Is Looking at Pornography Cheating?

[Madeline]

Quote by: fushigi But what about people who masturbate to excise the covetousness from their system--you know, like sin catharsis? Remember Something About Mary? Very true. Guys must release that sexual tension to become a normal human being. I mean, look at the issue with all those Catholic priests molesting boys. What if the Catholic order had instituted a different kind of "flogging" into their requirements for piousness, requiring that their fathers punch the clown at least three times a day? Priests would be so mellow then. No sex abuse scandals. No worries. And think of what it could have done for the lotion industry. I mean, those monks make dang good wine. Just imagine the quality skin creams they could've developed--way back in the dark ages. fushigi

Guys must release that sexual tension to become a normal human being? Sooooo, they're not a "normal" human being if their sexual tension isn't released? And those Catholic priests are just plain evil...I don't think it has to do with them not releasing their sexual tension -- I think they're just perverse and are just plain sickos!

Love,
Madeline

[Heather]

Quote by: Madeline And those Catholic priests are just plain evil...I don't think it has to do with them not releasing their sexual tension -- I think they're just perverse and are just plain sickos! Love, Madeline

So why then is it that the ones with pent up sexual desire are the ones molesting kids?

Think about it.

[Rinoa]

Guys must release that sexual tension to become a normal human being? Sooooo, they're not a "normal" human being if their sexual tension isn't released?

Lol, actually, even though you were poking fun and joking that statement is true. It has to do with chemical levels in the brain. Testosterone builds up causing the desire in their brain, then when they have sex another set of hormones floods the brain causing sexual desire to become secondary, similar to the way it is in women. The effect is somewhat temporary, lasting only until the testosterone has a chance to build up again.

Quote by: Heather So why then is it that the ones with pent up sexual desire are the ones molesting kids? Think about it.

Bad logic Heather. Plenty of people that aren't pent up priests go after kids as well, and there are plenty of priests that don't molest children. There are sickos and extremists in every group and it is unfair to judge one whole group of people by those that stand out.

[Heather]

Quote by: Rinoa Bad logic Heather. Plenty of people that aren't pent up priests go after kids as well, and there are plenty of priests that don't molest children. There are sickos and extremists in every group and it is unfair to judge one whole group of people by those that stand out.

No doubt there are pedophiles of all walks of life.

Let me ask you a question if my logic is so "bad". How often do you hear of minister of other religious sects using the trust of children to molest them?

Here's the way I see it. Let's say, for whatever reason, a person grows to have a fetish for young children, I'll bet there are a number of people who do not act upon it, but rather masturbate to the idea. If denied the ability to masturbate as a means to release such desires, what do you think will happen?

[Praxius]

Quote by: Heather So why then is it that the ones with pent up sexual desire are the ones molesting kids? Think about it.

Yeah I thought about it, and I believe you got some things mixed up.

I usually have pent up sexual desire as well... but I'm not going around molesting children, or raping women down the street.... But thanks for throwing me into that category, it's really appreciated. :rolleyes:

Allow me to elaborate on why most priests, if not all who molest, tend to go towards children:

It has nothing to do with actually desiring children to begin with (For most anyways, there are still some out there who are sick enough in the head to start right off the bat.) For priests in paticular, they are not allowed to get married, or to have any sexual relations..... eventually they get a tad screwed in the head (That's my medical opinion) and they start to unleash their frustraions..... how do they go about doing this? I'll tell you:

They tend to teach and lend an ear to the young children in their church, to gain trust, to get close to them, to give them an additional father figure.... they pick them at a young age, just prior to actually comprehending what sex is, and what is right/wrong in relation to sex (Most arn't taught the main points they need to understand)

So the Priest goes on saying it has something to do with Religion, they play with their heads, and trick them into doing what they want, by abusing their trust.... by the time the child begins to realize something is wrong with this picture, it's usually far too late, and they priest either has them scared they will goto hell if they turn on a priest, or they are convinced that no one would beleive them over a priest.... so they get stuck into it, and with lack of self confidence, at a vulnerable age of imprssion, these kids can get stuck into a world of crap.

Now why don't they go after adults and/or teenagers? Because they know better and would kick them in their shrivelled up nads, go to the police and they'd be screwed.... so they go for the easiest prey with the least amount of risks involved. They go for the age group where they have the most trust, the most influence, and the trust of their parents..... it's very sick.

Now this is one problem when you absolutly block out all sexual desires by force or law, and there is no release.... esspecially when you have to do this for the rest of your life. You see everybody else in relationships, everybody else having kids, having sex, talking about jerking it off..... after a while, I imagine it would mess with your head.

Generalizing everyone who has a sexual pent up feeling from time to time, just shows you haven't researched a lot on what sex really is, overall, in every aspect. If you learn to understand it, perhaps you would learn not to fear it. The negatives always outweigh the positives.... that's society for you.

[Rinoa]

Quote by: Heather No doubt there are pedophiles of all walks of life. Let me ask you a question if my logic is so "bad".

lol, it wasn't a personal attack, I was just pointing out that the general statemen made by the one sentence post had logic holes.

How often do you hear of minister of other religious sects using the trust of children to molest them?

Not hearing about it doesn't mean that is doesn't happen. It's just less publicized. Also, watch to catch a predator and see how many Rabbis and baptist bishops they found. They're in every religion.

Here's the way I see it. Let's say, for whatever reason, a person grows to have a fetish for young children, I'll bet there are a number of people who do not act upon it, but rather masturbate to the idea. If denied the ability to masturbate as a means to release such desires, what do you think will happen?

The person could find another way to suppress the desire, or they could sin and act on it. Just because the average person won't choose to suppress their sexual desire doesn't make it impossible.

Question, which is the bigger sin, molesting a child or masturbating? Child molesting, obviously. Do you honestly believe that priests that will sin to the point of molesting a child would refuse to commit other sexual sins as well? Doubtful. I'd bet that at least eighty percent of the catholic priests that molested the children also masturbated about it.

Did the original inhibition of masturbation contribute towards it? Possibly, but you're applying your own logic to a possible correlation...and a correlation that would be weak at best.

[Heather]

Quote by: Praxius Now this is one problem when you absolutly block out all sexual desires by force or law, and there is no release.... esspecially when you have to do this for the rest of your life. You see everybody else in relationships, everybody else having kids, having sex, talking about jerking it off..... after a while, I imagine it would mess with your head.

This is exactly what I was saying, that this likely occurs with such frequency because of pent up sexual desire. When did I say that everyone with pent up sexual desire goes around defiling people? Please don't take insult with my theory Praxius, it certainly was not intended that way, but rather, an idea based on the same logic you yourself have pointed out.

[fushigi]

Quote by: Madeline Guys must release that sexual tension to become a normal human being? Sooooo, they're not a "normal" human being if their sexual tension isn't released?

Yep, basically. Sorry. It's like food. When you're hungry, the only thing you can think about it food. But after you gorge yourself, you don't even want to look at it.

Thinking a LOT about sex is natural, and not a disease or a sin.

Researchers at the University of Chicago reported in 1994 that 54 percent of men and 19 percent of women admitted they think about sex every day -- or several times a day.

It's even MORE natural for men--because of the testosterone factor Rinoa mentioned above (women undergoing testosterone treatment report a heightened sex drive, which explains why the recently released testosterone patch is so effective).

[Madeline]

Quote by: Praxius Now this is one problem when you absolutly block out all sexual desires by force or law, and there is no release.... esspecially when you have to do this for the rest of your life. You see everybody else in relationships, everybody else having kids, having sex, talking about jerking it off..... after a while, I imagine it would mess with your head.

If I have any sexual desires, I usually read, exercise such as jogging, going for walks, or cook! After a while these sexual desires ebb away and eventually they're gone. Try it!

[Madeline]

Quote by: fushigi Yep, basically. Sorry. It's like food. When you're hungry, the only thing you can think about it food. But after you gorge yourself, you don't even want to look at it. Thinking a LOT about sex is natural, and not a disease or a sin.It's even MORE natural for men--because of the testosterone factor Rinoa mentioned above (women undergoing testosterone treatment report a heightened sex drive, which explains why the recently released testosterone patch is so effective).

Yes! But food is a vital necessity unlike sex. I can go without food for a while until I finally grab a bite to eat of starve to death. But I don't think I'm going to die if I don't have sex. As a matter of fact, I never had sex before and I'm still alive!

Love,
Madeline

[PatrickHenry]

Quote by: Madeline If I have any sexual desires, I usually read, exercise such as jogging, going for walks, or cook! After a while these sexual desires ebb away and eventually they're gone. Try it!

Sweetie, men and women don't have the same brain chemicals, equipment or roles in society. Cooking doesn't make that horny feeling go away if you're a guy...

[fushigi]

Quote by: Maddie Yes! But food is a vital necessity unlike sex. I can go without food for a while until I finally grab a bite to eat of starve to death. But I don't think I'm going to die if I don't have sex. As a matter of fact, I never had sex before and I'm still alive!

Ha, you only THINK you're alive

But seriously, like our desire for food, our urge for sex is something we need to survive as a species, Madeleine.

Q: What do you call a species that has no urge to mate?
A: Extinct.

Even most Christians understand that it's not wrong to have the urge--it's wrong to act on that urge in an irresponsible way. What makes an action irresponsible? When it hurts someone else.

Like eating to satisfy my desire for food. No problem, so long as I don't steal your food to do it, or eat to excess.

An individual's personal relationship with his or her hand doesn't hurt anyone--except maybe the prostitution industry, which loses a potential client.

[Heather]

Quote by: PatrickHenry Sweetie, men and women don't have the same brain chemicals, equipment or roles in society. Cooking doesn't make that horny feeling go away if you're a guy...

I was going to point out the same thing. Sex is more of an emotional journey for women, and more of a physical one for men.

I have known women who didn't even know what an orgasm was until they were middle-aged, I doubt that any man has ever experienced that or is even physically capable of experiencing that. Even if a man does refrain from masturbation, he will "explode in the night".

[Madeline]

Quote by: fushigi Ha, you only THINK you're alive But seriously, like our desire for food, our urge for sex is something we need to survive as a species, Madeleine. Q: What do you call a species that has no urge to mate? A: Extinct. Even most Christians understand that it's not wrong to have the urge--it's wrong to act on that urge in an irresponsible way. What makes an action irresponsible? When it hurts someone else. Like eating to satisfy my desire for food. No problem, so long as I don't steal your food to do it, or eat to excess. An individual's personal relationship with his or her hand doesn't hurt anyone--except maybe the prostitution industry, which loses a potential client.

Maddie, that's great! My friends call me Maddy! I have a desire to mate one day when I am married, but I think I can hold of til then. Personally, it would hurt me very much if I found out that my boyfriend or husband was masturbating whilst looking at another woman. What does she have that I don't? That wouldn't bother you if you caught your spouse masturbating to someone else? To me, it's cheating with your heart! But that's just me I guess.

Love,
Madeline

[Rinoa]

In Madeleines defense I haven't seen one lick of evidence stating that a man is physically incapable of distracting himself from feeling horny...only that it would be more difficult.

Quote by: Madeline Maddie, that's great! My friends call me Maddy! I have a desire to mate one day when I am married, but I think I can hold of til then. Personally, it would hurt me very much if I found out that my boyfriend or husband was masturbating whilst looking at another woman. What does she have that I don't? That wouldn't bother you if you caught your spouse masturbating to someone else? To me, it's cheating with your heart! But that's just me I guess. Love, Madeline

Most of the people in this thread, including, I believe, PH stated that it should be decided by the individual couple, if one feels it is then it is.

Quote by: PatrickHenry Sweetie, men and women don't have the same brain chemicals, equipment or roles in society. Cooking doesn't make that horny feeling go away if you're a guy...

Personal peetpeeve right there...Don't call a woman sweetie unless she is A) your significant other or B) a relative. I answer phones for a living, and nothing makes me feel more talked down to than a stranger on the phone using a pet name. Sorry to sidetrack, but you don't seem like the type that enjoys offending women that way, so I thought I'd let you know that it can.

[Sarah22]

I think it is cheating
Someone wanted me to "pose" for him, and he had a girlfriend. That would be completely wrong, in my opinion, because it would create an unecessary strain in their relationship.

[Praxius]

Quote by: Madeline If I have any sexual desires, I usually read, exercise such as jogging, going for walks, or cook! After a while these sexual desires ebb away and eventually they're gone. Try it!

Guys generally have a one track mind, so even if I try and distract myself with a hobby, it's still on the mind, and I can't concentrate on the hobby. I have very good mental disapline (So far I haven't killed anybody in my life ) but my sexual desires don't bother me enough to need to distract myself daily, or regularly. Chances are when you're talking to me face to face, you probably couldn't tell I was thinking of grabbing some arse and making some waves....

[fushigi]

Quote by: Sarah22 I think it is cheating Someone wanted me to "pose" for him, and he had a girlfriend. That would be completely wrong, in my opinion, because it would create an unecessary strain in their relationship.

Pose, like for a sketch, or something else?

[Sarah22]

Quote by: fushigi Pose, like for a sketch, or something else?

I think he wanted to take pictures of me naked so he could look at them for fun later
so pretty much porn. I don't see how that isn't cheating.

[fushigi]

Uh, yeah. Gotta agree with you there.

But what if he'd had his girlfriend's consent? Still cheating? And would you have gone for it?