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I think the biggest problem in almost all relationships is our desire to entertain ourselves instead of trying to help the other person feel happy. Generally, when you try to help the other person be happy, you enjoy the relationship also. There is a certain satisfaction in knowing that you worked hard, or sacrificed what you wanted for someone else.
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I think the 3rd relationship is actually describing the 2nd relationship and from what you said, it would appear you see things similarly.
What is "virtue"? Is it something noble that we've been taught to appreciate and
enjoy expressing?
I don't believe many examples of true altruism exist. I think people are primarily motivated by self interest but that includes pleasure found in helping other people, but that's still motivated by a sense of self fulfillment, or to go to heaven etc., and not solely to benefit someone else.
Maybe there's a difference between #2 and #3 in what society teaches as virtue and how these desires are expressed but the motivations are the same, from my view.