McBride, you made me laugh there!
I'm what I call an optimist, and others call a delusionist!
It all comes down to what I am prepared to believe/accept/pretend is true. I don't presently believe that she loves me. I believe that she believes she does, but that she is denying the obvious even to herself. Thus either of two things will happen in the probably-near future: 1, we'll stick together through this untill it's more of a memory, and our feelinsg return to normal; or 2, she will slowly learn to be honest and we'll both go our separate ways.
You mentioned about seeing her in two ways... I agree, but the two ways I see are the her that seems to be real now, and the her that I used to think was real. I had an image of her as an impeccably honest woman who would never cheat on anyone, who would never lie, and would always be there when I needed her. Now I have an image of someone who has contradicted all of my beliefs about her. The problem is working out which image is real right now. Is the original image true and the new one was just a passing error, or was the original image a delusion and the new image the real one?
I'm not enjoying this discussion, because even as I write I can see answers staring me in the face that I don't want to face! The one thing I know is that untill I am certain of anything I should be careful with what I do. When you are as confused as I am right now, you don't go messing up your whole life on a 50/50 hope that it's the right thing to do.
I'll keep you posted anyway. Thanks again everyone.
~ Org.
