Is Looking at Pornography Cheating?

[Arawn-ap-Hywel]

Quote by: Praxius That's not a good enough answer for me, lol Who is to say a man couldn't get insight from doing the same thing? Infact... it would tell them more about what pleasures them, what will make them last longer.... what might make your night better next time.

The answer may well not be enough, but I am not prepared to side track the debate further. You may always PM if you really need more information.

I can see your point on male discovery of his "equipment" we have all enjoyed this and found much gained, but there is a point when enough is enough :)

Quote by: Praxius Do you seriously believe the majority of males are ruled by their penis? I am case in point that contradicts that claim.... I won't go into details right now, but let's just say I got my control over my body and mind just fine.... and I don't need to restrict what I want to do with my life in any way. You know..... this could be very easily compared to a guy telling a woman giving birth doesn't hurt that much..... it's pretty arogant and ignorant towards what men actually are..... sorry this sound so..... so..... 1952. #1 - I don't think I would considder myself a "Young Man" anymore..... I've gone through enough BS in my lifetime to at least get a bit more respect then that, thank you. #2 - It's only a myth to you because you have no way of understanding or experiencing what men go through.... you don't hear me on here trivializing your period or giving birth, do you? I honestly never though the term blue ball ment anything at all.... until it happened once..... and that pain is something I wouldn't want to use as an excuse..... that sucks.

A lot of young males are ruled in the manner I state.

Arrogant, of course, I have never said I'm not :)

See reply to shawmutt, and further explanation, it is a relatively uncommon condition, I do sympathise I've had similar pain due to severe groin strain, nearly a hernia. but pain can be controlled with correct discipline and training. (Again this is not for all people and medical advice should be taken if you are not aware of your body ...readers)

Quote by: Praxius Indeed.... I found it slightly offensive, mainly because I know when a male would come on here or anywhere else for that matter and express ideals such as those..... there would be a load of women ready to rip his balls off..... (No pun intended to the topic at hand..... And no pun intended with the hand in the pun. :eek: )

Praxius what gender do you think I am?

I presume you consider I'm female (roflmao)

[PatrickHenry]

Quote by: Arawn-ap-Hywel ...a male must learn greater emotional and bodily discipline and hold back, preferably refraining from releasing sperm until a number of days of sensual delights have past, the more the better....

This is just uninformed opinion.
You should seek the counsel of a urologist. Mine told me to ejaculate frequently.

If your partner is indisposed or unavailable, taking care of your own needs isn't wrong...

[Madeline]

I've read somewhere that masturbation is "sometimes" associated with mental ilness since many mental patients and even schizophrenics are known to masturbate often, even in public. Chimpanzees masturbate, let's not lower ourself to the level of primates.

Love,
Madeline

[The Bacon Guy]

Quote by: Madeline I've read somewhere that masturbation is "sometimes" associated with mental ilness since many mental patients and even schizophrenics are known to masturbate often, even in public.

You're mixing up cause and effect. The reason this correlation exists is because people who suffer from mental illness can sometimes exhibit disinhibited sexual behaviour, and because changes in sex drive can occur as a result of psychological problems such as depression. Excessive masturbation is an effect of mental illness; not a cause.

Quote by: Madeline Chimpanzees masturbate, let's not lower ourself to the level of primates.

Chimpanzees also eat fruit. Will you be abstaining from this as well?

[Hmm]

Quote by: Madeline Chimpanzees masturbate, let's not lower ourself to the level of primates. Love, Madeline

And that was supposed to prove what?

Chimpanzees scratch their heads, let's not lower ourselves to the level of primates.

It's not a very effective argument, Madeline.

[ZNFYRH]

The question of this topic is such a subjective thing that each couple would need to get it out in the open and talk about it as soon as it might be an issue.

Some girls get turned on by finding porn on their boyfriend's computer. Some think he's a cheater and dump him.

Personally, I don't think porn is cheating.

If a couple is in a rough spot in their relationship and aren't finding much time for sex, or just aren't in the mood, there are worse things for either person to do than gratify themselves. They aren't going out and cheating.

[Rinoa]

Arawn: I didn't realise you meant that ejaculation should be held off during sex with the female...Making sure she has an orgasm beforehand (or at the very least taking care of her another way afterwards) is one thing, but to completely deny him the pleasure of orgasm when sharing with one another? That, imo, could be considered sexual abuse if it goes on for a long period of time. I don't see how it would encourage the health of the relationship...But to each his own I guess...

[Madeline]

People who masturbate demonstrate that they have no self-control over their sexual yearnings. There are innumerable ways we can relieve sexual desires without engaging in a filthy and abnormal sexual act. Exercise, reading books, or enjoying your favorite hobby/s are ways we can overcome abnormal sexual desires. This is what I do when I see hot guys on the internet or on TV. Just something to ponder on, hope this helps!

Love,
Madeline

[tman_ndsu08]

What about girl on girl porn?

That's by far the hottest to watch and I know for fact that neither of the girls wants anything to do with me.

Cheating?

[tman_ndsu08]

Quote by: Madeline People who masturbate

Why are you pretending that you don't?

Every person who has every existed has masturbated, including you.



Jesus masturbated.

[The Bacon Guy]

Quote by: Madeline People who masturbate demonstrate that they have no self-control over their sexual yearnings.

No they don’t. They just choose not to exercise their self control because there is no reason that they should, in the same way that you choose to post on this forum because, I assume, you find it enjoyable and there is no reason not to. It doesn’t mean you have no self control; it just means you choose not to exercise it.

Quote by: Madeline There are innumerable ways we can relieve sexual desires without engaging in a filthy and abnormal sexual act.

Masturbation does not fit any definition of abnormal. In fact, abstaining from masturbation is decidedly abnormal in a statistical and social sense.

Quote by: Madeline Exercise, reading books, or enjoying your favorite hobby/s are ways we can overcome abnormal sexual desires.

Repression is not a psychologically healthy way of dealing with something.

Quote by: Madeline Just something to ponder on, hope this helps!

Thanks, but I think I'd prefer an orgasm.

[Hmm]

Quote by: Madeline People who masturbate demonstrate that they have no self-control over their sexual yearnings. There are innumerable ways we can relieve sexual desires without engaging in a filthy and abnormal sexual act. Exercise, reading books, or enjoying your favorite hobby/s are ways we can overcome abnormal sexual desires. This is what I do when I see hot guys on the internet or on TV. Just something to ponder on, hope this helps! Love, Madeline

Masturbation is not filthy, nor is it abnormal.

Again, I'll ask you this: Why do you find it to be filthy?

And what gives you the slightest notion that it is abnormal? It has been documented in other animals and is natural due to the fact that it prepares an animal for sexual acts. I suggest you look at this: Non-human animal sexual behavior - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Heather]

Quote by: Madeline I've read somewhere that masturbation is "sometimes" associated with mental ilness since many mental patients and even schizophrenics are known to masturbate often, even in public. Chimpanzees masturbate, let's not lower ourself to the level of primates.

Dogs also lick their genitalia, so what? That doesn't make us dogs, does it? I would be interested to see these articles that say there is scientific evidence that masturbation is a mental illness.

Quote by: Madeline People who masturbate demonstrate that they have no self-control over their sexual yearnings. There are innumerable ways we can relieve sexual desires without engaging in a filthy and abnormal sexual act. Exercise, reading books, or enjoying your favorite hobby/s are ways we can overcome abnormal sexual desires. This is what I do when I see hot guys on the internet or on TV. Just something to ponder on, hope this helps!

Can I ask you question? If one refrains from sexual fantasy and from exploring and learning their own body, then how is one to share themselves physically with their partner if they don’t even know what they are sharing?

[fushigi]

Quote by: Heather I say looking at porn is really no different than having a sexual fantasy, which we all have and there is no way to regulate that, so what’s the difference? It is seems to me to be little more than an "aide" to that fantasy.

It IS cheating if you don't talk about it with your girlfriend / boyfriend. And if you're not willing to talk about it / too embarrassed, you should consider whether the relationship is really that strong after all.

I've made it my policy to report the majority of my fantasies to my girlfriend, and have been pleasantly surprised how open / supportive she is of them.

[fushigi]

Quote by: Madeline People who masturbate demonstrate that they have no self-control over their sexual yearnings.

Well, Madeline, my conclusion as a 17-year offender is that masturbation is the ONLY effective means of self control over sexual yearnings. Believe me, I tried sports and books, TV and all that stuff. IMO the only thing you end up with by not consciously masturbating is wet dreams.

[Mia]

I think that the poster recommending abstaining from orgasm is referring to a school of thought....dang, I can't remember the name....where doing so builds something up inside himself....there's tantric......why don't you just tell us the name?

Madeline, I am shocked that you would think that masutrbation is either filthy or abnormal. Have you looked at any studies on the subject? The exact opposite is true.

Although it's NOT true that everyone does. 99% of men and 65% of women.

[shawmutt]

99% of men and 65% of women

Admit they do it...

[tman_ndsu08]

Quote by: Mia Although it's NOT true that everyone does. 99% of men and 65% of women.

100% of both do it.

[Madeline]

Quote by: fushigi Well, Madeline, my conclusion as a 17-year offender is that masturbation is the ONLY effective means of self control over sexual yearnings. Believe me, I tried sports and books, TV and all that stuff. IMO the only thing you end up with by not consciously masturbating is wet dreams.

A persons mind is a playground for dirty thoughts, which is why we need to fill our thoughts with something positive. I stated before that I am a Christian and I believe that the bible instructs us on how we are to overcome these temptations. It tells us to think on things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Quote by: tman_ndsu08 100% of both do it.

That's a fallacious statement, because in order to verify that one must know what people do in the privacy of their own homes. I think people think that all people masturbate because they do it all the time and have no self-control over it. I think it's shameful that they do!

Love,
Madeline

[Madeline]

Quote by: tman_ndsu08 Why are you pretending that you don't? Every person who has every existed has masturbated, including you. Jesus masturbated.

Btw, Jesus did not EVER masturbate!!! Masturbation is a sin according to Christianity. Jesus was sinless so He couldn't have masturbated. Please don't say such insulting remarks.