[orgaelin]

As may be apparent, I do a lot of preaching against the biblical God and Jesus. Why do I do it?

I feel a need to raise this topic because I have been a bit strong lately in my aggressive responses to peoples claims that their god is a good one.

I want people to know that the worst thing I could ever do is sow even a tiny seed of doubt in the fields of your faith. I would hate myself for that.

I do not seek to de-convert you. I do not want you to doubt your own beliefs (though I doubt you ever will!) and I do not want to shout at you.

Obviously when I get carried away there is some emotion fueling my fire. This is resentment, because I resent your god for not being what I feel he should be. I resent the bible for being inconsistent and self-contradictory. I resent Jesus for claiming so much yet being so absent from the world. I resent my childhood churches and schools for teaching me so much that the bible doesn't even say. I resent the fact that this religion of yours has evolved over thousands of years (even before Christianity) and still it is not able to convince that there is a god worthy of my... worthy of even my respect.

I do not believe most of what the bible says, though I recognise there is a lot of actual history contained within it. However, if I *did* believe it, or if it turned out to be all true, I would be resentful all the more.

I would resent God for being so cold-blooded and ruthless and vengeful and angry and judgemental and unsupportive and such an absent parent.

So whether your beliefs are true or not, I resent that I cannot find happiness or even contentment in them.

My resentment is therefore not for you, but for your god, and the authors of your bible. When I argue with you, I do so only because you claim to defend your god, and I cannot speak to him of my complaints because he'll either not listen or he'll listen and danm me to hell for it!

There's a question somewhere in all this:

Is it right? I mean here on the board we have people who believe, and people who absolutely do not believe. What are we doing? Bantering back and forth to give our respective viewpoints... I know I for one have never come even a fraction closer to accepting the views of the believers, and I am in doubt that they have failed to come closer to my own views too.

So why do we do it?

If you wont change your mind and I wont change mine, what's this all about?! Is there something else we get from it? I suspect all we do is strengthen our *own* beliefs?

~ Org.