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| KNOW:ONEThey have all the time in their adult lives to become manipulative, lying, self serving, A%@holes. Why start them out early?
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If that is what you consider negotiating you have a lot to learn.
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Gods_Mercenary
it's just difficult for a mother who not only spends most of the day being caring and being motherly towards their children to transform into a disciplinarian on a dime, whereas my father, a big guy with a gruff voice when needed never had that problem.
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Being caring does not mean not being authoritative. A mother can discipline and control as well as a father.
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Depending on how old a child is, they are incapable of negotiating, and at any rate there should be some points that are non-negotiable, just like real life.
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Of course but many points are. Just laying down the rules does not teach a child to self discipline. Negotiating teaches the quid pro quo principle. If they want something then they need to give something.
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Maybe, but then again, male insecurity is a driving force in human interaction.
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I think in a way you have answered ST 's question. If boys are not raised to respect the authority of the mother and men do not respect the authority of a woman then it carries on into the marriage and men will not respect their wives.
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| tivodan1116One does not "negotiate" with children. You start by controlling everything in their life, and gradually release control (and allow them to make their own choices) on a piecemeal basis as they gain maturity.
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That is true. It is very much age dependent. As the child grows they have to be able to learn that it is their life and that they must make the decisions.
I started out the same with my kids . Gave them a choice but limited the choice. Now I find that the choices they are making on their own are good ones.