#10 (permalink) (top)
jose Volcanic Erupter Location: España Posts: 2,586	looking back probably some ware between two to three thousand, i remember them all if you jog my memory. most were the paid for type while i worked in the far east, emotionally involved relationships maybe ten, my latest sixteen years with the same women

May 16, 2007, 03:43 pm	#12 (permalink) (top)
jose Volcanic Erupter Location: España Posts: 2,586	Oh good, i did all those things while i was young and attractive now i have no desire to know any other women than my own but i will admit, i did talk to a councillor long ago as to why i couldn't hold down a relationship

May 16, 2007, 04:10 pm	#15 (permalink) (top)
Madeline Daughter of God Location: California Posts: 665	Ummmm, yeah...but we're not rats! That's what your counselor told you? I think this person gave you some bad advice. Me and God, we'd be mates ;-)

May 16, 2007, 11:57 pm	#19 (permalink) (top)
Epistemologist God is good Location: Down by the river, stealing your water Posts: 1,518	You shouldn't be under pressure to submit your body to your partner. I say waiting until marriage is the best deal and may even be some sort of insurance policy or barrier to acting too rashly, but I guess many still do it. I hear a lot about relationships in which the guy cons the girl into thinking there'll be emotional stuff but really he's after sex. I don't hear much about the opposite, in which the girl cons the guy into thinking there'll be sexual stuff but really it's just romantic emotional stuff. I say, why condom when you can't con them? Ah, that sounds weird. But what's to stop the manic tide, The suicide of our own pride? The Complex Last edited by Epistemologist; May 17, 2007 at 12:00 am. Reason: Added last paragraph to add witty remark

May 17, 2007, 12:10 am	#20 (permalink) (top)
PatrickHenry 9/11: Inside Job Location: Hawai'i, Big Island Posts: 10,438	What a personal question! And how can I remember every friendship that got sexual in the past forty years? I have been faithful to the same woman for over twenty-eight years now... "Arms in the hands of the citizens may be used at individual discretion for the defense of the country, the overthrow of tyranny or private self-defense." -- John Adams