Boxers vs. Briefs (Jason vs. Sean)

[Jason]

This private debate is for demonstration purposes.

Sean, I challenge you to a duel! I say boxers are better than briefs.

• Briefs reduce sperm count.
• Briefs do not have fun designs
• Boxers allow for easy access at the urinal

What say you?

[Sean]

Quote by: Jason Briefs reduce sperm count.

Exactly...who the hell wants a kid? We should distribute briefs to countries in need of population control. They truly are the humanitarian's choice in undergarments.

Quote by: Jason Briefs do not have fun designs

really?

Quote by: Jason Boxers allow for easy access at the urinal

They also allow such "EASY ACCESS" to things like electric saws, fire, hail storms, etc. Thanks but no thanks..I prefer a little homeland security down in that area.

Also who the hell wants to make a urinal break more efficient? Americans are productive enough as it is.

I would also like to point out that less fabric is used in the production of briefs. Do you support products, such as boxers, that are MORE EXPENSIVE for American consumers to buy and produce? I suppose you just want all of the jobs to go to China.

A vote for boxers is a vote for less jobs, less genital security, and more malnourished children.

[Jason]

Quote by: Sean Exactly...who the hell wants a kid? We should distribute briefs to countries in need of population control. They truly are the humanitarian's choice in undergarments.

Clearly you were misinformed in sex ed. Briefs are not forms of contraception and fluids can easily permeate through cotton.

really?

Admittedly, there are fun-looking boxers. But by and large, boxers are able to keep the occasional onlooker from seeing just how big mini-me is. Popular designs distract the eye while looseness disguises true proportions. There's no way for the unfortunate man to hide his pig-in-a-blanket with briefs.

Also who the hell wants to make a urinal break more efficient? We're productive enough as it is.

You obviously are not familiar with the importance of bathroom efficiency and are a threat to all mankind.

[Sean]

Quote by: Jason Clearly you were misinformed in sex ed. Briefs are not forms of contraception and fluids can easily permeate through cotton.

I'm sorry...now I'm confused. First my opponent says "Briefs reduce sperm count." now he's telling us they do not. I am not sure the public can trust someone with so many mixed messages.

Also, I attended a sex-ed class, as you suggested, and described to the instructor how you believe conception is possible without genital contact. The teacher has scheduled an appointment with you to start with fundamentals of sex (Chapter 1: Debunking the Stork theory).

Admittedly, there are fun-looking boxers. But by and large, boxers are able to keep the occasional onlooker from seeing just how big mini-me is. Popular designs distract the eye while looseness disguises true proportions. There's no way for the unfortunate man to hide his pig-in-a-blanket with briefs.

I, like most PROUD Americans have nothing to hide. I am fairly satisfied with my proportions. Once again I am just not sure the American public can trust someone who obviously feels the need to hide their presumably small package. Are you not satisfied with what our creator gave you? Is religion not enough for you? Can America trust someone who lacks confidence and faith? Will our world image suffer from a leader with a small package that he is afraid to expose?

You obviously are not familiar with the importance of bathroom efficiency and are a threat to to all of mankind.

I value the public's trust, so I research my sources before I post them. My opponent posted a North Korean propaganda video designed to destroy the social fabric of American culture. Clearly the video means to discourage dialogue, free-speech, and the leisure we Americans have earned.

So we have an opponent who is sending mixed messages, is content with hiding things from the public, has a questionable respect for what God gave him, and believes propaganda from North Korea should define how we practice our FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS.

A vote for Jason is a vote for Hurricane Katrina and dead puppies.

[Jason]

Oh… now you've made me mad!

Quote by: Sean I'm sorry...now I'm confused. First my opponent says "Briefs reduce sperm count." now he's telling us they do not. I am not sure the public can trust someone with so many mixed messages.

Briefs do reduce sperm count. But distributing briefs as a form of population control is ignorant and simple-minded. Everyone knows sex is inevitable. Why not distribute condoms? Sex wearing condoms would be infinitely more effective and comfortable than sex wearing briefs.

Also, I attended a sex-ed class, as you suggested, and described to the instructor how you believe conception is possible without genital contact. The teacher has scheduled an appointment with you to start with fundamentals of sex (Chapter 1: Debunking the Stork theory).

Your congressman is not a sex ed instructor. You have been compromised. Call 210-349-RAPE (7273) immediately.

Your picture is entertaining, but mine is damning.

I'll bet you never thought we'd identify you. Well, I did. And your suspenders are flattering.

I, like most PROUDAmericans have nothing to hide.

You represent the self-centered, self-involved, nearsighted right-wing nut job that is destroying this country. Your arrogance overlooks the fact that many are not as unfortunate as you say you are. Anyway, if you really were as well-endowed as you claim, you would be well aware that boxers allow the appendix to hang freely and unobstructed, so long as it does not exceed the length of one's leg. With briefs, an oversized appendix must be wrapped around the body.

My opponent posted a North Korean propaganda video designed to destroy the social fabric of American culture.

Suspenders. Need I say more?

[Sean]

Quote by: Jason Oh… now you've made me mad! Briefs do reduce sperm count. But distributing briefs as a form of population control is ignorant and simple-minded. Everyone knows sex is inevitable. Why not distribute condoms? Sex wearing condoms would be infinitely more effective and comfortable than sex wearing briefs.

I am not sure the public can trust someone who apparently lacks the capacity to think logically. If sperm counts are reduced by wearing briefs, as you have admitted, and the goal is population control, briefs are better than boxers in this regard. That is the only issue being discussed here Jason. Condom-wearing is another form of protection that is not prevented by wearing the better undergarment (briefs). I am sure killing pregnant women is a better form of population control compared to briefs too but I am not going to advocate such a policy like my opponent has.

Your congressman is not a sex ed instructor. You have been compromised. Call 210-349-RAPE (7273) immediately.

My congressman is a member of your party and these allegations were reported to your office in 2000 but you failed to take any action. I guess you liked his campaign money too much to protect our children.

Your picture is entertaining, but mine is damning. I'll bet you never thought we'd identify you. Well, I did. And your suspenders are flattering.

It appears my opponent once again has a problem with using our FIRST AMENDMENT rights. He is advocating that we ban public demonstration, suspenders, and green grass.

You represent the self-centered, self-involved, nearsighted right-wing nut job that is destroying this country. Your arrogance overlooks the fact that many are not as unfortunate as you say you are. Anyway, if you really were as well-endowed as you claim, you would be well aware that boxers allow the appendix to hang freely and unobstructed, so long as it does not exceed the length of one's leg. With briefs, an oversized appendix must be wrapped around the body.

The polls show I represent about 99.9% of the population approaching the election, so I guess we’re all “arrogant nut-jobs”. Also my opponent is OBVIOUSLY not a proponent for literacy as he has missed all of my points regarding how unsafe it is to have such an appendage hanging freely. Americans prefer SECURITY over COMFORT Jason. Also I should add that such forced boxer wearing will increase LIBERTY TAXES on all Americans by 300 percent.

I would also like to point out that my opponent did not respond to the North Korean propaganda de-bunking. Can the public trust a leader who uses North Korean Propaganda and is afraid to have an HONEST conversation about it? Can the world trust a liar?

p.s. Jason I'm bored lol...

[Jason]

Sean, you wear boxers. Case closed.

Disclaimer:
This was a demonstration of the new private debate feature. Our arguments should not be taken seriously. Please do not hurt me. You can hurt Sean.