(Syracusa's quotes take from the hardest job in the world thread.)
Quote:
Originally posted by syracusa,
I did get your point about "it is possible to hate your kids". Yes, those 1% psychopaths Lava was talking about. Ok.
But ooops - too bad, it's yours, it is your responsibility and you're supposed to love the little monster anyway - because YOU wanted to have one. |
I think that is what society believes, but I've come to see it differently. I have seen just what its like to be within spitting distance of a child psychopath on a destruction rampage, and its seriously nasty.
Society automatically portrays the child as the victim, but I have concluded this is not _always_ so. Psychopaths can be incredibly destructive for no sensible reason. They can be treated well, brought up in a loving family, etc, but, they are psychopaths, and to psychopaths _any_ care and concern for others is something they just dont get. Once they work out how to damage people, when they get a silly reason to, they will. They can tear families apart, or target and destroy organisations in some cases, normally for some very childish reason. Some kiddy hackers are an example of this. They can hoax the emergency services for their own entertainment, whatever, the damage they do means nothing to them.
Due to our society's trusting preconceptions they can even get a parent jailed occasionally with false allegations.
We tend to blame the parents, but really there's nothing we know of that a parent can do to make a psychopath behave normally, morally, or with any consideration at all for others' wellbeing. Nor have we any idea what could cause a child to be psychopathic in the first place. Its therefore a cop-out to blame the parents in such cases.
When they get going they are truly nasty, truly dangerous, and they show not the slightest care for the wellbeing of their parents. I do not see how a parent can honestly be _expected_ to love a child that treats them like that. Yes, there is the exceptionally strong parental bond, but really with a child like that, any reasonable parent could be entirely understood for just gagging for the day they leave.
> 1. When you made your kid, you made a choice.
You have to honour that choice to feed clothe and house them. You expected to love them too, but I guess life just doesnt work out in 100% of cases.
Would you love a vicious abusive dangerous manipulative horror? Would you love your son when he commits murder at age 11, gets convicted beyond all doubt, and casually tosses into the conversation one day that basically if you dont meet all his childish ego-centred expectations he'll tell the police you were part of it? How would you feel? Would you judge a person harshly for saying they cant love such a child?
Our society imho is in the midst of a period of considerable unreality around psychopathic children, and especially teenagers, who have sufficient life skills to inflict appalling damage on other people's lives without the slightest care in the world. Whats scary is that society can in fact help them to do so, by assuming they are victims, rather than appalling victimisers. Thus the real victims, the parents, can in fact be victimised by society's support structures in such cases.
Sadly, such people are a reality. As they say, life is a gift with no guarantees, and things can go very wrong indeed. Occasionally they do.
Lava!