Would you have protected sex with someone HIV positive?

[Fonceai]

@Mia

Either way, if it were my wife, and something happened and she got HIV after the fact, I would have sex with her, with protection, if she wanted to.

Hell, if she wanted to have sex without protection, I might consider it.

That's my wife. I love her unconditionally and without equal.

If she wants to express that love physically and with protection, I won't deny her.

[Mia]

Quote by: bishop *derp* yeah, that was the story... no needle attacker. Thank goodness. That one story (and there are others like it) is bad enough. We don't need needle attackers!!!!

all i know is if i met a girl who was positive, i wouldn't stay in that relationship.. that's a tragedy waiting to happen one way or another.

OK so what if your fiance were to be found HIV positive now, as it often lies dormant for a long time with no symptoms, and you haven't caught it?

See, now it's not so easy - we're talking about your true love here.

[Mia]

Quote by: Fonceai @Mia Either way, if it were my wife, and something happened and she got HIV after the fact, I would have sex with her, with protection, if she wanted to. Hell, if she wanted to have sex without protection, I might consider it. That's my wife. I love her unconditionally and without equal. If she wants to express that love physically and with protection, I won't deny her.

So you would take on the illness with her?

I actually had a man say this to me! I was STD paranoid, had only been with one person and had this fit of guilt for not getting tested before we had sex with birth control only. He said if I had it we'd have it together and travel around the world until we died (there weren't good treatments then and he was rich)

I think he was a keeper ;-)

[Fonceai]

@Mia

That's basically my stance on it.

I wouldn't go out of my way to get it, but I couldn't imagine denying my wife physical love because she's dying of a disease.

How ironic, though... if she had the flu we wouldn't have sex because neither of us want me getting the flu, but if she has HIV I would feel differently about it.

[Mia]

Quote by: Poledancer Unless I and my partner have both had a negative test outside our 'window periods', I guess any potential partner could be HIV positive. So that would be a yes.

Everyone needs to be thinking like that and the disease would halt.

[Mia]

Quote by: Fonceai @Mia That's basically my stance on it. I wouldn't go out of my way to get it, but I couldn't imagine denying my wife physical love because she's dying of a disease. How ironic, though... if she had the flu we wouldn't have sex because neither of us want me getting the flu, but if she has HIV I would feel differently about it.

Well, that's because the flu goes away relatively quickly ;-)

[bishop]

dunno how i'd react if i found out after the fact..

fortunately, i know that she doesn't have HIV and neither do i, so i won't have to make that difficult decision. then, we stopped using condoms and went to other means of birth control. i would say, however, that if i found out at the outset of our relationship, we probably wouldn't be together right now. and i definitely wouldn't have dated anyone who was positive. there are always other fish in the sea - fish that don't have that horrible disease.

[Mia]

dunno how i'd react if i found out after the fact..

That's the toughie. I'm with you on the other, and I'm not in a relationship so I can't guess how I'd deal with the after-the-fact question.

I know if I were married I wouldn't leave him unless he obtained it through cheating on me.

[Fonceai]

@Mia

Well yeah. But I mean the irony that I want to avoid getting something temporary like the flu, but I would be willing to get something permanent like HIV.

Plus, HIV isn't necessarily a death sentence.

In the '80's it scared the shit out of people. But if you paid close attention, you noticed that while the less fortunate were contracting AIDS withing 6-10 years and dying shortly after, celebrities, most notably Magic Johnson, were living with HIV and he has now gone almost 20 years being HIV positive but no AIDS.

Makes one wonder, doesn't it.

Here is just one article from about 10 years ago. Around '94-'96 there was a heavy interest in using early treatment drugs to see if HIV could be supressed or completely eliminated.

http://ww1.aegis.org/pubs/atu/1995/ATU3003.html

Around '02-'05, once the numbers were back from the early treatment studies, you have articles like these:

http://www.hopkins-aids.edu/publicat...t/mar04_7.html

But on the other side of the "early treatment is good/bad" coin, you have:

http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Sect...nt_for_HIV_Act

That led me to this site:

http://www.taepusa.org/

Pretty much everything you would want to know about HIV treatment. Their focus is on those on gov't aid, but they keep up to date in the studies about early HIV treatment.

---

I know this isn't a heavy-proof-required thread, but I think with something like HIV, there is the educated view and the view based on media or old ('80's or '90's) research.

In this case, while I wouldn't continue contracting HIV from my wife and undergoing heavy treatment for it, I also wouldn't be as afraid of her dying in 10 years or of myself contracting HIV and leaving my children without a father.

[underbear1]

Poz people immediately after being diagnosed, feel no one will ever touch them or love them again, I'm here to say that isn't true. There are people who cope with sero-divergent situations, and care that the HIV negative partner remains HIV negative..........because we love them.

[bishop]

all i can say is that it takes a certain/special type of person to knowingly enter into that situation.. it's definitely a blessing for the people who are infected - possibly essential to prevent them from falling into despair. you also can't blame people who wouldn't want to get involved (particularly sexually) with someone who is infected either.

[Fonceai]

I can't remember it off the top of my head, but there is actually a dating site out there for people with HIV.

It helps them meet others with HIV or find those who are educated enough to feel comfortable dating someone with HIV.

[Poledancer]

I know that there are amazing drugs out there, but many people do still die of AIDS despite the drugs.

The problem with both parents being HIV positive is that if both got sick, the child would end up being an orphan. Although you could say the same for 2 diabetic parents, 2 parents with a family history of heart attacks etc.

[Mia]

Quote by: Fonceai I can't remember it off the top of my head, but there is actually a dating site out there for people with HIV. It helps them meet others with HIV or find those who are educated enough to feel comfortable dating someone with HIV.

There are sites for all of the STD's that aren't curable. HIV, Herpes, Warts.

'Meet other singles with ______'

That's a good thing.

[underbear1]

gay.com and other sites have HIV+ chat rooms, where incidently I met my lover 4 years ago, and migrated from Minneapolis to Louisiana to live with him.

btw. One of the most annoying problems in that POZ chat room was MORONS known as bug-chasers.........who WANT someone to infect them, coming into the chatroom DAILY!
I'd chase them out with showtune lyrics, they hate when you laugh at them and ignore them completely.

[Fonceai]

Correct me if I'm wrong on this...

But I would think that for a gay couple it might be easier to live with HIV than a hetero couple.

I know plenty of gay and lesbian couples that don't need intercourse to "have sex" or they have come to terms with the fact that certain forms of sex aren't comfortable or convenient.

The crude but simple terms my friends uses are that not all gay men like anal sex. Some only like oral sex and some not at all.

But with a hetero couple, there seems to be a psychological inability to accept that there are alternatives.

[Mia]

Quote by: underbear1 gay.com and other sites have HIV+ chat rooms, where incidently I met my lover 4 years ago, and migrated from Minneapolis to Louisiana to live with him. btw. One of the most annoying problems in that POZ chat room was MORONS known as bug-chasers.........who WANT someone to infect them, coming into the chatroom DAILY! I'd chase them out with showtune lyrics, they hate when you laugh at them and ignore them completely.

OK, explain this bug chasing thing to me.

[bishop]

that's just as fucked up as the old german story of the guy who volunteered to be cannibalized.

[underbear1]

It's people who for a variety of reasons want to become Poz, some think it's inevitable they will become POZ, and want to do it immediately, Some are lazy and think living on less than 600 dollars a month on disability will me SO GREAT! Some are self destructive and self loathing, and want someone else to destroy them because they don't have the guts to just suicide. I don't understand any of it, but have seen these folks repeatedly.

I wonder what becomes of these idiots, usually young adults when they get their wish?They'll find living with the side effects the AIDS drugs produce is no picinic, the fat leaves your face and redeposits on your belly, you are nausiated and suffer diahrea for weeks, every flu bug or cold can become a trip to the hospital........etc, etc,etc.

[Mia]

All of those reasons are crazy. HIV doesn't even grant you disability and could hardly be worth it if it did.