[syracusa]

I did get your point about "it is possible to hate your kids". Yes, those 1% psychopaths Lava was talking about. Ok.
But ooops - too bad, it's yours, it is your responsibility and you're supposed to love the little monster anyway - because YOU wanted to have one.

However, everything you wrote is yet to address the following FACTS:

1. When you made your kid, you made a choice.

2. When you made your kid, you did not make it for the continuation of the human species - but for YOURSELF. Most people (in developed societies) have them to have "mini-me's". It's called ego.
So don't tell me about the grandiose project of the continuation of humanity. (Waow. Such individualistic - me-me Americans...suddenly thinking in abstract societal terms and worrying about what would happen millenia from now if they stopped screwing without a condom.
I don't buy it).

3. Even if you find everything you need in nature to survive, you still NEED to have "a job": that of picking up whatever there is in nature, so you can eat it. If you go pick up an apple - that will be your salary: the apple. And this is in the case where you have a special gift to detect appletrees growing in no man's land, which is usually not the case.
But maybe weeds work for you. Even so, you worked by picking up the weeds so you can survive.

I repeat: you do not need to have children in order to survive. And this is a FACT. No matter how you twist it, in today's modern society - a child is a luxury and a choice - not "fate".
If you afford to be a stay-at-home mom, that means there is somebody out there who provides you and your child with means of subsistence.

As far as your accusations:

I have held three non-academic jobs so far to put myself through grad school (not only the most recent one that lasted 6 months); they all sucked, although the last one was a very prestigious position, not the "menial" thing you thought it was.
For the rest of the time, I worked in academia which I love, because it really comes closer to the "stay-at-home" mom version in many respects : autonomy, flexibility, authentic human interaction, diversity in what I do, authority, able to avoid rush hour traffic, no nasty bosses and back-stabbing collegues; can also work from home.
I am "master of my domain": I make the curriculum, I give the grades, I choose the teaching style, otherwise I work from home.

Most corporate jobs do not offer all the above and believe me, most people DO crave that. It's very nice to have these goodies. But most give in to the need of a higher salary. So they can PROVIDE!!!!

I don't have children yet but I have close friends right under my eyes who do. I see what they do every day, I also hear it from them - and ...
I AM NOT SHEDDING A TEAR over their "hard fate".

It is a GOOD LIFE and I would like it for myself and my kids too. There's nothing more fulfilling and satisfying than raising your kid, in your cushy private sphere. It is awsome.
In the mean time, the husbands put up with the nastiness of the public sphere and WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF - whether they like their jobs or not. Just because you say you love your job doesn't mean that a huge percentage of people don't hate theirs. There have been very gloomy surveys out there in this respect.

Ask how many stay-at-home mothers HATE what they do?

There is a reason why the expression "Haven in a heartless world" was coined to describe the "home". Being a stay-at-home mom means carrying out your activities from the comfortable environment of your private "haven". Dads (and working moms) work in in a "heartless world" and this is more and more the case today.

It's time to remember that providers deserve the gratitude and respect they used to get. Although I am usually leaning on the left, I am quite conservative when it comes to this issue.

I would feel indebted and grateful to the man who offers me the opportunity to play "perfect mommy" at home so I can raise my "perfect child". This is what my husband is working on now, so we can get to that point.

I consider it a gift and I feel deeply grateful.