The Claim Game!

[Kamehameha34]

Here's how it works:

I will post a function in nature, and the person below me will make an unfalsifiable, and absurd claim as to how it works, then name another function of nature.

For example:

Quote by: Kame Rain.

Quote by: Player 1 It's caused by werewolves too microscopic to be detected. They drink the water that evaporates into the atmosphere, and urinate upon us. Gravity.

Etc.




This game may be a little too complicated to catch on, but it's a good thinking excercise



I'll start;

The universe's expansion.

[notworthabean]

all flying creatures are secretly in a conspriacy to destroy the universe in as slow a fashion as possible, to do so they are flying at the same time, causing the universe to expand indectecbel amounts over the course billions of years.

meteors

[Kamehameha34]

God's playing tennis.


Electricity.

[abub]

Quote by: Kamehameha34 Electricity.

energy from the souls of the damned is collected and distributed into our buildings by selfless CEOs.

um... caffeine?

[phoenix_fire]

Caffeine-an infinitesimally small piece of Ambrosia in food and drink that can temporarily confer some small bit of deific might upon the consumer. Careful: in too large of amounts, it can strain the corporeal body of the user that was, after all, never meant to have that kind of power.

magnetism.

[Kamehameha34]

Manifests of human relationship, transferred onto the magnet in the presence of electricity.



Stupid people.

[phoenix_fire]

Quote by: Kamehameha34 Manifests of human relationship, transferred onto the magnet in the presence of electricity. Stupid people.

Aliens. They abduct and stupefy a certain portion of the population in order to keep humanity from becoming a threat. The stupefied ones are able to keep the smart ones in check through bullying, abuse, drunk driving, murder, voting, obtaining high office, reproducing often and with multiple partners to saturate the gene pool with the stupid gene, running Hollywood and television, and posting asinine things on debate forums.

Nancy Pelosi.

[Jimmy the Pro]

Quote by: phoenix_fire Nancy Pelosi.

A new milestone for women's rise in political politics, more ammo for the radical femenists, a speaker of the house that ACTUALLY cares about rights and civil liberties, the leader of a new bipartisan-focussed Congress.

You

[phoenix_fire]

Quote by: ldmaniac A new milestone for women's rise in political politics, more ammo for the radical femenists, a speaker of the house that ACTUALLY cares about rights and civil liberties, the leader of a new bipartisan-focussed Congress. You

That's the best absurd claim yet!

Me: I am a condensed energy entity. I chose this form so that I could observe this species. I am not impressed.


Sporks.

[Jimmy the Pro]

Quote by: phoenix_fire That's the best absurd claim yet!

:rolleyes: I hope by absurd you mean true.

Quote by: PF Sporks.

An invention meant to end extremely unethical utensil segragation and dinner tables.

Metacognition...

[phoenix_fire]

Quote by: ldmaniac :rolleyes: I hope by absurd you mean true. An invention meant to end extremely unethical utensil segragation and dinner tables. Metacognition...

I was making a nod toward the rules:

Quote by: Kame Here's how it works: I will post a function in nature, and the person below me will make an unfalsifiable, and absurd claim as to how it works, then name another function of nature.

[Jack]

I never metacognition I didn't like. :)
The collective consciousness created by many small thoughts collecting in the ether and condensing into a single, pointless thought.

Serendipity.

[Fonceai]

Serendipity...

God showing you how much he doesn't like you by dangling something in front of you that you want and then letting your own ineptitude result in not acquiring it.

Beginner's Luck

[Jimmy the Pro]

Quote by: Fonceai Beginner's Luck

A surefire way to lose all of your money in Vegas


525,600 Minutes...

[Epistemologist]

The clock factory hatched an elaborate conspiracy that involved the assassination of JFK, the rise of Khomeini in Iran, and the production of the movie Borat; the plot was supposed to add that number of minutes to time so that they get more money from clock sales because consumers get more confused about what the time is.

French fries.

[Jimmy the Pro]

Quote by: Epistemologist French fries.

An unamerican food so graciously recognized and changed to FREEDOM FRIES because the word change was effective enough to scare the terrorists so bad they dare not touch foot on our lands and order our delicious McDonald's FREEDOM FRIES!

TAKE THAT TERRORISM!!! YAY RUMSFELD

[Kamehameha34]

You're supposed to say something else for someone else to codify into unfalsifiability at the end :(

[Epistemologist]

A top-secret project codenamed DBY-2031, Rumsfeld was created by U.S. scientists in the 1950s during the Cold War for use against the U.S.S.R. Originally, the plan was to launch the weapon into orbit via rocket, and it was supposed to travel to the Soviet Union and eliminate the communist leadership. However, it escaped from its container and killed its scientists. It was rediscovered in the 1990s and was later put to use by the Bush administration. Wow I wasted my time with that claim. :(

Bellybutton lint.

[phoenix_fire]

Bellybutton lint - causes cancer.


South Park.

[Jack]

South Park.

An alternate, parallel universe where people are animated, but much more interesting to be around. To date, Mr. Hanky is the only resident of that universe to successfully cross over into ours. As a result of the metaphysical quantum transmorphic migration, he lost his voice and ability to sing and dance and has been reduced to a mute piece of shit.

Summer solstice...