Melon Farmers

[RickSp]

The other day I was watching "Die Hard with a Vengence", a supremely dumb but kinda fun movie, on TV with a group of friends. Samuel L Jackson and Bruce Willis were bickering, accusing each other of racism, among other things. At one point Jackson stops and says to Willis - "you racist, melon farmer." Several more times in the movie, someone called someone else a "melon farmer."

It took us a second before someone started laughing. Melon Farmer? Let's see what other two word phrase starts with an M and F and has two syllables in each word? Isn't censorship wonderful?

Anyway, around our house, we are calling each other "Melon Farmers" a lot these days.

[Milton Bradley]

Funny, I picked up on that words substitution right away.


P.S. There is a melon farm within a half mile of my house so calling people farmers has gone out of fashion. People did used to use that word as some type of insult around here, but it sort of faded into oblivion, don't hear it at all any more.

[Kite]

Fruit you man! Fruiting censorship peice of slant!

[tman_ndsu08]

You should watch the censored version of the movie Fargo.

They say "froozen" and stuff like that.

[Scribbler1]

There was an old cop movie called "Freebie and the Bean" with Alan Arkin and James Caan with one of those Bowdlerized scenes I remember vividly. One cop steals the other's gun while he is sleeping and when the other cop realizes it he begins to chase Caan around, shouting "you stole my god damned gun" over and over.
Later the TV version shows the scene with Arkin, a " tough, hard boiled cop" chasing Caan through the park yelling, "you stole my gosh darn gun". Sad.

Good movie though. Worth the watch just for the scene when they crash into the apartment building.

[Chris]

the funniest thing I remember was Die Hard 2 at the end when Bruce Willis said "Yippie Kayaae Mr. Falcon"

Mr Falcon or "Falcon" was the code name they gave to the pilot who was flying the plane, Bruce Willis proceeds to set a gas trail on fire and blows up the plane and saves the day.

Ill let you guess what the unedited script was.

[RickSp]

What I do like about the Die Hard movies, in a addition to creative censoring, is that each one gets dumber and less believable. Willis is bloodied, battered and tossed around but never seriously hurt when any mere mortal would have been smashed to bits six scenes before. Really great mindless fun. Like a video game but with melon famers.

[Plasma Snake[D]]

Yeah, one movie I saw on TV had one character saying "you mother-loving idiot...", the motherloving part was dubbed over the familiar phrase on hears, which is motherfucker(duh). Sometimes they get ridiculous with the censorship.

[Scribbler1]

Quote by: Plasma Snake[D] Yeah, one movie I saw on TV had one character saying "you mother-loving idiot...", the motherloving part was dubbed over the familiar phrase on hears, which is motherfucker(duh). Sometimes they get ridiculous with the censorship.

Are you sure it was dubbed? How old was the movie? The reason the age matters is that because of heavy censorship in the 40's no one would say certain things anyway. Films like war movies done back then are funny now, to see tough men in bad situations sound like librarians.

Older movies were often written that way because the studio KNEW the line would not have been allowed and "mother lover" was an accepted way of saying the banned word that could appease the censors.
If you're interested, read up on the Hays office regarding movie censorship. There was a good book on it titled, "See no Evil" some years back.

[Chris]

On Full Metal Jacket, in the end scene, after they kill the sniper Animal Mother says "I say we leave her for the mother loving rats." That was the actual script.

RE: Die Hard being unbelievable, YES! Thats what I love about Fake ass shoot 'em up flix. I thoroughly enjoyed films like Commando and the Steven Segal films of the early 90s. And likewise movies like "Transporter" -although Transporter 2 was horribly bad.

[RickSp]

Quote by: |Chris| RE: Die Hard being unbelievable, YES! Thats what I love about Fake ass shoot 'em up flix. I thoroughly enjoyed films like Commando and the Steven Segal films of the early 90s. And likewise movies like "Transporter" -although Transporter 2 was horribly bad.

They have the wonderful quality of a live action cartoon where you can drop a safe on the hero and he gets up and dusts himself off.

[tman_ndsu08]

The 80's were the prime decade for action movies.

Predator. Love it.

My favorite scene is at the end when he sets the "tree trap" for the Predator and baits him with:

"KILL ME!! I'M HERE, KILL ME!! COME ON!!! DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".


Oh god. That gets me every time.

[Rive]

Ah yes, action hero quotes

makes me tear up everytime I hear them

[Plasma Snake[D]]

You gotta love the overused "see you in hell, punk"-shoot-gas-tank-kill-big-final-leader-of-enemies- sequences.

[RickSp]

Quote by: Plasma Snake[D] You gotta love the overused "see you in hell, punk"-shoot-gas-tank-kill-big-final-leader-of-enemies- sequences.

Do I hafta?

On vacation not long ago I had to pull my kids away from a movie they were watching in the hotel room. I can't remember what it was called but it was featured Dustin Hoffman, Cuba Gooding Jr and a monkey. The movie was for all intents and purposes over and we had to catch a train, so I told the kids what would happen next and turned off the TV. Later my son found the movie on cable on demand and fast forwarded to the end. I apparently got everything right. He asked me if I had seen the movie. I told him no. All there action-adventure movies end the same way, more or less.

The screenwriters are all probably melon farmers.