You, yes YOU, are a bad person!

[Captain Chaos]

You, the person reading this sentence, are a very bad person. You have done horrible things and you know it.

Now, be an adult and confess to the awful things you have done. I will then consult with the sky gnomes to determine what penance you must perform to make up for your awful deeds.

[Plasma Snake[D]]

I.... ate the last of the cheese.

[Captain Chaos]

Quote by: Plasma Snake[D] I.... ate the last of the cheese.

ah....


A lesser but still significant sin.


Grolnorthopolopoqath, sky gnome of cheese cutting, says you are to give yourself 4 dutch ovens in penance!

If you do not know, a dutch oven involves farting under the covers while your head is under them!

[Compugasm]

OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

[Gods_Mercenary]

I suppose you're making fun of the rites of penance, an interesting target since only non-protestant churches use it, so it's a limited weapon. Anyway, the rights of penance aren't just about asking forgivness of God, you can do that on your own, a lot of it is about publicly admitting that you've sinned to the commuity.

[Zhavric]

In summer camp, I got the crap beaten out of me by a kid who we'll call "Jason". Jason was a prick. In addition to beating the crap out of me he embaressed me in front of a girl I had a crush on... who I met later on in college... and who still wouldn't talk to me.

So I feel justified in having done the following:

Jason, being a prick, had convinced the camp he had a "sleep disorder". Insomnia is what he claimed. He would eat lots of sweets that his parents gave him and be on a sugar high until 1 or 2 in the morning and then take naps during the day after the councelors woke him up early.

When Jason did sleep, it was alone in his hogan (cross between a tent and a cabin) and he slept the sleep of the dead.

I had my backpack with me at camp. After the beating & the embaressing, I found that I had a tube of super glue with me that I forgot to take out (I had been building a model at school).

I got two kids who also hated Jason to cover for me. I snuck away into his Hogan while he was asleep with the super glue in my pocket (making it nice and warm).

I find Jason snoring away flat on his back. So what did I do? What makes me an aweful person?

I superglued both his eyes shut.

No. Really. Both eyes.

It dried before he woke up. I can still remember the throaty scream he gave out when he couldn't get his eyes open. He ended up going to the hospital to have them unglued. He never came back to camp. They questioned me, but without the superglue container they had no proof.

[G. Adams]

Quote by: Compugasm OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

And the award for best Goonie quote goes to Compugasm. You are a legend my friend.

[Gods_Mercenary]

Z, beating up a prick is a service to God, you don't have to confess that! You should do that more often you'll be in heaven whether you want to go or not.

[Zhavric]

I didn't beat him. I sent him to the emergency room and could have permanently blinded him.

He did not send me to the emergency room nor did he permanently blind me.

Do not mistake revenge for justice.

[Gods_Mercenary]

Sorry, I thought it was a little kiddy thing, I didn't read the whole thing, now I'm the prick. Dammit! at least we're on line. If you had a bunch of friends, a good couple of punches is a lot more satisfying and a lot less dangerous.

Not that I'm advocating violence or anything.

[Compugasm]

Quote by: Zhavric Do not mistake revenge for justice.

So, that girl never talked to you again? Is it because Jason beat you up, or maybe she doesn't want her eyes glued shut while she slept?

[bishop]

hung out with some buddies on a certain new year's eve... went to nyc, smoked blunts in public. came home, dropped everyone off except one of my closest friends.. then, we took a dozen eggs a piece and proceeded to drive around, smoking more, pelting the same car (a guy he knew who messed around with his girlfriend) over and over again.

the icing on the cake was that when we finished the last egg and were ready to call it a night, the guy comes speeding up to our car (his friend was driving him home from work) and starts telling my buddy that someone destroyed his car. my buddy's all like "yo man, that's fucked up! i can't believe someone did that!"... we ended up driving back to the guy's house, into his driveway and got to admire our work up close and personal..

anyone here know what it looks like when the egg on a car freezes? ain't pretty...

luck was on our side that we got away with it.. we were hysterical when we left the guy's driveway and ended off the night.

[Gods_Mercenary]

Not bad considering you were high.

[Captain Chaos]

Quote by: Compugasm OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Gorzok, the sky gnome of fake puke, wishes to applaud you for your wonderful prank. He says your practical joke cancels out all of your previous sins!

And...

Man, that is just an awesome stunt!

[Captain Chaos]

Quote by: Gods_Mercenary I suppose you're making fun of the rites of penance, an interesting target since only non-protestant churches use it, so it's a limited weapon. Anyway, the rights of penance aren't just about asking forgivness of God, you can do that on your own, a lot of it is about publicly admitting that you've sinned to the commuity.

Really, I am not making fun of anything - at least not malicously. I am just being goofy for its own sake.

[Compugasm]

I've been thinking about this, and I don't get enjoyment out of actually striking back, such as the glue or egging incidents. I enjoy the potential for revenge, at any time. Like the person is forever vulnerable.

Specifically, those who have "wronged me", I have their SSN's and personal information that I have never done anything with, but occasionally I think about what I could do with that information, and no matter where they are in the world, I could strike at them. That's scary.

[bishop]

Quote by: Gods_Mercenary Not bad considering you were high.

believe me, there's much worse....

i was a bad one in high school..

[Gods_Mercenary]

You have their information, that's awsome. Anyone would be happy to know you have your wrongers in the palm of your hand. Although, they could have the same weaponry, so don't use em, well that depends on what they did.

[Captain Chaos]

Quote by: Zhavric In summer camp, I got the crap beaten out of me by a kid who we'll call "Jason". Jason was a prick. In addition to beating the crap out of me he embaressed me in front of a girl I had a crush on... who I met later on in college... and who still wouldn't talk to me. So I feel justified in having done the following: Jason, being a prick, had convinced the camp he had a "sleep disorder". Insomnia is what he claimed. He would eat lots of sweets that his parents gave him and be on a sugar high until 1 or 2 in the morning and then take naps during the day after the councelors woke him up early. When Jason did sleep, it was alone in his hogan (cross between a tent and a cabin) and he slept the sleep of the dead. I had my backpack with me at camp. After the beating & the embaressing, I found that I had a tube of super glue with me that I forgot to take out (I had been building a model at school). I got two kids who also hated Jason to cover for me. I snuck away into his Hogan while he was asleep with the super glue in my pocket (making it nice and warm). I find Jason snoring away flat on his back. So what did I do? What makes me an aweful person? I superglued both his eyes shut. No. Really. Both eyes. It dried before he woke up. I can still remember the throaty scream he gave out when he couldn't get his eyes open. He ended up going to the hospital to have them unglued. He never came back to camp. They questioned me, but without the superglue container they had no proof.

Ilchuck, the sky gnome of righteous vengence said the following to me:

"Brahg, lu gondu!"

That translates into:

"Tell that man he did an excellent thing. The punk in question learned a valuable lesson about the price that bullies must pay. In general, standing up to bullies is a good thing. Not only does Zhavric have no penance to pay for this, but I applaud him!"

[jose]

The things i did before, i didn´t think them bad at the time but now i see certain things i did as being very bad, not much i can do to undo them, i can only try to do nice things for others, without view of reward, and that is my penitence, but i enjoy doing good