What motivates you to buy a woman drinks?

[Mia]

I'm talking about one you meet in a bar. Are you hoping it will end up in her going home with you? Are you calculating that it will buy her attention for 'x' amount of time?

Most of my life I have said 'no' to men offering to buy me drinks. I don't want to lead them on or take advantage of them, since I know they are not going to get what I believe their goal is.

But lately I've been visiting a neighborhood kind of place with a lot of regulars and I have accepted drink offers.

Last evening, a man I would probably not go out with but who was pleasant to talk to bought me two drinks. Never asked me out, never hit on me...

So I'm wondering 'what did he get out of that?' Is it some old-fashioned courtesy? Was it just my company and conversation that he secured? (I think most women realize that by accepting the drink, they are tacitly agreeing to giver her attention to the man for a reasonable period).

Since this site is mainly men, I thought you guys could offer me some insight.:)

[Kamehameha34]

It's an ice breaker. Look at it this way:

It costs us one drink to find out if you're interested.

[jose]

Well the chances of lady offering to buy me a drink, and have a chat are pretty slim, so i guess guys have to offer, sometimes you meet interesting people who can see further than others who think your out for sex, without you even knowing what the person is like. thinking about it i dont think i ever have or would take someone back to my place, from a chat in a bar

[Gods_Mercenary]

Get em drunk, lower their inhibitions! :)

In all seriousness, its probably a courtesy to start conversation and see if they're interested.

[G. Adams]

Quote by: Mia I'm talking about one you meet in a bar. Are you hoping it will end up in her going home with you? Are you calculating that it will buy her attention for 'x' amount of time? Most of my life I have said 'no' to men offering to buy me drinks. I don't want to lead them on or take advantage of them, since I know they are not going to get what I believe their goal is. But lately I've been visiting a neighborhood kind of place with a lot of regulars and I have accepted drink offers. Last evening, a man I would probably not go out with but who was pleasant to talk to bought me two drinks. Never asked me out, never hit on me... So I'm wondering 'what did he get out of that?' Is it some old-fashioned courtesy? Was it just my company and conversation that he secured? (I think most women realize that by accepting the drink, they are tacitly agreeing to giver her attention to the man for a reasonable period). Since this site is mainly men, I thought you guys could offer me some insight.:)

I don't. Men who buy women drinks are chumps. A lass will take a drink then tootle off with her friends. Better to talk first, get her interested and then get the drink, so that she's far less likely to be dragged off by her friends. Or if your as charming as me you can tell her she can buy you a drink It's worked for me often, and when it doesn't I look shocked and appalled that she won't and get the drinks anyway, which comes off as a cheeky/cute mix. It's win win either way.

[kubedawg]

I don't offer drinks nor do I go to bars to pick chicks up.

[Mia]

Quote by: G. Adams A lass will take a drink then tootle off with her friends.

I won't do that. If I accept a drink, I know that I am signing up for a chat.

I won't let a man continue to buy me drinks if I am not interested. One time I started talking about a boyfriend and the man turned off the tap right away but still continued to hit on me.

I felt I was fair to him by giving a 'not interested, save your money' signal..............

I have gone so far as to say directly that: save your money, I am not going home with anyone.

That is when I was younger and the places I frequented with my friends were largely 'meat markets'.

[The Bacon Guy]

I don’t buy strangers drinks for the simple reason that the vast majority of women I meet I can’t stand. I go through a ton of women before I actually find one I can stand to be around, so I don't have the money or the patience to be buying drinks in order to get to know them.

[G. Adams]

Quote by: Mia I won't do that. If I accept a drink, I know that I am signing up for a chat. I won't let a man continue to buy me drinks if I am not interested. One time I started talking about a boyfriend and the man turned off the tap right away but still continued to hit on me. I felt I was fair to him by giving a 'not interested, save your money' signal.............. I have gone so far as to say directly that: save your money, I am not going home with anyone. That is when I was younger and the places I frequented with my friends were largely 'meat markets'.

Yes but we all know your an exceptional lady, Mia

We've very much got a drinking culture here in the UK and no one on a night out says no to a drink as long as they don't look like a weirdo with a pocket full of roofies. When I started going to bars and clubs at 16 I tried the buying drinks schtick and all that happened was is that my wallet emptied faster. And frankly a lot of the prettiest women know it so have no intention of staying to talk, they take the drink and leave.

Not that I'm cynical or anything:rolleyes:

[Autolykos]

I'm with G. Adams on this one. A good rule of thumb is, don't buy a woman a drink before you think she's interested (which means talking to her first).

Now, as for the motivation, two words will sum it up: getting laid. Then again, that's a guy's motivation for everything he does.

- Rob

[Jack]

I'd buy a woman a couple of drinks just to loosen her up so she'd start trash talking all her friends and celebrities. That's always fun.

I'd buy her even more drinks until she passed out if she had a cute boyfriend who let me know he's interested.

[Zhavric]

What motivates you to buy a woman drinks?

Sex.

[bishop]

can't remember a time when i bought a girl drinks for a specific purpose. when i used to party in nyc, i used to get my girls drinks - but they also got me and everyone else drinks. we did the rounds. i dated a couple of them, but it definitely wasn't paying for booze that got me in.

[Epistemologist]

I imagine a man buys a woman drinks with the subconscious expectation that he'll woo her. Indeed, they may often claim that their intentions are noble and chivalrous, but come on, what kind of noble and chivalrous person visits bars in the wee hours of night?

[bishop]

heh... imo, any guy who buys a woman drinks in order to get with her is dumb as bricks. it's about as effective as walking up to her and going "hey baby, you know what would look good on you? me."...

all the girls i know had that game down to a science. if they didn't just take the drink and walk away, they'd definitely give the dumb fool a fake number... or, they'd covertly trash them in front of their friends.. never been pretty. some of my platonic female friends even went so far as to tell me never to buy a girl drinks.

[Epistemologist]

Quote by: bishop all the girls i know had that game down to a science. if they didn't just take the drink and walk away, they'd definitely give the dumb fool a fake number... or, they'd covertly trash them in front of their friends.. never been pretty. some of my platonic female friends even went so far as to tell me never to buy a girl drinks.

Indeed, the man's desperation is often a sign to just leave. Then again, I'm sure there are coolly suave drink-buyers who could fool anyone.

[bishop]

well.. i'm sure if the guy's looking all "mr. big", then you might actually give him the time of day - regardless of whether/not he buys you a drink.

god am i glad that i'm faaaaar past the dating scene. that crap is such a major pain in the ass. the song and pony dance us guys have to do is retarded...

[Epistemologist]

Quote by: bishop well.. i'm sure if the guy's looking all "mr. big", then you might actually give him the time of day - regardless of whether/not he buys you a drink. god am i glad that i'm faaaaar past the dating scene. that crap is such a major pain in the ass. the song and pony dance us guys have to do is retarded...

Whether it be putting a roll of quarters down your pants or paying a visit to the dimple machine, it's pretty bad when men/women deceive each other in order to enhance their quasi-attractiveness. Then again, perhaps the lies are just another facet of human nature.

[Mia]

Quote by: bishop well.. i'm sure if the guy's looking all "mr. big", then you might actually give him the time of day - regardless of whether/not he buys you a drink. god am i glad that i'm faaaaar past the dating scene. that crap is such a major pain in the ass. the song and pony dance us guys have to do is retarded...

Oh, but I don't like the acting all Mr. Big guys. Yuck.

I will say this - if I'm already talking to a guy and he DOESN'T buy me a drink, I wonder about his interest. It's kind of a signal.

[Praxius]

I don't buy drinks for other people, because I'm cheap.

Actually, I don't goto the bars. Nor has trying to pick up women at a bar ever really works.

The situation for me, is I will buy my own drinks. If I see a girl I wanted to talk to, which is rare, then I will talk to them.... I will allow her to get her own drinks and drink as long as she is comfortable.

If the conversation lasts longer to the point where she has run out of money to buy drinks for herself, I might consider buying her a drink or two at that point.

If the girl has no drink, and expects you to buy her a drink to talk to her, that's a good sign that she's a money grubbing slut and you're better off moving on.... you know, unless you're into getting ripped off for a cheap lay.