[orgaelin]

It depends on how you define selfish. If I surrender all my worldly good and work vollunatrily for the good of others for the rest of my life that, that is selfish. Why? Because I am the one benefitting because I get such a good feeling from being a good person.

The same is true of every good deed - the god doer gets rewarded. But that's an agreeable payoff. No-one accepting help is gona say "no thanks because you're benefitting from it too"!

So we have agreeable selfishness. There has to be a degree of 'self-first' motivation else we wont be able to help others at all.

Again I agree that people make friends for their own needs and gains. But it's not selfish because everyone gains. And it's not about fear of looking bad in front of people! If you don't know anyone, who are you afraid of looking bad to?! Not everyone cares what others think.

"Love? I doubt it exists. People "love" other people to improve their own emotional wellbeing. If love really exists, why do people divorce?"

I agree with this too, but love is complicated. Remember that love for siblings isn't the same as love for a husband/wife. There are many levels of love, and the most infantile of them does start out as utterly selfish. But as you mature you find love that is not selfish. There is always the personal gain, but also the gain for the loved one too.

There is no selfless act or emotion or action or whatever, but selflessness is stupid any way. Most of the time we (that is, all of us who aren't you) act for the benefit of everyone including ourselves.