Joe, there are two main definitions of anarchy.
Anarchy as complete chaos and destruction. For example nihinlism
Anarchy as a economic/social system. There is a structure, and you are pointing out common misconceptions. There is a wealth of information on the internet, and I suggest you check this site out.
http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archi...ives/index.html
On your part about government, it can never be perfect, as only communism and anarchy offer full freedoms, by tha abolition of government. Control is the very opposite of freedom.
Also, could one call the US a very mild tolatarianistic government. They represent the opinion of the government, are very naitonlistic, and censor some radical opinions and/or protests. It also supports the rule of the upper class over the lower classes.
Shalom