Quote:
Originally posted by prettyredhead,
Even bad parents are left vulnerable and feeble, and should be honored for merely giving their children life. They could have aborted them.
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Prettyredhead,
Well...ok, I must confess I cannot agree entirely with the statement above (though I am very much with you on a lot of the stuff you post and I have a special affinity for you on this forum) :)
Should bad parents still be helped and respected by their children? Sure. It's only humane and now that the status quo is the way it is - parents are here, children are here - both should behave as nicely and lovingly towards one other, as they can - despite the past.
But I cannot agree that people should actually feel "grateful" towards their bad parents, for having put them in a miserable life.
This kind of unquestioned authority and "sanctity" of parents only encourages irresponsible breeding. It is exactly what makes many people have children when they shouldn't: it gives them that minuscule dose of unquestioned power, when otherwise they don't have any.
And I KNOW it is inviting. But is it RIGHT? No. At least, not to me.
I know that you say today that you had kids for the wrong reasons (I would definitely not be for "having a kid to get attention"); but now that we have a "fait accompli" and the kids are here - they are welcome and it would be stupid to continue to judge someone and rub the "mistake" in her face.
I even posted somewhere that i do not mind that a little bit of the taxes I paid went towards your welfare when you needed it. It is the right thing to do. Now that your kids are here, they are - UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES - supposed to starve, even when their mother cannot find a job. Period.
Moreover, you ARE now a responsbile parent, trying your best, instilling good values, working to raise them, etc.
Many parents though don't even do that and have no remorses about not putting in the time and energy. They think that "having kids is just normal for everyone" - regardless of financial situation, etc.
Now...finances matter, no matter how you put it. It is painful but true.
They may not have mattered so much in the past, but boy...do they matter in a modern society.
And even if it is...biologically normal for everyone to have kids, morally speaking, I am not so sure; considering the dog-eat-dog world we have come to live in, considering that it is officially proclaimed that society owes absolutely nothing to your children (only YOU do!!)...I am afraid I would be less excited about encouraging a poor family to have kids (or lots of kids) than I would be about encouraging a well-off family to do the same thing.
I am not a big fan of poor people having kids ...let alone "a lot of kids" - because I hate the idea of my child being thrown into the marathon of life yet being positioned in the very last place when the tough race begins.
It only gives the ones in the front even better reasons to whip ours once they have finished the crossing the line and can just rest.
Ours, having started last, may never get there.
And then...we go back to the "compassion-less rich people". Why would they be compassionate towards our kids, when we too were too busy living our lives to be compassionate towards them?
I am of the principle that unless you're prepared to offer conditions for a good quality life, DO NOT create the life.
I know I won't, unless I feel prepared.