Indeed, while the finite aspects of humanity are the subject of science, I think poetry and other such artistic things reflect our infinite qualities such as love, which is what a non-reductionist would say is much more than mere chemical processes and has emergent properties.
As for the poem, it might be more suitable to have a more uniform number of syllables per each line, but of course, many poems don't follow the "rules" and could still qualify; indeed, many don't even rhyme. I like it though. It's quick and cold. It's certainly quite sincere as well.
I guess you have your style. I was writing some poems too recently. In fact, here's one called "Sniper" I wrote recently:
Quote:
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Quote by: Me Killing a man for a foxtrot-fee,
Is a difficult job, if you’d like to know.
Just watch poor Mike-mouse try to flee
With a searing sight of scarlet flow,
I locked onto our dear friend
For a second clean sierra-shot.
I was at my road’s dead-end,
And real living human I was not
For those one hundred thousand
In monthly golf-green bricks.
My dear king-finger I would tend
The trigger—no—didn’t play my tricks.
I sincerely wish I could forget,
Yet I took my shot from that dark roof
With my cursed cancer-crosshairs set.
But in my side—ah—I felt a hoof,
So I trembled with an undead fear.
I saw no stipend could trump the cost,
I felt my future was November-near,
For in the mirror, I was truly lost.
Just aim the shot and stick it in,
Our skilled sergeant said back then.
But now I laugh and insanely grin
As scope parts monsters from true men.
Bravo-bullet—yes—will find its way. |