Funny, I've been dwelling in thoughts about death and its absolute nature for some time, ever since my Father was diagnozed with Leukemia (blood cancer), some time ago -- and now it's back -- as he's in ER after a bypass surgery, and have had some problems with stopping the bleeding. He was under the knife today (thursday), so he's in a very critical stage still as I'm typing this.
I just returned from the local pub, so excuse typos and silly structure of writing
, it's been a nervous day for me and my family.
Anyway, about death;
I've been more or less atheist in my "beliefs" after I realized how absurd the christian god is in my early teens. The reason why I went on about about my Father, is that I've today been put in the situation where I found myself asking the question: "Am I desperate enough -- in this instance -- to pray, even though I haven't acknowledged god?". I really pondered about it the whole day with tears in my eyes, which is more than I'm sure 99% of the by-parents-guidance-religious people have, and finally came to peace with it; I don't need to pray to a god for this. If there is one, it surely doesn't require me to -- in a time of pain -- bow down and make a false "connection" to it. In any case (with him dying or surviving), I know now that I believe in science and logic, and my Father's own physical/mental abilities to fight the problems, not a false christian/muslim/hindu etc etc god.
So, anyway, about death itself. I do believe that when you die, you die. You are no more. I've been reading what "Orgaelin" has been writing on this forum, and I think he/she has some good points when it comes to souls, but I know I'll never know (even following his/her ideas about it). The thing I do know though, is that when your friend dies, that friend is gone from you. Relish the memories of that person, but relish them for
your pleasure, not a god's or his "soul's". Keep in mind what the person has done, and tell them to others, for
your pleasure and peace of mind, not the dead one's. Even in the case of the person that has died would "want this and that", he/she would most likely not want you to do anything different for him/her!
Let's say you die, and go to heaven or whatever. You see your child/friend look up to the sky and saying "I know [insert your name here] would've wanted me to do this, even if it will cost me [insert something he/she loves here]." Why the hell would anyone do that?
I know I'm going really random here, but as I said, I'm a bit beerish and sad and scared, and someone posted a thread about death in general.
As a footnote; I hate people who seek sympathy over the internet, so let me make it clear I'm NOT looking for "I'll pray for your dad" or "Sorry to hear about your father" - replies, mmkay?
