Is that Patrick Henry I am detecting with my leftie-O-meter? Why, yes, I think it is! How ya been, Pattycakes, ol' buddy? You've been missed around here, I've heard.
I'll try to get to any rational points I may locate in your post a bit later, as the ol' carpal tunnel is rearing its ugly head at the moment....but for now, welcome aboard.
Pull up a stool, the barkeep will be over directly.....er, you are old enough to drink, right?
As you were