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I think the root of the problem is human ego (for lack of a better term). A discussion on theistic v. atheistic world views seems to always devolve into a "You're stupid! No, you're stupid!" shouting match. It may be justified with appeals to different logical perspectives, but in the end, it comes down to the need to feel some sense of victory. The more insecure you are, the more you need to win. Some atheists insist on talking down to believers and some believers insist on claiming moral superiority. When two or three from each camp start snarling at each other, reasoned debate goes out the window and people start protecting their sense of self in ugly ways. The debate becomes a fight to protect the ego from being damaged. The theist "needs" to win because something so central to their self-perception can not be allowed to fall and the same can be said for the atheist. It gets there so fast because some people are less secure than others, but in the end, we all end up picking our side and entrenching.
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To extend on your argument, if we're getting into the psychology of the matter, isn't wanting there to be a heavenly world waiting for you beyond this one a huge influence? And a hell for your enemies? And a perfect moral authority who 'takes care of his flock' through 'mysterious ways'? I would say the theist needs to win to maintain their "sense of balance" more than their pride.
You're right the same is true of atheists -- everyone wants to maintain their "sense of balance."