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luke virtual kh · Oct 30, 2006, 08:58 am

Hi,
I'm Jesus.
Just had broadband installed in the Kingdom of Heaven.
How are you folks doing? Is there anything you would like to know?

The BIG J

iahag · Oct 30, 2006, 11:26 am

Do you keep up with modern fashion?

underbear1 · Oct 30, 2006, 12:37 pm

How's Mary Magadalene and the kids?

Nathan Struth · Oct 30, 2006, 12:51 pm

This guys a fake! I'm Jesus! I'm coming back from the dead on halloween in my school!

**Jack** · Oct 30, 2006, 02:24 pm

Quote:

Just had broadband installed in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Must be satellite. DSL and cable wouldn't reach that far (which is how far, exactly?)

Osborn F Enready · Oct 30, 2006, 02:29 pm

What type of ganja do you prefer long hair?
How are those sandals after all these years, or have you upgraded?
Whats with these poser Christian groups?
Who is your PR guy, and can I get his number?

**Jack** · Oct 30, 2006, 03:35 pm

Quote:

This guys a fake!

Man, I don't know. He's behaving just like the biblical Jesus...pops in, says a few words then disappears and refuses to answer further questions. :eek:

underbear1 · Oct 30, 2006, 05:40 pm

**** NEWS FLASH
Rush Limbaugh just announced this Jesus is faking it.

iahag · Oct 30, 2006, 06:59 pm

My friend killed himself. He didnt follow christianity. He was only 16 when he did it. He hung himself on a football goal post after being kicked out by his step dad. He did this because the football pitch was the one place he found happiness. So tell me, is he burning in hell for all eternity for not being enlightened during his short stay on this earth?

Chava · Oct 30, 2006, 07:07 pm

Hey could you kill some people for me. I'll hand you a list.

The Architect · Oct 30, 2006, 07:14 pm

I thought Jesus would make a bigger entrance.

Abdullah · Oct 30, 2006, 09:19 pm

Praise da Lord!

Now all we need is a anti-Christ and we're all set

iahag · Oct 30, 2006, 09:20 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Abdullah

Praise da Lord!

Now all we need is a anti-Christ and we're all set

Applying, would you like my CV?

**Jason** · Oct 30, 2006, 09:21 pm

Quote:

Quote by: luke virtual kh

Hi,
I'm Jesus.
Just had broadband installed in the Kingdom of Heaven.
How are you folks doing? Is there anything you would like to know?

The BIG J

Can I ban you from a website? Or, a better question, can you ban me from my own?

Rainbow · Oct 30, 2006, 10:12 pm

Quote:

Quote by: luke virtual kh

Hi,
I'm Jesus.
Just had broadband installed in the Kingdom of Heaven.
How are you folks doing? Is there anything you would like to know?

The BIG J

Bandwidth : optical ?
How much ?
Any limitations :-)

luke virtual kh · Oct 31, 2006, 01:51 pm

Quote:

Quote by: iahag

Do you keep up with modern fashion?

Yes, especially ladies in bikinis.

luke virtual kh · Oct 31, 2006, 01:52 pm

Quote:

Quote by: underbear1

How's Mary Magadalene and the kids?

Couldn't be better. The kids have done theology degrees and are very respectful and obediant.

luke virtual kh · Oct 31, 2006, 01:53 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Nathan Struth

This guys a fake! I'm Jesus! I'm coming back from the dead on halloween in my school!

No! I've multiple personality disorder, and you are one of my other personalities. Theres more to me than the trinity you know!

luke virtual kh · Oct 31, 2006, 01:54 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Isherwood

Must be satellite. DSL and cable wouldn't reach that far (which is how far, exactly?)

The kingdom of heaven is within you.

luke virtual kh · Oct 31, 2006, 02:02 pm

Quote:

Quote by: Osborn F Enready

What type of ganja do you prefer long hair?
How are those sandals after all these years, or have you upgraded?
Whats with these poser Christian groups?
Who is your PR guy, and can I get his number?

1 - I quit due to the fact that I inadvertently caused WW1. My hair is 89 meters long though.
2 - I have one of those airboards from back to the future - combined birthday and christmas present off Dad.
3 - Chill with the will man, cchill with the will.
4 - My pr man is Daddy, and his number is 6.

Oct 30, 2006, 08:58 am	#1 (permalink) (top)
luke virtual kh Molten Ash Posts: 138	Jesus is back! Hi, I'm Jesus. Just had broadband installed in the Kingdom of Heaven. How are you folks doing? Is there anything you would like to know? The BIG J

Oct 30, 2006, 11:26 am	#2 (permalink) (top)
iahag Skeptic of Skeptics Location: Bristol/Plymouth Posts: 219	Do you keep up with modern fashion? The more painless an exercise, the more likely you are of doing it. The more painful an exercise, the more likely you are of learning from it.

Oct 30, 2006, 12:51 pm	#4 (permalink) (top)
Nathan Struth don't care Location: NY Posts: 267	This guys a fake! I'm Jesus! I'm coming back from the dead on halloween in my school! I'm just a fool caught in the rat race of life (Nathan Struth) please help me solve world hunger, It's hard to do it alone.

Oct 30, 2006, 02:29 pm	#6 (permalink) (top)
Osborn F Enready Principled Observer Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 13,876	What type of ganja do you prefer long hair? How are those sandals after all these years, or have you upgraded? Whats with these poser Christian groups? Who is your PR guy, and can I get his number? Petition of Redress of Grievances: http://www.givemeliberty.org/default.htm Canadian Lawsuit Against Their National Banks: http://www.freewebs.com/classaction/ Osborn F. Enready

Oct 30, 2006, 06:59 pm	#9 (permalink) (top)
iahag Skeptic of Skeptics Location: Bristol/Plymouth Posts: 219	My friend killed himself. He didnt follow christianity. He was only 16 when he did it. He hung himself on a football goal post after being kicked out by his step dad. He did this because the football pitch was the one place he found happiness. So tell me, is he burning in hell for all eternity for not being enlightened during his short stay on this earth? The more painless an exercise, the more likely you are of doing it. The more painful an exercise, the more likely you are of learning from it.

Oct 30, 2006, 12:37 pm	#3 (permalink) (top)
underbear1 BANNED Posts: 2,630	How's Mary Magadalene and the kids?

Oct 30, 2006, 05:40 pm	#8 (permalink) (top)
underbear1 BANNED Posts: 2,630	**** NEWS FLASH Rush Limbaugh just announced this Jesus is faking it.

Oct 30, 2006, 07:07 pm	#10 (permalink) (top)
Chava Sedimentary Rock Posts: 13	Hey could you kill some people for me. I'll hand you a list.

Oct 30, 2006, 07:14 pm	#11 (permalink) (top)
The Architect Agnostic, Cynic Location: New York Posts: 285	I thought Jesus would make a bigger entrance.

Oct 30, 2006, 09:19 pm	#12 (permalink) (top)
Abdullah Assad ul-Jihaad Location: On the Battlefield Posts: 212	Praise da Lord! Now all we need is a anti-Christ and we're all set _________________________________ لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله _________________________________