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There is a demonstrable harm in allowing gay marriage. For one, the next step is gay people demanding that pastors not preach against homosexuality. This has been done before, when a gay group tried to sue a pastor.
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Considering many churches these days are ordaining gays, I think it would just be easier for a gay person or couple to find a church that already had turned from preaching hate and instead practiced love and fellowship, maybe even had a gay pastor, then to try to change an existing congregation.